After Chris goes, Bryan and Rich soon follow but Jeff stubbornly refuses. He also takes the opportunity to let everyone know how he was totally reluctant to participate in the group and almost didn't get on the plane to come, just so he can say "I told you so" after this Man Band thing is a complete disaster. Shut up and go back to your production studio then. When you need a break, Mom prepared some ants on a log for you upstairs. Your favorite!
Katie takes off, annoyed, and tells us that she thinks Jeff is full of shit. Good call. Once she's gone, Rich quickly begins discussing her boobs, telling the others that he couldn't stop looking at them and wasn't even sure if she had a head. I took a look back and the man has a point:
Is she covertly transporting little people under there?
Back at the house, Rich shows us the insane number of medications he has to take before heading downstairs to breakfast. He runs into Jeff who has been up all night convincing himself that anyone actually gives a damn what he does. He even threatens to leave the group and Rich calmly eats his cereal and doesn't even flinch. Love him.
After the commercial, Katie shows up again to send the boys on a Native American fieldtrip to take part in a ritual about new beginnings. The guys all agree without complaint. So let me get this straight. Singing for a manager: degrading, unacceptable. 6th grade Native American field trip: last one to the teepee is a rotten egg? Wtf?
Upon arriving, the Native Americans have the guys each stand up and share their dreams and visions of who they would become. Rich says he wants to become someone who appreciates life more and is healthy. Chris says he wants to be more patient and confident, and stop dressing like Helen Keller's picking out his wardrobe.
"I came prepared in case our next bonding activity's branding cattle at the O.K. Corral"
Jeff feeds everyone a bunch of bullshit when he claims to want to put out positivity in the world. He's been exuding that so nicely this entire episode. Finally, Bryan gets teary-eyed when he says he wants to be a good father and husband, as well as set a good example this time for the fans.
We end this episode with the guys hanging out in Chris's tacky tropical jungle backyard. Chris calls out Jeff , and Jeff's task of creating drama for the opening episode is complete so now he's definitely in it for the long haul.
Chris raises his glass and elegantly toasts: "To you guys, man. To a good freakin' little stint." That was so touching I had a tear in my eye. Oh wait. Just lint, nevermind.
Previews: Bryan gets wasted! Yeeeehaw!
Thank you everyone who voted for me as a recapper -- I'm truly honored and will do my very best!
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Comments (11)
Great job LoLo!
I won't watch the show but I'll definitely look forward to your recaps!
"That was so touching I had a tear in my eye. Oh wait. Just lint, nevermind." hilarious.
1 of 11 | Posted by sweetblondie
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Posted on August 8, 2007 12:35 PM
Pretty good, LoLo. If I may make one suggestion (and this is a little nitpicky, I realize) but, well...you have A LOT of pictures going on, and not much text. Pictures are fun, but maybe you can flesh the text out a little?
Anyway, still good. As for the show...does anyone else find it so weird that a guy from Color Me Badd is there? While the other guys haven't been relevant for awhile, he hasn't been for a good 15 years. Seriously. Hire one of those girl-boys from Hanson or something.
Also, I know it's been awhile but whenever I look at Chris Kirkpatrick, I think: grown man with braces.
2 of 11 | Posted by Joe Blow
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Posted on August 8, 2007 2:38 PM
'Singing for a manager: degrading, unacceptable. 6th grade Native American field trip: last one to the teepee is a rotten egg? Wtf?'
Hah! Awesome recap, LoLo! I'm hooked. I said it before and I'll say it again, Tvgasm is back on track with a fantastic group of new recappers. Thanks for the laughs.
3 of 11 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 8, 2007 7:24 PM
LoLo,
I thought this recap was great the way it was! Don't change a thing in my opinion - as long as it's funny (as yours truly was) just keep up the great work.
"I came prepared in case our next bonding activity's branding cattle at the O.K. Corral" was the best screencap.
I can't wait to see the episode where they're booed out of the arena they were singing in (it was shown in the season preview).
4 of 11 | Posted by Krizzatch
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Posted on August 9, 2007 7:23 AM
I'll be watching the show AND reading the recaps. Great job!!
I am surprised that you didn't touch on the footage that went along with Jeff saying he spends a lot of time in his studio. That "studio" was a bunch of sound equipment at the end of a bed in a bedroom. That was some funny stuff.
Oh how I love me some bad tv!
5 of 11 | Posted by angie
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Posted on August 9, 2007 9:03 AM
I'll be watching the show AND reading the recaps. Great job!!
I am surprised that you didn't touch on the footage that went along with Jeff saying he spends a lot of time in his studio. That "studio" was a bunch of sound equipment at the end of a bed in a bedroom. That was some funny stuff.
Oh how I love me some bad tv!
6 of 11 | Posted by angie
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Posted on August 9, 2007 9:13 AM
Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your feedback -- both good and bad -- so keep it coming!
Haha Angie, I knew the studio was at his parents' house but I didn't realize it was in a bedroom! That's fantastic. I just assumed it was down in the basement, the domain of all self-respecting 30-something-year-old men living with their parents.
And Krizzatch, I too am looking forward to that episode but I'm also kind of dreading it as well... I admit I do have a soft spot for these guys (well not Jeff, he can suck it).
If anyone's interested, the group has a MySpace page where they have video blogs currently posted and I'm sure they will put their music up at some point too:
http://www.myspace.com/sureshotband
7 of 11 | Posted by LoLo
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Posted on August 9, 2007 1:13 PM
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/14557282.html
fantastic gossip about Rich Cronin
8 of 11 | Posted by elle__p
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Posted on August 11, 2007 9:04 PM
Great recap LoLo!
I caught the middle of this episode the other day and had no idea what it was about at first. I hadn't heard any hype about it beforehand which leads you to realize just how washed up these guys really are.
That Color Me Badd guy needs to give up the manicured bearage - it's just not a good look.
And I have NEVER seen the attraction of Chris Kirkpatrick. What a total tool.
I can almost understand their hesitancy to sing for the faux manager. I mean when you are already filming the reality show of your comeback it's a safe bet that you are going to have a manager with or without a singing audition.
Still - I loved that she made them grovel before her.
9 of 11 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on August 12, 2007 7:46 AM
Awesome recap. I was tearing up I was laughing so hard.
"However she conceeds that since they've sold over 40 million records amongst them, they must not be the talentless morons she took them for." More than half of that has to go to Chris (or, more accurately, Justin and JC ;) ). I mean, how many records could LFO have sold?
Here's a fun piece of pointless trivia: Rich's brother Mike managed O-Town.
Can't wait for your recap of last night's show!
10 of 11 | Posted by kristin_d_l
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Posted on August 14, 2007 1:01 PM
I did not watch this show yet, but the recap is hilarious! I remember Chris from N*Sync and those hideous braids he used to have. Thank God he got rid of them.
Best part of the recap was the "I know he said Chinese food makes him sick, I didn't realize it gave him cancer" comment. I may go to hell for it, but I laughed for a good five minutes.
11 of 11 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on August 15, 2007 8:48 AM