Daddy Like.
This week on Make me a Supermodel, it's all about passion. Threesome photo shoots make me TINGLY. The models contend with their own insecurities while in cute sailor suits, and the catwalk stresses a sort of ham-fisted role reversal....where the girls wear power suits and the guys wear skirts. And yeah, I still wanna do Colin. And CJ is still lame. Yay!
Hey Party Pee-holes! Welcome back for another episode of MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL! WOHOOO! SUPERMODEL-RY! FASHION! DRAMA! ANARCHY! SNARKY! BARKY! MALARKY! NOAH'S ARK-Y! And, eliminations.
Filling in this week for Catherine Mallandrino (who is, apparently, on permanent leave from the show)...Author and "fashion industry veteran" (aka, assistant) Kelly Clarkson. Uh, I mean, Kline. Klein! Is she related to Kevin Klein or Ann/Calvin? Either way, she's super thrilled to be here.
Yipes, Models?
The models wake up to Tyson Beckford "acting" like a drill Sargent. Yeesh. I don't know what's worse- having to witness Tyson acting or waking up early. Amanda?
Acting! Definitely Acting!
Oh, and since y'all wanted more screen shots, here's one of CJ looking, again, like an 8th grader.
Authority Figures SUCK!
Everyone's walking around like they just got beat up and/or are zombies.
Welcome to Skinny Boy Junction.
They get into a big 'ol flatbed truck and everyone reacts to this unsettling situation in their atypical ways. Amanda looks dumb and suprised as Gabe pouts and puts his arm around her. Salome talks about how being in the truck is just like being a Mennonite. Jonathan wonders why he's here at all. Jordan bitches through her puckered-asshole mouth. Kerryn devises ways she can put Colin's penis inside of her, and Colin laughs nervously. And, then, they arrive at a non-descript military base with non-descript military music playing in the background. Wohoo!
Joshua Kogan, the photographer, informs the models that they will be doing a shoot about getting naughty in the military. Which means, threesomes? Man, where do I sign up? I love god. And, my cunt. I mean, my country. God Bless America, and all the hot-ass men that reside inside of it!
As Amanda describes all the sexual tension and potential bathroom jack-offery, we get a lot of inserts of boys listening to the photographer's speech.
Mmm...Boobs.
Ahhh, boobs.
Confusion.
Passion is the key in this shoot...and let me tell you, I WANT the models to BRING IT. Let's see some cock n' boobs n' butts!!! Tyson tells the models that they'll be doing sexy threesomes with each other (sorry, I BLEW MY LOAD earlier- tee hee!) and says it like he's someone's creepy dad being fucking creepy. Oh, Tyson. It's a good thing you can earn money in this world without using your words, personality or intellect.
The first group is Mouahhaha, Gabriel and Starburst. Starburst keeps it creepy by voicing his distain for the threesome being two guys and a girl, then grinning and saying, "but you take what you can get, right?" Right.
I can feel his chicklet teeth gnawing on my body....
Group two is Jordan, Amanda (YES! The producers definitely did that) and Brandon, who leaps for joy. Gross. Brandon declares to the cameras that he'll "stick my tongue down their throat." Great.
Group tres is Colin, Salome and Angry-face. What? No Creepy commenting after the announcement of this group? Only Salome promising that Colin's gonna be "torn up." Boo. I want something that constitutes a restraining order.
The last group is Kerryn, Jonathan and CJ, who is obviously thrilled with the prospect of human interaction. Oh, wait, here's another darling 8th grade still....
I will try to fit in a threesome after my Clarinet Lesson.
Jonathan politely declares that CJ is gonna suck in their shoot. Ah, the British.
Oh, and here's another great screenshot for y'all- the classic thong over shirt combo.
Nice work, Angrier-face!
And Moahahahahah loves talking shit about Angrier-face's fake boobies and Brandon's big (right) belly. I can't tell if I like her or if she's obnoxious as fuck....
As Mouhaha's group goes first, Kerryn drools over Colin in uniform. MMMMMM!
More Gratuitous Ass-grabbery!
Gabriel is SO BORING, pouting and the whole thing is looking more and more like a bad, sailor-themed porno.
Jordan, Amanda and Brandon are next, Jordan going on about how "cute" she looks. Blech. You know Jordan- I like you for a while, mostly until you picked a blond enemy and wouldn't shut up about her.
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Comments (8)
Kelly is Calvin's ex-wife. :)
1 of 8 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on April 7, 2009 8:58 AM
OMG i LOVED this episode! photo shoot = hawt! and johnathan modeling underwear = double hawt!
i thought i died and went to heaven!
2 of 8 | Posted by animalcrackers | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:41 AM
Great Recap Monamonzano, thanks for posting it. Thought this was a better episode than the others. Was suprised that they kept Gab over CJ. CJ pics were much better and he is unable to even crack a smile.
Thanks
K
3 of 8 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on April 7, 2009 11:12 AM
Great recap! I loved this episode! So sad you didn't mention the Brenden interview happiness of being in a twosome with two girls, doing non-gay kissing with plenty of tongue. Then they cut to the photog and he went "Brenden, you are going to be a voyeur watching these two gorgeous girls make out with each other. Waaaaayyyyy over here. W/ a convenient wall in place to hide your boner that is not going anywhere near the two hot girls making out. Got it?" And flash back to Brenden's interview. "Douchebag." Awesome. :)
4 of 8 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on April 7, 2009 11:28 AM
Thanks Mona, you've filled my head with more dirty thoughts than I've had in a while!
Pouty Mcpouterson is making me nuts, oh how he bugs me, fuckin' spit the lemon already!!!
Glad CJ's gone, she was a never no anyway, probably just there to be the booby girl.
I like Angrier's personality, but she is just not a model to me. Starburst is fading for me, tho I thought he was the one to beat, and Mwahahahaha, Girl, what are you doing letting those dudes squeeze your boobs . . . did no one say that's off limits . . . seemed the judges were WAY offended . . . Brandon is still setting off my gaydar, even more the more she protests . . . Good for Jonathan booking 2xst--at least he'll have something no matter how this turns out.
Is it wrong that I think Cory Bautista is the hottest on the show--yeah, I thought so . . .
5 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:33 PM
Colin & Laury were hot in their picture! But Salome looked lost.
Kerryn looked great, and so deserved the win. I thought Jonathan's picture was a tad too porno (but not as bad as Pouty, Mouhaha, & Starburst), but he was really the only one who had a chance at the go-see.
6 of 8 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on April 7, 2009 4:02 PM
Totally agree that Colin and Laury were the best.
As soon as we found out that 2xist (of Janice Dickinson fame) was the client, it was obvious why Jonathan "won". I smell a fix. Did they have a different client set up if a girl had won? Things that make you hmmmmm
7 of 8 | Posted by REALITEE | Posted on April 7, 2009 11:53 PM
REALITEE - I don't think the client was a set up -- I imagine they have 2 go see's set up per challenge - one for the girls and one for the guys.
I was very glad my hottie Jonathan won...I could see him easily winning this. And I'm SO glad whatsherface is gone...man, she was annoying! Now, if we just get rid of pouty-face - he drives me crazy and he keeps getting uglier and uglier as the episodes go on....
8 of 8 | Posted by smolls | Posted on April 8, 2009 11:36 AM