Trying waaaay too hard to look 25
Sorry about the late recap, guys. I just moved into a new place and it's been a crazy few days. I know you all have all been dying to know what happened on Mission: Man Band this week and in a nutshell the answer is: nothing! They practiced a song we never really got to hear, Chris lorded over Boozey about drinking, they went on a photo shoot, named themselves, and showed up at the Magic game for sound check. Enthralling. For those of you that want the gory details (or really hate your job), meet me after the jump!
This week, the boys are preparing for the Orlando Magic halftime show, which is only two days away. Their producer, Bryan Michael Cox, shows up to play them the demo of their new song, which he evidently swiped from Britney's reject pile. It's a fast track and way over-processed, but I guess a step up from the standard cheesy boy band comeback song (see: "What's Left of Me", "Incomplete"). We never hear the name of the song, but Cox hopes it will spawn a new catchphrase: "Work it out." Yes, that's a phrase that none of us have heard or used. Since the late nineties.
They go into Chris's production studio and listen to the track. Rich loves it, and flails around a little in appreciation. Boozey Bryan sings along, and Jeff tells us that in his vast experience as a highly successful music producer with his own studio in his parents' house, he knows a hit when he first hears it. Chris just says "it's cool" in a snotty, noncommittal voice. Cox does a dance of his own, and then it's Boozey's turn. He spins around a few times and then feints a slide to the left. It's all pretty embarrassing.
Chris calls the look on his face "flabbergasted" rather than its accurate description of "condescending and derisive" and tells us he made the face because Boozey had alcohol on his breath, the same day as Chris's benevolent intervention. Rich then tells us that it was obvious Boozey was drunk or heavily buzzed, and his drinking could be a serious problem or ruin the project because he might have to drop out. While I understand that alcoholism is a serious issue, this is all taking place the same day as the last episode, so it's not like Boozey's been doing daily daytime drinking (wheeee alliteration!).
Chris drags Boozey outside to stage another dramatic intervention. I'm sure he thinks this is making him look like the good guy, but really he's coming off like a pompous ass. Boozey, who is pretty sloppy at this point, pouts and claims he wasn't drinking and Chris hisses you are drinking, BRO. Chris tells him that his "eyebrows are going to melt right now" and that Boozey "smells like he just used Jack Daniels mouthwash." Does Chris think alcohol melts hair away? I would be so bald if that were true. As for his mouthwash comment, Jack Daniels should really look into that. They already make Jack Daniels glaze at TGI Fridays- why not expand? Jack Daniels mouthwash, Jack Daniels Jolly Ranchers, Jack Daniels cottage cheese... the possibilities are endless.
Boozey defends himself by saying that he's not gone and not intoxicated, and that this will never happen again. Chris lectures him that he's killing himself, and that Boozey's going to be drunk his whole life, BRO. Boozey says he's not drinking every day, and Chris jumps in to point out that Boozey's drank on half of the days they've been there, for a grand total of 2. What Chris fails to mention is that one of those days was the day of the PARTY that CHRIS threw knowing Boozey was a recovering ADDICT. Chris then calls Boozey an alcoholic (actually he's a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings), and insists that Boozey apologize to Rich and Jeff.
Inside, Rich tells Jeff that he knew Boozey had been drinking, since he hadn't even bothered to hide it with gum or anything. Jeff replies that this drinking isn't going to stop, and he doesn't know what to do about it since this is outside the area of his expertise as a big-time music producer.
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Comments (6)
Good job, LoLo!
This show is so dumb, but since I loved Color Me Badd so much(!!) that I have to watch Boozey in all his glory.
Chris is a jerk. He's trying to make himself look like the "good guy" by helping out Boozey with is alcohol consumption, but he just seems really condescending and rude about the whole thing.
Also, I just want to say that as much as they are looking to get away from the "BOY BAND" stereotype (woh what a cool band name) that they are not trying to SOUND different. That piece-o-crap song they were singing sounded exactly like the b-side of "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You"....
1 of 6 | Posted by Krizzatch
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Posted on August 24, 2007 9:21 AM
Good recap! I don't watch this show, but for me, you and ChickBomb are the only good writers left on TvGasm!
2 of 6 | Posted by Joe Blow
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Posted on August 24, 2007 10:08 AM
LoLo, thanks for the great recap. I also don't watch this show but I'm positive your recaps are more entertaining than the actual visual experience.
3 of 6 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 24, 2007 3:54 PM
Great recap, LoLo! I can't beliebe I watch this show, I never was a boy-band fan. But I do remember that Donna from 90210 was a Color Me Badd fan, so they can't be all bad.
4 of 6 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on August 24, 2007 6:48 PM
Great recap, LoLo! I can't believe I watch this show, I never was a boy-band fan. But I do remember that Donna from 90210 was a Color Me Badd fan, so they can't be all bad.
5 of 6 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on August 24, 2007 6:49 PM
God Chris really sucks, I thought he was extremely condescending to Bryan and he should've just punched him for being so annoying. So far I think I like Rich and that's a bit of a stretch. Can't wait to see if they get booed which they probably will.
6 of 6 | Posted by MichyPR
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Posted on August 25, 2007 12:32 AM