Imagine my surprise when I got to the end of Maui Fever and saw that it was created by none other than Morgan J. Freeman. Yes, this claptrap, wannabe-Laguna piece of fluff had an Oscar winner's stamp of approval, and I couldn't be more surprised. Of course, there was no way that this could ever be possible, and the placement of that nefarious "J." in the middle of his name led me to believe we had a faker in our midst. Turns out Morgan J. Freeman is merely a TV director who's possibly most famous for his work on Dawson's Creek. Nevertheless, that's not going to stop me from renaming this show the entirely more amusing title of Morgan Freeman's Maui Fever. Has a nice ring to it, yes?
Anyway, I skipped the first episode of Morgan Freeman's Maui Fever because honestly, it looked entirely too vapid for me. Several emails and comments later from incensed readers made me realize that because it was so vapid, I should give a looksie. So that's what I did. I watched the first two episodes, and while the scenery was beautiful, I couldn't help wondering one thing. Well, I couldn't help wondering many things. But mainly, I couldn't help wondering how a show that takes place in Maui couldn't have one indigenous Hawaiian in its cast. Seriously, they're all white. Granted, that guy Corbin might have some mixed blood (and maybe that goes for Anthony too), but it's really a stretch. Congratulations, MTV. I'm sure the entire Hawaiian community applauds your representative talent pool.
By the way, before I say any more, I must write a disclaimer. If I say anything that's disrespectful to Hawaiian culture, well, a) sorry, and b) spare me the email. I only say this because one time at Dartmouth, a fraternity had a luau party, and one kid (who I won't identify... but his name rhymes with Sharon Shakamu) cried racism because this was supposedly a desecration of a traditional Hawaiian event. The party had to be canceled, apologies had to be made. I guess there's no point to this. I just wanted to share a story of political correctness gone amuck because that's far more interesting than anything that happened last night on Maui Fever.
The show opened up with our narrator, Cheyne (think Johnny Bananas with puffier, blonder hair) telling us, "Are Anthony and Chaunte really back together?" I WONDER!!!
A little context: Chaunte and Anthony used to date, but then they broke up, which was fine, but poor Anthony was still hung up on Chaunte -- despite the fact that she looked like a squat Jessica Biel with a bad bleach job. Anyway, the two still hung out and chatted and "did stuff" at each other's houses, and this did nothing but confuse Anthony. On the season premiere, it looked like he had finally moved on -- being with her was just too damn painful, as you can imagine -- but by the end of the episode, they were kissing again. Oh, Anthony and Chaunte. Will you never learn?
Anyway, we found Cheyne and the Boyz hanging out, talking about how bummed they were that Anthony wasn't around as much anymore. He was too busy with Chaunte discussing the merits of Keynesian economics and global marketplaces, clearly. Resident Rhodes Scholar Corbin chirped up that Sean (the goofy guy with the early-onset crows feet) should steal Chaunte away from Anthony so that they'd be able to see him more often. Not a problem, Sean said. "I'd probably wax it," he boasted, adding, "Is it bad if my sun tan is darker than a Hershey bar?"
After the opening credits, we then went to some restaurant called Leilani's where it turned out Sean was a waiter and Chaunte and her friend Anna were hostesses. If this contrivance wasn't hard enough to swallow, we then watched as Sean gave some patron a note to deliver to Chaunte. And as we all know, restaurant goers love participating in middle-school flirtations. Nevertheless, the guy agreed to pass on the note (probably because he was a grip on the production staff). Chaunte opened this secret missive and smiled. "Paraty up-country tonight?" it asked. Shockingly, Chaunte wrote a response and asked the diner to return the note to Sean. Why was the patron even hanging around anymore? Did he actually care to see Chaunte's response? I'd have been out of there five seconds ago.
Anyway, the guy returned to Sean with the note, which had the fresh addendum, "Sounds good," written on it. By the way, let's give props to Chaunte and Sean for successfully spelling all their tough words. An epistolary landmark!
"Hey there, ladies! It's me, Sean!"
