"Ummm... I wish... we weren't both anorexic?"

Cru & Whoren's apt. Cru-Ella, in bra and panties, selects an outfit from her super-hot wardrobe and shoe collection as another saucy song by Kesha plays. Dr Whoren pops in with a birthday cupcake for her and tells Cru to make a wish. Cru doesn't do "the wishing thing"-- when Cru wants something, she just takes it. Cru is pleased when Whoren tells her W will do everything in her power to attend Cru's b-day party, even if it means showing up in "scrubs and booties".

MP courtyard. Junoh & Bad Pitt enter from a round of hoops, cuz they're, like, regular dudes. Cru approaches and makes a funny about Junoh being too busy "auditioning for an Old Spice commercial" to RSVP for her party. No, you didn't miss Junoh trying to become an actor (which would make sense since he's the only guy on the show besides recurring he-men Thomas Calabro & Nick Gonzalez who can act)-- Cru is making a joke referencing a popular men's cologne of the 70's. Cuz she's, you know, 58. Junoh confirms he and fiancee Smiley will be coming. Didn't Smiley tell Cru? "No text no tweet no call," Cru says, pointing out that Smiley hates her. BP says he's in and Cru will love his gift. Angrie enters from surfing in an unzipped wet suit revealing his muscular stomach, sculpted pecs and treasure-trail. BP makes a pissy face and exits to shower, since he and Angrie are on the outs after BP attacked Sinister Asian at Angrie's restaurant.

Cru wants to know if Angrie got her rezzies at Coal, the uber-trendy nightspot and eatery. Yes, a block of best tables. Cru is pleased, especially when Angrie mentions that his prickish boss, Chef-lebrity Roccello is in NY, allowing Angrie to ply Cru and her guests with gourmet freebies. Ashlee Simpson appears in her daisy dukes and says she used her hostess clout to order the doorman to let all of Cru's pals in. Too bad AS is getting paid shit. Never fear, Cru tells her. Their late landlady Sydney taught Cru "there's always room to move up". Cue FLASHBACK:

One juicy wet tow job coming right up!

Beverly Hills street. Cru emerges from a store to find a parking ticket on her windshield and her junky car being booted by a staggeringly guapo Tow-Truck Driver. He's disabling her vehicle because of unpaid tickets. Cru freaks out, squawking that she just moved here from Denver and thought she had a year to take care of them. Sorry, sweets, you're fucked! Cru pretends to burst into tears and feeds the concerned driver a phony sob story about having to drive her severely injured sister to physical therapy. Sydney appears and watches with a sly smile as the hunk gives Cru a break and removes the boot.

Syd says bravo and Cru tells her she recognizes her from the PR company where Cru works as a gofer. Syd says the company just dropped her as a client for being too "high-maintenance", then predicts that Cru won't be a peon for long, based on her masterful manipulation of the tow-truck stud. But first Cru has to "find a sense of style"-- her hair and nails and everything else are all wrong. She'll bring Cru to her salon and take her shopping. Cru wonders if Syd is a good samaritan, or a predatory lesbian, but Syd says Cru can repay her by publicizing Syd's art gallery.
Out of FB: Cru advises Ashlee Simpson to figure out what AS wants, then go for it. If Cru hadn't learned that, she'd still be living in Van Nuys and driving a hatchback.

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Posted in Melrose Place by Leia LaBiblia at 3:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Last Comment: leia labiblia on Oct 20, 2009 07:54 PM.