This week, we get some stellar half naked Punisher moments. It almost makes having to look at Pervy's questionable clothing choices bearable.
We have gifts galore waiting for us and the show really only focuses on a few of the guys. I'd like to focus on one of my girls for a moment, if I may.
You all know that I believe that Lily is the HBIC of all reality shows. Well, I just lost one of mine. Our beloved Trillian passed away while we were in Colorado for a wedding (which got robbed by a guy in drag, no lie!) and we all miss her very much. She had more class in one of her hairy little paws than Megan could hope to achieve in a lifetime of dog years, and that's saying a lot since I'm pretty sure that she can look forward to many, many of those.
Geez, I miss her. Okay, on with the snark!
It seems that Megan has absolutely no intention of allowing any of her suitor's fortunes to dwindle so they've set up a business room where the guys can get on their laptops and phones and keep their money growing. They are going to need it.
Pass me the smelling salts, I lost consciousness for a moment there, but I regained it just in time to see this!
I wish.
Most of the guys sound professional. All except for one. Can you guess who that might be? It's Pervy, of course. He's nasty and mean to whomever he's speaking, and it sounds like he threatened somebody. So much for being a good hearted blue collar guy. Is there anything, anything at all redeeming about this guy? It sure doesn't seem like it.
After they are done making sure that Megan will be kept in the manner she is accustomed, it is challenge time. Rose Nyland's slutty niece has a favorite holiday and we all know it ain't Labor Day, so what is it? Valentine's Day, of course, for the gifts (mandatory) and the love (optional).
They must come up with a fitting tribute and they can use anything they want, including this table loaded with sparkly, colorful junk. It is a ten year old Twunty's dream come to life. Not so much the modern day Twunty, though.
Pervy licks his lips at the opportunity this affords him. Gross. Did you see that? Sometimes when someone licks their lips it's sexy. When he does it, I turn into a little girl who needs to run and hide in the nearest cupboard to escape her inappropriate uncle. I seriously don't know how much more of him I can stand. Are you with me here, Gasmii? I can't be the only one.
The guys attack the table like Miley attacking a stripper pole and we're off. The Latin Lover is cooking something, Wierd Al gets out his checkbook and Big Mike gets on the phone. I was hoping that he was calling "Tiny" so he could whack Pervy but it turns out that he has friends in the fashion industry and is going to hook Megan up with something fabulous. Not fair, God, not fair.
Tablecloth Shaun tells T.J. that he wants to get naked and have Megan eat sushi off of his Southern Gentleman's hiney. Say what? Did I miss the part in Gone With the Wind where Rhett Butler put raw fish on his manly chest for Scarlett to go apeshit over? Oh, shoot. I must have been in the cupboard during that part of the movie.
T.J. very nicely tries to talk him out of it, but Tablecloth is sticking with his whole picnic theme and is literally going to become the tablecloth. Oh, the irony. Meh.
Back to Pervy. He is going to perform a song for Megan that is two whole years in the making. It sounds like a cheap rip-off of "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.
He performs it for Punisher who mistakes the title of the song as "Sex Bone." Is your mind going where my mind is going? I bet it is, and we shall see in just a little bit.
« Big Brother: Adventures in the Audience: Flipit Goes to Big Brother | Main | Big Brother: Best Not Live Eviction EVAH!! »
Comments (15)
So sorry for your loss, which I am sure was compounded by the fact that you could not be with her. Losing your best friend sucks.
1 of 15 | Posted by messystation | Posted on August 14, 2009 2:53 AM
I'm so sorry about your dog. Pets are part of the family and I know how horrible it is when they are gone. You're in my thoughts.
2 of 15 | Posted by ohionancy | Posted on August 14, 2009 6:26 AM
Oh ... I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, there are few things worse. Well, having to watch this drudge on top of all of that just might do it!
I'm going to take my two for a walk now, just because. Definitely in my thoughts.
AND ... "Just a few BJs for Mr. McSlore and voila! Fine joooorey. Shhhhh, don't tell him I said that. Not cool. I can trust you, right?"
FUNNIEST THING ALL DAY!
3 of 15 | Posted by chelle | Posted on August 14, 2009 10:26 AM
Sorry for losing your "baby bear" Twunty. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I don't watch the show but I love your recaps...great job!
4 of 15 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on August 14, 2009 12:33 PM
When the gal keeps an obvious flamer over your sorry ass, it's probably time to have a look in the mirror. Or get yourself on The Pickup Artist. Jeez, what a douche.