« America's Next Top TVgasm Writer Update! | Main | Recap: Friday Night Lights: Say No To Drugs, Say Yes To Fabulous Neckwear »
Comments (35)
Thanks B-side for deciding to recap Maui Fever! yes this show is truly awful, but oh so entertaining. Especially Cheyne calling Chaunte and Anna the hottest girls on the island, maybe Anna but definitely not Chaunte!! I've been to Maui a few times and have to say that the area that they are in (Lahaina) is predominantly white. That being said I can't wait for more ridiculous drama!!!
1 of 35 | Posted by J-Light
|
Posted on January 26, 2007 6:32 PM
B-side No Ka Oi.
Chaunte makes me want to hurl poi.
hb
2 of 35 | Posted by HoneyBunny
|
Posted on January 26, 2007 6:42 PM
what is the name of the unattractive-redhead surfer teen who suffers from chronic chapped lips? (i believe he 'dated' anna). WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? HOW OLD ARE THEY? it is unhealthy for young people to watch such a vapid representation of their age group.
3 of 35 | Posted by nursecoco
|
Posted on January 26, 2007 7:21 PM
We then cut to an image of Chaunte slouched over in a chair, looking like a toad in a blond wig. Sexy, brah!
Best line ever. EVER!
4 of 35 | Posted by goldlion55
|
Posted on January 26, 2007 7:48 PM
These people are worthless. When that guy Corbin walks down the beach he reminds me of a bloated penguin. UGH
5 of 35 | Posted by Karen
|
Posted on January 26, 2007 8:01 PM
I'm glad that you've taken on Maui Fever, B-side. I feel that it may turn out to be an 8th & Ocean-esque guilty pleasure.
I agree that the editing truly sucks...everything juicy seems to happen between commercial breaks. Then we get to see the kids waxing nostalgic about the previous night's events. (I think I spotted some continuity high jinks with Anna and Chaunte.)
Also, the producers really need introduce some girls for Chaunte and Anna to hate that aren't just random midwestern sluts. Can Kyndra and Cami come to Maui for a 2-week vacation? Please??
The lack of chicks makes it a total brah-fest, but at least these sex & surf-obsessed dudes seem a less grating bunch than the L.A. nouveau riche slezeballs of twentyfourseven (did that get cancelled?).
Sure, Corbin and Sean are repulsive, but Anthony and Jesse manage to exude a charming-yet-bland naivete. They're the male Tessa & Rocky.
6 of 35 | Posted by shank
|
Posted on January 26, 2007 9:32 PM
Chapped-lipped red-head is Cheyne. He is the main character I guess... although I have a feeling this will turn into the Chaunte Show.
These name spellings are wacky.
I'm glad B-Side pointed out the fact that there are pretty much only white folks on the show. I've been to Hawaii. Sure, there are plenty of white people, but the best things about the islands -- aside from the weather and scenery -- is the fact that it's diverse in a way the rest of the country isn't. I read Morgan (J.) Freeman couldn't find any non-white people who were already friends, who'd be willing to have the intimate moments of their lives taped. I wonder how many people were approached...
To those who chose not to appear on the show, I say wise decision! It is truly the pinnacle of stupidity.
Also... how old are these people? They go to bars, but they have no real responsibilities and look about the same age as the Laguna Beach kids.
I'm annoyed.
7 of 35 | Posted by IHeartTV
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 3:07 AM
Cheyne is so repulsive. His entire face and hair are all the same color. And you are right about his chronically chapped lips, when his gf was kissing him I dry heaved thinking about kissing those nasty things. Chante reminds me of a white lil'kim. Anthony and Jesse are so monotone and boring. None of these people can even attempt to act normal in front of a camera. And I think Anna is the only attractive one of the bunch.
With all that said, thank you B-side for recapping this show. I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't vent my frustrations on tvgasm. :)
8 of 35 | Posted by g-child
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 10:47 AM
didn't watch the show, but for some strange reason i believe that chaunte is a slutty troll.
9 of 35 | Posted by nurseratched
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 5:01 PM
Thank you, B-Side, for recapping Maui Fever!! It is truly a guilty pleasure of mine, better accompanied by your recaps!! :o)
Chaunte as toad in a blonde wig-- I burst out laughing!
10 of 35 | Posted by sunshine858619
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 6:22 PM
Is it just me, or does Sean bear a striking resemblence to Dan Marino?
