So, Gasmii . . . it's getting a bit better, no? Nothing like fellatio and a little fake pregnancy to get me interested. Right now, my hopes are pinned on Lina and Ari to keep us going. Without them, it's just Hardy not marrying, MC not dating, Kat not not-working and Maria not parenting, and I'm going to need a lot more than that to keep me awake every Tuesday at 10.
Kat and her intern, little sister Camille, pull up to a client's house. The owner is Edmundo and they're trying to convince him to sell his home because Kat has a buyer. Ed looks like a young Spanish Nick Nolte (before he went crazy) and talks kind of like Andre the Giant with a Desi Arnaz accent.
He doesn't want to sell the house because he and his wife, a Kat look-alike, are very comfortable. Kat tells him he should only become attached to his wife and kids, not real estate. Um, those who can't do, teach? So even though Ed doesn't want to sell this house, he'll consider it for top dollar - $7.9M. Then he suggests that Kat push his other house on the buyer and they take off in Ed's boat to visit it. Kat is wearing some sort of couture straight jacket, a pencil skirt and stilettos - perfect boat attire. Of course, while on the boat, we get another person's opinion of Kat's overworked lifestyle. If I'm annoyed by all of this, I can't imagine how she deals with it.
Ed gives Kat all of the many reasons that she should push this second house on the buyer and Kat ignores him. She loves to work and she's passionate about it. It sounds like her ad for a video dating service.
MC and Maria are out for dinner and only MC is allowed to talk. He toasts to Maria's daughter being away at school and to bringing out Kat's inner whore. Except that Maria still has no idea who this Kat person is so I can't imagine she'd care about her, much less her inner anything. MC is boring himself so he calls Kat and George to find out where they are. Kat sends him straight to voicemail and George is too dumb not to answer the phone.
George says he's with his girlfriend which confuses Maria who thought they broke up. George says that they're working on things. And by working on things, he means screaming and beating the crap out of each other. Since George is not permitted to speak on the phone alone, Lina chimes in that she almost killed George and knows all about his hang out last weekend with the Lina look-alike. Refusing to miss any drama, MC and Maria invite themselves to Casa Crazy after dinner.
Maria is then permitted to talk but only because she's about to share salacious gossip. Apparently, Maria was at George's apartment over the weekend and he was half-naked and in bed with Jazmin, the Lina look-alike. MC does not question why George would invite Maria to his home while half-naked with a new lady friend but merely declares George needy. George insisted he didn't sleep with Jaz but MC and Maria are appalled he would even be in the same bed as her on the same night he broke up with Lina. What ever happened to the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else?
Sorah is webcamming with Gonzo. Because of the crappy connection, he gets the same stop-motion treatment as Hardy. Is it just me or does this guy look like Bert?
Sorah calls him Bobo or Momo or Homo - it's hard to hear - and there's some cute back and forth about how they miss each other. Bert wants to know what Sorah is wearing and she is gracious enough to stand up and focus the webcam on her crotch. Bert responds by pulling his lips out and back like he's having clay molds of his teeth made and says "just for you." I don't want to know what kind of sex games these two play if this is the face that's supposed to turn her on.
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Comments (4)
Tiny Elvis,
These people are VILE.
V. Vapid
I. Idiotic
L. Loose
and E. Egotistical
I was in Miami Beach a couple of years ago and was blown away by how it got taken over by Eastern Europeans and EuroTrash. I had no idea how bad it truly is.
P.S. I think that George secretly goes both ways. Just a hunch.
Big kiss
Twunty
1 of 4 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on July 30, 2009 8:54 AM
I can't believe that Kat and Ben lasted 13 years, they are always throwing cheap shots at one another. Who is she kidding with her passive aggressive B.S.? "You met strippers, I don't care," yeah I used that "I don't care" line on my exboyfriend all the time before going home and crying myself to sleep. Anyways, good job on recapping this trainwreck.
2 of 4 | Posted by Nimabu | Posted on July 30, 2009 9:08 AM
This is one of the funniest recaps I've read. GREAT job - I laughed out loud at all the Kat comments ("While. You. Were. At. The. Other. House.")
I wish more people were commenting. As bad as this show is you have some great material to work with...
3 of 4 | Posted by KermitGirl22 | Posted on July 31, 2009 7:05 PM
Twunty: Both ways? Entirely possible. As I said, I think the dude is carting a vag so I wouldn't be surprised.
Nimabu and Kermit: Thanks for the support! I do have high hopes for the show though - this week seems to be a huge improvement over the first two. Here's hoping . . .
4 of 4 | Posted by TinyElvis | Posted on August 1, 2009 10:37 AM