This was an intense week on Making the Band! Not only did Robert freak out on D. Woods, but he freaked out on every boy in the group, all the producers and even Diddy! But don't worry, the whole show wasn't only about hateration. We also got to see the seeds of love begin to sprout between Dawn and Quanell. Awww just in time for Valentine's Day too!
We are back in New York with Diddy and the crew, ready to record some new music and perhaps even learn some new words along the way. Diddy opens the show and reminds us one more time that the girls went Platinum.
The boys show up to the studio to work on their new single, "Come With Me." The producer of the song tells them that he wants everyone to work together. No one will be the lead. If you are sensing a little foreshadowing here, then you would not be wrong.
Mike, Brian and Q take their turns with the song, and so far, it's sounding pretty good. The producers love it. I love it. What more could they ask for? Except that Brian keeps doing this weird hand motion when he's in the singing zone. It looks like he's dialing an imaginary floating phone or solving an invisible math equation that's hanging in mid-air. Brian, you're adorable, but you look like you are fondling your invisible friend when you sing. And I just have to say that it's a little creepy.
Next up is Robert who says that he hasn't had the opportunity to really shine and show Diddy his potential to make him millions of dollars, quickly adding "with my voice! Not any of that creepy male prostitution stuff. Diddy ain't my pimp!"
The producers give Robert instructions, and he's a little confused by them. I have to say, I would be too. They tell him to sing but talk. Let it flow, but chop it up. But don't chop it too much. Chop it just enough. While it still flows. And he's singing. But talking. Now shout and do a Nordic accent! Robert gets frustrated with all the conflicting directions and takes it out on the producers. This is just the beginning of a long line of Robert outbursts, so brace yourself.
Meanwhile, the Brillo is working on his album in another studio with Battle Roy. Wow. "Battle Roy." I wonder if he has even been trapped on an island with nothing to defend himself with but a dull spoon while other island inhabitants have chainsaws and machetes. Has anyone else seen "Battle Royale?" No? Okay, moving on.
Oh Brillo. You are sounding good. And the producer likes you. And you say some heartfelt things about never having a song on the radio before. And I am starting to come around and not think you are as dumb. And then you do it. You squirt in some breath freshener mid-verse. Oh Brillo. Why must you make it so hard? Must I continue the score between you versus brain damage? I thought we would be able to leave that behind this week. I know Aubrey is skinny as a rail but that microphone stand is not her, so put the breath freshener away. Please. Thank you.
Back in the studio, DK is recording a new song called "Poetry." Aundrea explains that this song is about the hardships of love. Uncharted territory in the music biz. Very original, ladies.
And again! Orangina is wearing a strange headband! Does she require this to keep her brains in? I'm worried that this is going to become her "trademark." I pray that she and Brillo never mate and have strange coarse haired headband babies.
We cut away for a minute and when we return, she has a Post-It sticking out of her headband. Ok, so maybe her headband doubles as an area for bulletins. Because unless there are memos directly stuck to her FACE, she can't seem to remember what's going on.
Aubs proceeds to cover Dawn's back in Q-referencing Post-Its that say things like "I want Q," "I need Q," and my personal favorite, "I will die if I don't do Q." She tells us that she does this because it's so obvious that Dawn loves Q even though she plays it cool. And because it's written all over Dawn's face, Aub is going to make sure that's it's written all over her back.
« American Idol: The British Invade Hotlanta | | Make Me a Supermodel: Bawdy Art »
Comments (12)
Great recap!
LOVE the title.
Diddys bitchassness speech - priceless. Old fart hahaha
I really dislike seeing any of the "talent", mostly the boys; so laid back, so unmotivated, when in the studio or in meetings with Diddy, just like little babies waiting to be told every little thing or they are going back to sleep!
They can't even sell themselves! At least the girls sell themselves!
Anywhoo...most of these people are ridiculous. But funny. And I'm not laughing WITH them.
1 of 12 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on February 7, 2008 8:09 AM
Every time that priest made that weird breathing sound i was wondering what was going on. That is normal??
Not a fan of Aubry's little headband thing either and I imagine that it would leave a line on your forehead when u take it off. I live in NY though and have seen a handful of people wearing those around. D-Woods hair bothers me SO much more than Aubry's headband though.
When Diddy kept saying bitchassness I thought it was hysterical. Who says that?!