Whenever that Cheyne guy comes on screen I am immediately reminded of the dangers of sun cancer...he looks like he's in some serious danger, being a perpetually tan ginger and all.
11 of 35 | Posted by Emilita33
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 6:52 PM
Emilita33 -- YES! I was going to mention that, and I forgot!
12 of 35 | Posted by B-Side
|
Posted on January 27, 2007 8:10 PM
I know she's a hoebag, but Chaunte is really really hot. Way better than Anna.
Anyways, I hope there are more Maui Fever recaps to come.
13 of 35 | Posted by kevintheomanharris
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 7:04 AM
This has got to be the worst show MTV has ever put on.
I'm still laughing about the toad in the blonde wig comment. So true. The girl has no neck.
What's up with the way Corbin walks? Does he have something up his ass or what?
I can't believe these people exist.
14 of 35 | Posted by dsher
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 7:32 AM
OK, Corbin is probably the worst character on television. The only thing worse than hearing him talk is that horrible way he looks into the camera during his part of the intro. UGGGGH.
Anna and that Jesse kid are the only attractive ones (and are both pretty hot), but SERIOUSLY, howe old are these kids??
And Sean does look like Dan Marino... good call.
15 of 35 | Posted by KermitGirl22
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 8:33 AM
OK, Corbin is probably the worst character on television, ever. The only thing worse than hearing him talk is that horrible way he looks into the camera during his part of the intro. UGGGGH.
Anna and that Jesse kid are the only attractive ones (and are both pretty hot), but SERIOUSLY, howe old are these kids??
And Sean does look like Dan Marino... good call.
16 of 35 | Posted by KermitGirl22
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 8:34 AM
I can't believe no one mention the ever-presence of Corbin's ass crack. Swim trunks have drawstrings for a reason, brah.
17 of 35 | Posted by aclikeslater
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 11:23 AM
One thing I found weird was how at the end of the episode, Chante is begging Anthony to pick her up out of the water, and when he does you see she has one a skimpy little thong bikini. I found that odd... maybe she's hoping for a future after this show and trying to milk it for all its worth.
18 of 35 | Posted by Ash
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 2:45 PM
Chaunte is more like a squat Nikki Hilton.
And is Corbin a paid actor? Does anyone else feel like he's trying too hard to be on this show? I wonder if he really IS 40.. because he looks like he's well beyond his "peers" and is just trying to relive the golden years.
19 of 35 | Posted by IJustWatch
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 3:38 PM
"Also, the producers really need introduce some girls for Chaunte and Anna to hate that aren't just random midwestern sluts. Can Kyndra and Cami come to Maui for a 2-week vacation?"
HAHA - that's a hilarious idea! I'll admit, I've only seen bits and pieces but this show looks lame. I'd rather spend my time watching the hills and dancelife.
20 of 35 | Posted by Audge
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 3:56 PM
So I live in Hawaii and I can tell you that these kids do not represent the local kids (especially on one of the outer islands) at all, but also they really don't represent the average white kid that lives here either. And I wish they'd stop trying to act like they're local by attempting to speak pidgin. They are embarassing themselves. I mean please, they use very common phrases that anyone watching Dog the Bounty Hunter can pick up.
Shit, Cartman sounded more local when he was the hall monitor. "You know what this is? This is bear mace, brah!"
21 of 35 | Posted by gretcheepoo
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 4:40 PM
Holy Shit.
Everything I ever said about the guys on "Twenty Four Seven" being the biggest douchebags on the face of there Earth is hereby taken back, and the award now goes to the people on MAUI FEVER.
I don't even know where to begin with these idiots:
1. I cringed at every scene with Corbin. Especially his ass crack, and the way he walked. My lower back hurt just from watching that!
2. I cringed at every scene with Cheyne. He's got the looks and personality of a homeless hippie loser. Tom Hanks in "Castaway" looked better than he does.
3. Anthony..yes he is oh so hot with his peach fuzz moustache.
4. From the first episode, the girls singing "Santeria" at the party. My ears are still bleeding and I am sure Bradley Nowell is rolling over in his grave after that rendition.
by the way, did twentyfourseven get cancelled? I have never heard of MTV cancelling a show after only 3 airings. There's always an audience out there in MTV/TVGASM land!