Megan should definitely choose Gay Joe -- he probably needs a beard in order to keep his trust fund (betcha there's a clause in there) -- and she needs the freedom to be her....ick.
The other gay guy (Double-O-Dork) would make a good choice too.
Although my favorite so far is the Jersey thug.
Weird show, this one. On the one hand, it's pretty obvious that Megan got this show only because of the fight with Sharon Osbourne. On the other hand, it's pretty clear the producers stocked the show full of losers and douchebags in revenge.
Still, Megan is weirdly fascinating -- she's obviously pretty smart, and plays a great character. With a plateface and spaghetti limbs.
5 of 15 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 14, 2009 10:27 PM
I just wanted to say im so sorry for your lose - I understand its like losing your best friend and family member - i just lost my beloved kitty (sneakers) suddenly at the young age of 7 three weeks ago and im still bursting into crying fits out of the blue :(
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
oh and tyvm for the wonderful recap - full of snark and humor! how do you do it? you amaze me!
xo
rebecca
6 of 15 | Posted by Rebeccam1968@yahoo.com | Posted on August 15, 2009 1:23 PM
Twunty, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. She was adorable - that face!
Loved the recap. So glad Pervy is gone - that dude made my skin crawl.
Yet again, you have caused me to start watching a show I swore I was not going to watch. I'd say thank you but I think we both know that would be a LIE. ;P
SWAK, PottyMouth
7 of 15 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on August 16, 2009 5:41 AM
Thanks for all the kind words, everybody.
The 2 year old puppy we have remaining is really lonely. If you know of any border collie mix dogs in the Northeast Ohio area, let me know. We're looking to adopt another sister for her.
She must like other dogs and kids. Being able to balance a tray of martini glasses on her head is a plus.
Thanks!
Twunty
8 of 15 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on August 16, 2009 12:28 PM
OMG **BREAKING NEWS**
I just read on TMZ that "Candadian Bacon" is wanted for MURDER! He allegedly killed a Playboy model and dumped her body in a dumpster!!
It won't let me post the link but here's the story
www.tmz.com/2009/08/18/reality-star-on-the-run-in-model-murder/
9 of 15 | Posted by mariabird522 | Posted on August 18, 2009 5:24 PM
Holy Uber-Douche, mariabird! I went to TMZ and read the reports, I also read some info on the Orange County register. I guess the girl was teenie tiny, so small that she could be stuffed into a suitcase.
What a strange turn of events. Do you think that they'll cancel the show? Ha! We should be so lucky.
The ratings will no doubt go through the roof now.
10 of 15 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on August 19, 2009 4:57 AM
oooo i just read about the canadian guy too, freaky!
i just wanted to say i have never cringed as hard as i did when pervey was doing his song, the second time when he tried to do it slow was even worse!..you could see in megan's pancake she was like WTF-weirdo!
11 of 15 | Posted by loves2play05 | Posted on August 19, 2009 10:11 AM
Well twunty...looks like you got your wish!! Here's VH1's official statement:
"Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on 'Megan Wants A Millionaire', an outside production, produced and owned by 51 Minds, that is licensed to VH1. The show completed production at the end of March. Given the unfortunate circumstances, VH1 has postponed any future airings. This is a tragic situation and our thoughts go out to the victim's family.
Don't they screen these people?! I read that this guy had a definite past with domestic violence. Dare I say, could this we be the END of VH1's "I Love" series?!
12 of 15 | Posted by mariabird522 | Posted on August 19, 2009 7:11 PM
I am amazed that they are going to postpone the show due to this incident. I half expected them to run a PR blitz with this information. I am suprized that VH1 made this decision....
Kris
13 of 15 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on August 20, 2009 8:05 AM
I'm starting to scare myself because I'm actually interested in how this is all unfolding.
Apparently, Bacon is now a fugitive back in his homeland of Canada. And..rumor has it that immediately following his departure from Megan Loves Money, he married this girl, and then went to Mexico to film I Love Money 3. So I guess VH1 will have to pull that one too???
I need some sort of software to block TMZ.com on my computer. I also need to get a life :)
14 of 15 | Posted by mariabird522 | Posted on August 20, 2009 9:08 AM
I love I LOVE MONEY. Is there any additional info on season 3?
Kris
15 of 15 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on August 20, 2009 9:41 AM