Tonight someone totally undeserving gets a free pass into the final four, Shannon gets her first negative feedback EVER, Perry gets the deets on his cheating girlfriend, and they go through about 15 sticks of kohl on Make Me a Supermodel!
"I'm gonna f*ck you up, Adnan! You're gonna look like this by the time I'm done!"
We open with Ben, Casey, and Ronnie up for elimination. I'm thinking that this is a no-brainer (just like Casey! Zing!) to send Ben home on account of his one facial expression and horrible attitude, but the strength of Bonnie may pull him through once again.
Perry wakes up Casey, who is apparently as much of a gossipmonger as Sparkles, because the very first thing he says when he wakes up is he wants to know what happened with Amanda. Perry says he's not going to call her back - he's over it. If you recall, Amanda is allegedly dating Adnan Ghalib, which is disgusting enough in and of itself, but is denying the whole thing to Perry, and just keeping him around to get herself more publicity. I'm not Perry's biggest fan, but that's ice cold. HE HAS YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON HIM! If anyone ever tattooed Sparkles on themselves, I would try my very best not to cheat on them with Britney's on-again, off-again papparazzo fuckbuddy. I'm just a little classier than that.
Perry says that if he loses Casey, he'll have no one in the house to joke with, make up skits with, or get surreptitious handjobs from. Aww.
As Bonnie are both up for elimination, Ben remarks that their bedroom could have only one person in it in the next few hours. He says he learned (was shamed into accepting) a lot this week (like how to horribly insult a client and make an ass of himself). Ronnie thinks that he and Ben are their own worst obstacles. That's very Tony Robbins of him, but I don't think he needs to worry about it, being as how he's probably the most adorable reality TV contestant to ever grace the small screen.
At the elimination, Casey is rocking his lucky epaulets yet AGAIN. I'm so disappointed. He might have been in the high school band last year, but this show is about modeling. He should at least be taking a passing interested in clothing. But in the end, it doesn't matter, as Casey can't be made into a supermodel. Who is voting for Ben? He basically flat-out said that he doesn't understand how to model, he hates selling things, and no matter what he does, the judges (who, for all I make fun of them, are industry experts) loathe him. This is bullshit. And Corey agrees with me. He says right to Ben's face that it should have been him that left. Go Corey! A true friend stabs you in the front.
Back at the house, Holly reiterates that she wants Casey or Ronnie to go. She says that Casey is only mediocre, and she wants to compete against the best. Shannon agrees, saying that she wants to do better than the best; that way she'll feel like she really earned it. But earned what, exactly? A giant popularity contest amongst Bravo viewers? She needs to set her sights a little higher.
Ben and Ronnie get back to the house, and there's more boys vs. girls talk. Holly thinks that Ronnie is getting an attitude, and starting to be mean to people. Either its getting edited out, or Holly's crazy, because I've never seen him be anything but darling.
But there's no time for gossip - Tyson and Niki drop by the house to tell the models that in a supermodel's lifestyle, they have to be ready for anything at a moment's notice. The kids are going to New Orleans! However, this is not a vacation; they'll have to work hard. *Hopes Clay comes along to make the models do dumb challenges involving making penis sculptures out of Mardi Gras beads* Niki announces that only two models will be up for the vote this week. And then she sends them upstairs to pack.
Then Tyson pulls Perry aside. He explains that they usually keep the models completely sequestered from the outside world, but man to man, he deserves to know what's going on. Tyson hands Perry the issue of The Inquirer with the photo of Amanda and Ghalib, and Perry looks totally crestfallen. He thinks that it's his house that they're standing in front of, and the article says Adnan's spent the last five consecutive nights there. Ouch.
Now WHAT exactly do I have to get tested for?
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Comments (4)
Perry looks like a bat. Holly's voice is so annoying, which Corey pointed out.
1 of 4 | Posted by chachi | Posted on March 18, 2008 2:39 PM
Sparkles- I love your recaps and after this last week, I may stop watching this ridiculous show but I will still read your blog. It wasn't bad enough the week before that we had to be subjected to Perry's stupid phone call to the girlfriend/whore but this week we have Tyson Beckford calling Perry into a private meeting to show him a TABLOID with a TABLOID story about his girlfriend and tell him that "we usually don't do this but I thought it was important that you knew..." IT'S A TABLOID! There are no martian invaders in Talahassee either!
Worse, Mister Sensitivity Tyson gets him all riled up (another bad acting job by Perry) and then tells him not to take any of it seriously!
I can only imagine that the producers see how boring this show is and are literally busting their butts to create any sort of backstage drama. But this little scene actually made me sick.
AND THEN (I know I just keep going!) it was so obvious from the very beginning of the show that Shannon was going to be in the bottom three. If you go back and watch it again (but please don't- plant a tree or something) the editors set her up from reel one (very old term, yes?).
So that is my new game I guess. I am going to only watch the first five or ten minutes and see if I can guess who they are setting up and then wait for the recap to find out. That's called turning sh*t into shineola (makes no sense I know but hey).
2 of 4 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on March 19, 2008 7:18 AM
OMG, Sparkles . . .
"But the mood isn't brightened for long. Holly starts crying too, and writes some words of down-home Christian wisdom on the house frame. Something about walking roads by faith, and the recipe for squirrel gravy."
This made me laugh and cry at the same time, a first--thank you for taking my laugh/cry flower!!! And it didn't hurt as bad as I thought!
BBB--my Dad used to say Shineola--it's shoe-polish, I found out late in life .. ..
Pretty dull, but I thought the only 2 bottom was going to be exclusively to rid themselves of the B in Bonnie--obviously anyone against Ronnie is going home. Not sure how Ben pulled it off--maybe he was really gracious at the agreeably sad and unsnarkable home building. Looked like they did a lot! Holly bawling was sad.
I had to look hard for any article about that Perry ho's skanky hook-up (pages and pages of Dlisted, and just a blurb. She made it sound like A Diddy news flash--Love me some dlisted tho!
3 of 4 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 19, 2008 1:56 PM
if someone told me holly was really 37 years old, i wouldn't even blink. she doesn't scream supermodel to me at all.
she has one of those 'no air goin through your nose' voices. like a little kid with a cold. my stars is that annoying.
4 of 4 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on March 19, 2008 5:15 PM