22 of 35 | Posted by anniedawg25
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 6:50 PM
Legal action is the best way to stop Maui Fever. Ask lawyers you know if they would file suit. If they are pissed off enough, they might do it for free. Possible grounds are:
(1) Defamation. You could argue that the film is defamatory to the character of Hawaii's people.
(2) False Light. You could argue that this show paints a deliberately false picture of Hawaii.
(3) Hate Speech. This show constitutes racially-based slurs. It is not protected by the First Amendment.
(4) Negligence. If this show causes damage to the economy of Hawaii, or increases costs such as police costs to control any violence that can be attributed to this show, the state may be able to recover, due to the negligence of Viacomm.
(5) Fraud. Viacomm misrepresented the show when it applied to Maui to make it there.
23 of 35 | Posted by david
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 7:37 PM
WORST SHOW EVER. Im done with it and I wish MTV would stop replaying it. Ok bed time. Oh ya Corbin needs a laxative. Get it out man!
24 of 35 | Posted by ILUVMTV
|
Posted on January 28, 2007 10:24 PM
http://www.acidlogic.com/haole_survival_guide.htm
The above is a great article.
25 of 35 | Posted by david
|
Posted on January 29, 2007 11:21 AM
When Corbin turned his head towards the camera and stuck his tongue out, I thought yep, not the only thing short and stubby I bet!
Cheyne should stay out of the water, I hear salt is bad for slugs.
26 of 35 | Posted by RedRainbow
|
Posted on January 29, 2007 12:20 PM
Yes, TwentyFourSeven did get canceled, they are playing the rest of the episodes on overdrive or something.
27 of 35 | Posted by G
|
Posted on January 30, 2007 1:45 PM
B-side,
A belated comment since I have been waiting for you to recap (and appropriately roast) the next few episodes.
True, this show does walk the line of being nearly unwatchable, but it is like a bad car crash - I can't seem to look away. There is too much fodder for your poison word-darts so please don't give up on reviewing it!
Cheyne's fever blister on his lip,... Chaunte's unearned arrogance and dimpled sneer.... It's just a matter of time before she is working as a stripper in the proverbial Scores of Maui.....
Corbin's shuffling gait that reveals more and more butt crack with each step and his unending yucking-it-up giggle about all the crazy antics that did and probably did not happen.....
Irresistable, isn't it? I'm looking forward to your next scathing review!
28 of 35 | Posted by lovedoctor
|
Posted on February 11, 2007 10:33 PM
Yes B-Side, PLEASE KEEP RECAPPING MAUI FEVER!!!!!!!!!!
29 of 35 | Posted by Rock Star
|
Posted on February 13, 2007 11:00 AM
i need more recaps b-side.
lol.
please!!
30 of 35 | Posted by tAsHiEz
|
Posted on February 13, 2007 5:44 PM
did this cancel this already...havent heard anything in awhile...the show is sooo bad that I must watch.
31 of 35 | Posted by ILUVMTV
|
Posted on February 23, 2007 8:43 AM
more maui recaps please! why did you stop?
32 of 35 | Posted by cantstopwatching
|
Posted on February 23, 2007 11:17 AM
so bad=i must watch it. there is a reason we watch these shows...i happen to think maui fever is hysterical because it reminds me of myself at their age. they are having a good time, bad jobs, bad furniture, a little booze and some action now and again. who cares if they are white? it's completely hypocritical to act otherwise. can you imagine everyone up in arms over a non white cast in missoula? it's about having a good time and being 20 years old.
33 of 35 | Posted by Joe
|
Posted on March 1, 2007 7:52 AM
I love Maui Fever - it's not a "good" show but it's very entertaining and it has Anthony, the kid is hot! I could stare at him all day. See how pretty he looks in that picture *sigh* I wish I were young and living in... where is it that they live again?
34 of 35 | Posted by mieuox
|
Posted on March 8, 2007 1:27 PM
This is a make believe view of hawaii, Im Hapa Houlie, at least put some hawaiians in da mix. Make the next show about da westside of oahu. And law down some cheesy jawaiian jams!!!
35 of 35 | Posted by Keo- Joe Hughes | Posted on September 28, 2007 6:46 PM