Orangebrey finds her "little muff," Aundrea, and they do a lovely, sloppy slow dance. It's so spectacular that Brillo must document it and takes out his yellow, disposable Kodak one-time-use Fun-Saver camera. Apparently, the royalties from his music haven't paid off quite yet.
The following day, the gang goes back to New York and starts working on their showcase to promote their new albums. Both bands will be performing in front of the best in the music biz to show off their talent. The girls' rehearsal goes great. They are spot on their dance moves and the singing is perfect.
But, predictably, things are not so smooth for the boys. There is a lot of pressure on them to make up for their huge blunder at the Fort Lauderdale club, and they are just not getting it together. Their dancing is so sloppy that it doesn't even look choreographed. Orangebrey and Aundrea's drunken tango was better than this!
Q and Mike keep looking at each other while dancing and smiling, so they almost look like they are making fun of the moves instead of committing to them. The instructor tells them to take it more seriously and make it sharper instead of flailing. They just look clueless. And the instructor just seems mortified because the boys are so unprepared and can't take direction.
The boys get a new choreographer named Flii, and they gather in a rehearsal room to work on their steps. Flii tells them to be focused and hammer it out because there is no time. Flii tells Robert to do something, and Robert snaps, "I can't do that, remember?" "Yeah you can!" Flii says. Oh Robert. A pentacle of positivity. What a bitchass. In fact, he pretty much bitches through the whole thing. The choreography is a lot of stomping around and snapping, which I initially didn't care for, but I came around. Flii definitely has his work cut out for him, but it comes together.
Meanwhile, at the salon, Danity Kane is preparing for their make-overs. All of them are freaking out about the possibility that they might be asked to cut their hair. I guess that none of them realize that, scientifically speaking, hair grows back.
Seeing this episode, it's very obvious that a lot of Orangebrey's testimonials from last week were her post-makeover. Remember how she looked more platinum at times? Screwy editing again, MTV! We shake an angry fist at you!
Anyway, poor Felix. He's the head stylist. And he has to talk with each girl about how he doesn't plan to make their hair longer. They all want to be Lady Godiva, and it just ain't gon' happen.
But there is a bigger problem going on. Shannon's hair is literally falling off. You can't normally take someone to platinum in one try. It's something that requires a few sessions, gradually stepping down the color. But Diddy wants what he wants, so these poor stylists - against their better judgment - are trying to meet the request. The best they can do, without making her hair so damaged that it breaks off in chunks, is to make her strawberry blonde. Or, as Aundrea calls it, "pinky orange." Shannon doesn't really seem to mind. If this were "America's Next Top Model," she'd be throwing a FIT.
After the break, Diddy has another special report with some great news! Bitchassness is down 15%! That's amazing! It seems like Robert's bitchassness is rising, so that means that to off-set his increase, a lot of other bitchasses must be calming down. Also, everyone can now buy the "No Bitchassness" t-shirt at the Sean John store in New York. If anyone buys this, please, please let me know!!!
It turns out that Felix is only going to be able to lighten the hair around Shannon's face, so he'll have to do the rest with blonde extensions. She is a really good sport about it though. Dawn, in shower cap, quips, "I look so attractive now that it's not even funny." Hillarious! I like Dawn a little bit more now just because of that! I totally had to sit in one of those hose-caps before when a hairdresser was trying to strip color out of my hair after my friend Ben dyed it from a box. I looked like a monster.
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Comments (7)
I'm thinking/hoping his announcement will be something about them going on tour. I heard a rumor about them talking about going on tour with Miz Janet Jackson-I would hurt someone for those tickets! It probably won't happen, but I keep hope alive...
BTW-I love, love, LOVE the DK CD. Can't wait for the guys' CD to come out.
1 of 7 | Posted by trister | Posted on March 21, 2008 4:26 PM
Their cd is AMAZING ! it actually came out last tuesday not wednes day, they sold over 95k in the first day ! And arte estimated to sell 275k- 290k in the first week, making these girls no matter what #1 !!
2 of 7 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on March 21, 2008 5:55 PM
Hey manda!
Loved the recap! I just want to say that you have done an excellent job with the show this season!!!
It started off rough, but you have given me added entertainment with the show. THANKS!!
I will miss you after the finale this Sunday:(
Now, bought the girls album Tuesday and it was almost sold out at mt Target...wow. From what I hear, it was either almost or completely sold out at several places.
Great for them! They deserve it.
As for the boys this upcoming week...I don't have high hopes. I know I'm not the only one who will not support their bitchassness.
I know you agree with me Manda when I say that they are all in it for themselves. I see no group or brother hood as they mentioned.
What a waste diddy spent on them with producers, studio time, photographers, den mothers, miami houses, etc.
They don't have no competition this week...well Gnarls Barkley...so they might be #1 with 50,000 sold. lol. DK is estimated to be #1 with 250-275,000!!!
Good numbers during these downloading days.
GO DK!
3 of 7 | Posted by bfrank | Posted on March 22, 2008 12:20 AM
Manda - ANOTHER great recap! Your screen caps really made me laugh, although the tuna comment, ugh, I definitely threw up into my mouth a little bit, that was more detail than I ever wanted to think about!
I actually like Shannon's old hair, but agree, think all the girls look so much better post-make-over (ahem, Aubrey!)
I'll probably miss the finale (don't know if the family will be willing to gather round to join my guilty pleasure of bitchassness) but certain they'll replay it 99x over!
Please let us know what you're recapping next!
4 of 7 | Posted by chelle | Posted on March 22, 2008 12:46 PM
Does anyone know what happened to Brillo? Did he make any songs afterall? Seemed like he was too busy playing the piano and helping the guys out more than he was on his own music. What a shame, I totally felt like they were using him!
5 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on March 25, 2008 10:28 AM
This? "Minus Brillo of course because he....he died." Made me fall out laughing for some reason.
I can't believe you didn't mention Diddy's "transvestite aesthetic" comment, though. Him basically telling Aubrey that she looks like a drag queen and that it is not appropriate for Bad Boy artists was in my top 5 list of reality TV moments.
6 of 7 | Posted by kristin_d_l | Posted on March 25, 2008 5:11 PM
OMG I completely fell out of my chair on your Fugly Dawn comment. Seriously that was what Diddy was basically telling her. I loved how he tried to ease into the makeover conversation then immediately told Shannon he hates it. DK's performance was good, but I'm not feeling the song. But dang i'ma miss this show.
7 of 7 | Posted by couchpotato | Posted on March 26, 2008 4:22 PM