Tonight some of the best become some of the worst, Perry's heart gets stomped on, Shannon's hair gets pulled, and Ronnie does his best David Lee Roth on Make Me a Supermodel!
My darlings, you have my sincerest apologies for the late recap. Unfortunately, at Sparkles' place of business, management seems to have taken on Hydra-like qualities. Since my boss was fired last year, five separate people all decided that they are my boss instead, and I've been run ragged, working obscene amounts of overtime, all which keeps me from my first love, making fun of would-be models.
(Aside - I am hoping to god that it actually IS Hydra that, if you cut off its head, two more grow in its place. Because the only thing more obnoxious than making reference to Greek mythology is doing so incorrectly. But I'm too lazy to look it up. Oh well.)
We kick off the episode with Bonnie discussing how Ben will miss Ronnie if he gets voted off. Beautiful Frankie holds up a framed photo of his girlfriend and says he wants to see her, but he doesn't want to see her yet. I bet the feeling is mutual. I can just see Frankie having the type of girlfriend who slams the door in his face and yells "And don't come back until you've got a contract with Ralph Lauren!"
Katy says she feels good about this elimination, because she's crawled back out of it so many times before. She says she didn't do anything wrong this week. Yeah, except EAT BREAD AFTER YOU RUN!! In model world, that's the equivalent of a real-world person who stands on the street corner dressed as the statue of liberty and screams at the top of their lungs about the second coming of Christ. (To all my street-corner-yelling readers - I didn't mean it. I love you all. Kisses.)
Beautiful Frankie makes the decision to wear a giant clock around his neck to elimination, for reasons unclear. Maybe we can set him up with some leftover Flavor of Love skanks! Those girls are so cracked-out, they won't even be able to tell the difference. Let's count the similarities between Beautiful Frankie and Flav:
1. Inflated sense of their own attractiveness.
2. Comparatively small stature.
3. Unfortunate coif.
I think we could pull it off. Someone give Buckwild a call! I miss her so much.
At the elimination ceremony, Niki explains to us in her signaturely-measured monotone that last week was all about the catwalk. The models walked in Fashion Week at Bryant Park, where Katy, Ronnie, and Frankie all sucked big time.
They announce that Ronnie is safe, and he breathes a huge sigh of relief. Aw, Ronnie, sweetie, of course you're safe! He's really the only person on this show that is halfway likable.
And then Tyson drops the bomb that Katy is finally out. People are voting for Beautiful Frankie??? He actually has an audience? I mean, I personally think he's hilarious, but not enough to pick up the phone to call Bravo and say so. Katy exits the catwalk in her 1998-style long belted sweater/jacket, and says that maybe she's average, but she's going to model anyway. Sure. I can think of plenty of average-looking supermodels. Like, uh...um....ok, maybe it's going to be a little harder than she thought.
Corey speaks for everyone back at panel and says they all agree that America made the right decision. He calls her beautiful, and even hot, but not a model. By now, she's probably a stripper. A girl could really use a confidence boost after all that criticism.
Back at the house, as always, the models are discussing who they think will return. Jacki, ever eager for Ben's ire, says that Ronnie may be too old to be starting out in modeling. Despite my glaring favoritism for him, I have to agree a big. A 25-year-old is no spring chicken in Milan. Shannon mentions that the winner of the competition needs to be able to carry the title with style and grace, and she doesn't think Frankie could do that. All he's carrying right now is a Mystic Tan membership card and some vitriol aimed at Holly.
Ronnie and Beautiful Frankie come back in the house, and when Perry sees Frankie, he actually jumps in the air out of excitement. You just wait until you two get to do a nude photo shoot together, Perry! Come on, you know it's coming.
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Comments (8)
Anyone else notice that Jacki wasn't on the runway for the critique or the eliminations?
1 of 8 | Posted by susanarosa | Posted on February 22, 2008 8:20 AM
Great recap as always
2 of 8 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on February 22, 2008 2:04 PM
I have come to the conclusion that all of these models are not as good as they think they are...especially Frankie. Bitch needs to go. So made that he is still around and Stephanie is gone:(
Come on Sparkles. i know you apoligized, but the tardiness of the recap was simply unacceptable.
You've got to do better than this. Thought you quit on us.
3 of 8 | Posted by bfrank85 | Posted on February 23, 2008 2:23 AM
First of all- cut Sparkles some slack bfrank! These are the best recaps on this website and if she has to do some "save the job or I'll starve and this shit don't pay all that much" outside work then so be it!
The phone call between Perry and his girlfriend was so freakin fake. It was as if he had the script but she froze up and/or lost one of the pages of her script. I can imagine the producers on the phone with her "now you are pissed at Perry, right?" "No, not reall-" "Yes you are! If you want him to stay in this competition, YOU ARE REALLY PISSED!" "O-kay. I guess so..."
Best line in the show is when Tyson says "Is Ben sucking the (whatever he said here) out of you?" to Ronnie and he says it with a straight face! And no one laughs or giggles like 4th graders! Maybe it will be on the DVD in the extras. I can only hope.
4 of 8 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on February 23, 2008 7:45 AM
bingo blog boy is right.
Sorry Sparkles.
You really are doing a good job. Didn't mean to be harsh, BUT the recap's lateness shook me up a bit.
5 of 8 | Posted by bfrank85 | Posted on February 23, 2008 5:23 PM
i love the smart humor you use for your reviews, they are hilarious. i liked the "e tu ronnie" caption. that was great. and i dont care that it was late its not a big deal ahaha
6 of 8 | Posted by kelseyM13 | Posted on February 23, 2008 6:57 PM
Y'all are too sweet. I really am sorry about last week. You have my word that Thursday's recap will be up by tomorrow morning! Heart.
7 of 8 | Posted by Sparkles | Posted on February 24, 2008 9:16 AM
sparkles, you are a fabulo recapper. Glad you are on this show... thanks for the laughs!
8 of 8 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on February 25, 2008 11:09 AM