This week's episode began like many a rap video: bright, colorful, and full of flashy boats zipping around Miami. Yes, it was the total South Beach fantasy -- the hip hop kind, not the Birdcage type (although, a random Christine Baranski/Diane Weist cameo would be most welcomed. Surely they're in Diddy's posse, right?). Anyway, as the girls hung out on the deck of a sweet, sweet boat, their master and commander, Sean Diddy Combs arrived to welcome them to the fair city and have a conversation. He told them that they'd come a long way, and now they were all ready to finally make a record. Mazel Tov! I'll break out the Manischewitz.

Since this was the umpteenth time that Diddy's tried to form a pop sensation, the stakes were high for him. He wasn't about to fail yet again. To ensure success, he called up a few of his music industry friends, who all happened to be major record producers. There was Brian Cox, Rodney Jerkins, and Timbaland (he of the "Girl, I'm a freak you shouldn't say those things!" -- a.k.a. my favorite sing-along line of the summer so far). Of course, these names were cool and all, but let me just say that today, J-Unit and I had a random meet-and-greet with the producer of Kevin Federline's "Popozao." I'm not even joking. Yeah, clearly Diddy should be hanging with us more. (And while I'm name dropping random hip-hop encounters of the day, I went to my gym this evening, and Pharrell was performing a MySpace concert in the parking garage. Only in Los Angeles...)

Anyway, the roster of producers involved on this destined-to-fail group was impressive, and at the top of the list was a fella named Scott Storch. He's the one responsible for such infectious tunes as "Run It" and "Lean Back." Basically, if a song has two monosyllabic words in the title, it's a Scott Storch classic. Well, Scott had a sidekick named Pooh Bear, who was essentially a tall, hefty black man with a ponytail. Still not sure what his stance was on honey. Sorry. Dumb Pooh Bear joke. I'll stop now.

Pooh Bear.

Anyhoo, Scott and Pooh wrote a nifty track the night before and played it back for the girls, who tried not to wince when they heard Pooh Bear's lovely falsetto on the temp mix. As the music played, the ladies bopped their heads back and forth with forced enthusiasm, but you could tell they were hoping for a lot more from Scott Storch. Still, they knew not to bite the hand that was feeding them, and afterwards, they all praised the track, which I've preemptively titled, "Destined to Fail."

Enthusiasm!

The music producers then decided to start recording the song's hook. This meant that each girl would have to go into the booth one at a time and sing their part. D. Woods kicked things off with a spunky recording session. She was followed by Shannon, who clearly was undeterred by the growing pimple under her nose. Aubrey then got in the booth and reacquainted the viewers with her breathy (read: weak) voice. All this time, the girls kept singing the line, "YOU KEEP ON STRESSING ME!" over and over again, and after a while, it simply sounded like an SNL parody, especially when Aundrea got in and went ultra-staccato. Last in the booth was Dawn, and guess what? She was having problems! Hmmm... I wonder if she was distracted by personal matters and just had to "let go" of what was bothering her? You know, like Shannon and Aubrey and everyone else who's profiled on this show every week.