Bitchassness Robert tells us that they'll work it out, and it wasn't the worst show in the world. I beg to differ. Okay, Robert bugs me! There, I said it! And I still say it from a place of love. I don't hate the man. But he really makes me bonkers. He's so full of himself. And he complains too much. And he can't seem to take direction. I was trying SO hard to stay impartial and not take sides in the whole Robert/Brian fiasco, but I can't stay silent any longer. Phew! It's good to get that off my chest.
Moving on, the girls are getting made up for the MTV promo shoot. It's really strange because there are NO stylists on set, and the girls are allowed to control their own appearance. Basically, they go NUTS. Bigger is better, and they all want lots of hair and lots of make-up. They look like they are all about to tip over face first because there is so much junk piled on their faces and heads. Aundrea's hair is so big that she looks like Cher circa 1987: The "Moonstruck" years.
And the photographer, apparently, doesn't seem to notice how bad their heads look because he is only focusing on their boobs. "I think I got your breasts," he tells Aundrea. Uh, thanks? As delusional as the boys, they think it all looks great.
After seeing the pictures, Diddy decides he needs to sit down and talk with them about their image. He starts with Shannon. He hates the red hair. Honestly, I'm surprised she was even allowed to do something that drastic without his permission. "I think it makes you look hard. It puts age on you." She fakes a nervous laugh.
Here are the rest of Diddy's notes:
To Aundrea: "You look pleasantly plump here."
To Everone: "Your hair; it's just overly glamorous. It's a lot of hair. A lot of fake hair. A lot of fake eyelashes. A lot of make-up. We'll get to you with that in a second Aubrey."
To D. Woods: He likes the direction she's going in, but he likes the shape of her hair better when he's covering the long part up with his hand.
To Dawn: No real notes here. But she can look more beautiful. And she needs to make sure that she keeps moving toward the beautiful direction instead of the "other" direction. (RE: The FUGLY direction.)
To Orangebrey: Needs the most drastic help. She is supposed to look like hometown girl, but instead just looks fake. "I didn't even know they sold this much hair."
The girls retreat back to their room where Orangebrey puts on even more make-up. Dawn asks what she is supposed to do, and Aubrey says, "Be happy with who you are and put a perm on it." It's true; Diddy's notes for Dawn didn't really make any sense.
It's the last night in Miami, and the girls and guys decide to throw a big siesta-themed party. Aundrea is making chicken tacos and watching her boiling chicken alone in the kitchen is really funny for some reason. It's like that section of US Magazine "Celebrities: They're just like us!" And they have pictures of celebs walking their dog, drinking coffee or boiling chicken.
Orangebrey's responsibility for the siesta is to be the bartender. Surprise, surprise. She sets up a little blender stand on the side of the kitchen and starts tossing in liquids haphazardly. It's seriously like that episode of "Roseanne" where Becky and her study partner make tornados. Brillo asks, "What is this flavor?" To which Orangebrey replies, "It's mango and a little bit of somethin' else...A little bit of Aubrey juice." Aubrey juice: Tastes like tuna! Something that the Brillster is very familiar with, I'm sure...
While they're busy eating, a mariachi band comes enters and plays some sweet jams. Everyone is pretty crunk at this point and dancing around. Dawn has a sparkler, and I am just praying that she doesn't drunkenly burn the house down. They put on sombreros and sing along. No really. They sing "Tequila." Too bad none of them are wearing white platform shoes. I'd LOVE to see the toe dance right about now.
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Comments (7)
I'm thinking/hoping his announcement will be something about them going on tour. I heard a rumor about them talking about going on tour with Miz Janet Jackson-I would hurt someone for those tickets! It probably won't happen, but I keep hope alive...
BTW-I love, love, LOVE the DK CD. Can't wait for the guys' CD to come out.
1 of 7 | Posted by trister | Posted on March 21, 2008 4:26 PM
Their cd is AMAZING ! it actually came out last tuesday not wednes day, they sold over 95k in the first day ! And arte estimated to sell 275k- 290k in the first week, making these girls no matter what #1 !!
2 of 7 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on March 21, 2008 5:55 PM
Hey manda!
Loved the recap! I just want to say that you have done an excellent job with the show this season!!!
It started off rough, but you have given me added entertainment with the show. THANKS!!
I will miss you after the finale this Sunday:(
Now, bought the girls album Tuesday and it was almost sold out at mt Target...wow. From what I hear, it was either almost or completely sold out at several places.
Great for them! They deserve it.
As for the boys this upcoming week...I don't have high hopes. I know I'm not the only one who will not support their bitchassness.
I know you agree with me Manda when I say that they are all in it for themselves. I see no group or brother hood as they mentioned.
What a waste diddy spent on them with producers, studio time, photographers, den mothers, miami houses, etc.
They don't have no competition this week...well Gnarls Barkley...so they might be #1 with 50,000 sold. lol. DK is estimated to be #1 with 250-275,000!!!
Good numbers during these downloading days.
GO DK!
3 of 7 | Posted by bfrank | Posted on March 22, 2008 12:20 AM
Manda - ANOTHER great recap! Your screen caps really made me laugh, although the tuna comment, ugh, I definitely threw up into my mouth a little bit, that was more detail than I ever wanted to think about!
I actually like Shannon's old hair, but agree, think all the girls look so much better post-make-over (ahem, Aubrey!)
I'll probably miss the finale (don't know if the family will be willing to gather round to join my guilty pleasure of bitchassness) but certain they'll replay it 99x over!
Please let us know what you're recapping next!
4 of 7 | Posted by chelle | Posted on March 22, 2008 12:46 PM
Does anyone know what happened to Brillo? Did he make any songs afterall? Seemed like he was too busy playing the piano and helping the guys out more than he was on his own music. What a shame, I totally felt like they were using him!
5 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on March 25, 2008 10:28 AM
This? "Minus Brillo of course because he....he died." Made me fall out laughing for some reason.
I can't believe you didn't mention Diddy's "transvestite aesthetic" comment, though. Him basically telling Aubrey that she looks like a drag queen and that it is not appropriate for Bad Boy artists was in my top 5 list of reality TV moments.
6 of 7 | Posted by kristin_d_l | Posted on March 25, 2008 5:11 PM
OMG I completely fell out of my chair on your Fugly Dawn comment. Seriously that was what Diddy was basically telling her. I loved how he tried to ease into the makeover conversation then immediately told Shannon he hates it. DK's performance was good, but I'm not feeling the song. But dang i'ma miss this show.
7 of 7 | Posted by couchpotato | Posted on March 26, 2008 4:22 PM