2 of 12 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on February 7, 2008 8:15 AM
"They tell him to sing but talk. Let it flow, but chop it up. But don't chop it too much. Chop it just enough. While it still flows. And he's singing. But talking. Now shout and do a Nordic accent!"
Hilarious!
"New hair because my blonde hair clashed with my PLATINUM ALBUM"
What's up with stealing jokes from last week's comments?
Aside from the one above, this week's screencaps were hilarious.
"Diddy asks Robert if he has bitchassness in him. Robert says he does not, in fact, have the bitchassness. Diddy says that he saw the bitchassness when Robert was bitchassny around his girl. He needs to correct the bitchassness or else the bitchassness will mess him up."
I could not contain my laughter throughout that part of the recap. I haven't laughed out loud like that since B-Side left TVGasm!
3 of 12 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict | Posted on February 7, 2008 8:33 AM
This is the best recap I've read so far on the gasm. I was trying so hard not to lol while I was reading it at work. Especially the part about bitchassness. Hilarious.
4 of 12 | Posted by soft_whisper | Posted on February 7, 2008 12:08 PM
This was one bitchassed recap! (as the word seems to be new, I'm going to try to incorporate into my everyday language to see where it best fits!)
Translation: Great work!
The "Chris, err, I mean, Mike" recap was priceless!
And ... I just cannot get on the Donnie is going to be a star bandwagon, uh, he seems so bland, AND yes! yes! yes! dumb! What was he doing with the breathfreshener?? Maybe he had some bitchassness breath going on. Perhaps his album "Album most likely you'd be embarrassed to be caught listening to" will go platinum?
I do hope Robert continues to act up, drama! drama! drama!
Great recap! I'm off to find some bitchassed headbands, if they're already seen on the street, no much we can do, perhaps they'll help my assymetrical hair!
5 of 12 | Posted by chelle | Posted on February 7, 2008 2:39 PM
How old is Dawn, anyway?
6 of 12 | Posted by chelle | Posted on February 7, 2008 2:41 PM
GREAT job!
HUGE improvement from last week. You had me when you did the joke about not knowing Brian's name. LOL!! TOO FUNNY!
Great job! Can't wait for next week.
And I guess it will remain a mystery why Diddy was on those cruches....? Strange.
7 of 12 | Posted by bfrank | Posted on February 8, 2008 12:51 AM
I can't stop laughing over the Davey Crockett and Bye Bye Birdie references! Nice work.
The whole "bitchassness" lecture by Diddy was so absurd because he was dead serious. Is he playing a joke on all of us? But, props for managing to take such a hysterical moment and make it funnier. Oh snap, Robert - you suck so bad that someone had to make up a word to describe it!
8 of 12 | Posted by kristin_d_l | Posted on February 8, 2008 6:36 PM
According to Wikipedia, Dawn is currently 24
9 of 12 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on February 12, 2008 7:48 AM
Great recap! Makes me wanna see the actual episode.
My two cents:
Chelle, sorry but you are using the word "bitchassness" and it's variation ("bitchassed") wrong. It's NOT meant to be translated as a good thing. At. All.
The easy translation is this: GAY (both literally and figuratively).
Puffy's basically calling Robert a soft, whiny cry-baby who doesn't know how to step up and act like a "real" man. Which I find pretty damn hilarious since Puffy to me is the epitome of BITCHASSNESS.
Brian is easy to forget because he's the least attractive of all the guys. I try to forget him on purpose. Thanks for making that impossible now.
Some trivia - "hateration" was first made popular on Mary J. Blige's hit song "Family Affair". Puffy discovered Mary J. Blige in 1991 and worked on her first CD as Executive Producer in 1992. He's been credited for creating her then-unique image and sound - a mixture of R&B and Hip-Hop.
I wanna check out Dawn and Q's developing relationship. Astrologically speaking, Leo and Libra make a great couple!
The church thing? Yea, that's completely normal for someone to start "catching the holy ghost" in the aisles. Just be thankful he didn't start "speaking in tongues".
10 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on February 14, 2008 8:53 AM
Must be just me but I don't find any of the women in DK to be attractive.
Looks-wise, I like bitchass Robert the best.
11 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on February 14, 2008 8:56 AM
I hate to say this, but Q's name is spelled Qwanell not Quanell. No, there is no grammatical sense to this spelling, but at least there is some phonetic sense to it.
Oh and bitchass and hateration, definitely not new terms nor hard to figure out.
12 of 12 | Posted by putigger | Posted on February 24, 2008 2:33 PM