Anyway, Gummi Bear comes in, looking like complete crap. Ugh, it's like a douchebag conference. DoucheFest '08. Trust Fund says that Dr. Sam is his dentist. Gummi Bear asks if Dr. Sam has nitrous, and Trust Fund says, "He has everything. He's great." I knew it! Dr. Sam voiceovers that Josh (Trust Fund) is "a genius when it comes to real estate," but it's when "he's with his friends that you realize he's only 21." Trust Fund comes up with the great idea to pretend that he died. Why just pretend, Trust Fund? So, he's going to have a funeral with - swear to god - "horses, and fireworks, and everything you can imagine!" And puppies and funnel cakes and a carousel and ponies and a magician and a bounce room and pizza and chocolate cake and ice cream! Everything but dignity, apparently. And maturity. "And then we'll see who our real friends are." Hating Trust Fund. Is everything.
Chad talks to Jonathan about his condo, telling him to counter the offer. Jonathan won't do it. He says that he'll wait for another offer or take it off the market. He's being a bit stubborn. Come on, it's in a dicey neighborhood! The Ivy is like 2 miles away! Shudder.
Back to Madison, who is sleeping in bed, shirtless. Yummy. Oh. He has a big dog. Deal breaker! Maybe I can learn to love your dog, Madison. Madison gets dressed, zips up his pants (oh my). And . . . that's it. What the eff? What was the point of that? All we did was see Madison taking a shower and . . . why the hell am I complaining?
I'll take it!
Back to Chad, voice-overing about real estate crap and "finding the right buyer." And . . . that's it. Maybe Dr. Sam can prescribe some Ritalin for the editor.
Back to Trust Fund, who says that there's some delay in the selling of the Carole Lombard Crap Factory, and that he'll go to Dr. Sam for another offer. He goes to Dr. Sam, for a legitimate tooth cleaning. They talk about the house while Trust Fund is being worked on. Trust Fund later tells Dr. Sam that he needs a personal check for $300,000 to seal the deal. Trust Fund avoids eye contact with Dr. Sam while telling him about percents and crap. Man. I hate that shady bastard. Dr. Sam writes a check for $300.000. I'm sure that everything will work out and Dr. Sam will never regret doing business with Trust Fund, nor writing that check. Nope, I think it's all gonna work out just fine!
Chad is telling us that he attends "red carpet events regularly." As a real estate agent? I'm thinking his carpets are cerise at best. Ugh, hair! Chad voiceovers that he asked Jonathan what he wanted to do with his unit. Hee! They're at some hotel for some benefit, and Jonathan tells Chad that he's going to take his unit off the market. That sucks for Chad. Chad is photographed by about 5 low-end paparazzi. I'd like to add that the carpet isn't even red in the slightest. It appears to be of a grey and beige checkered sort of pattern, with peach colored diamond-shaped accents. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the Best Western Sunset Plaza Hotel. Victoria says these events can be kind of boring. I'm assuming that by "events," she means this show. Chad lost $26,125, although to be fair, he didn't really lose it since he never had it. I feel sorry for Chad. But only because of his hair.
I'm sure if the camera stays in this position long enough, we'll see Dina Lohan. Fingers crossed!
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Comments (10)
Hypnotoad, a million thanks for brilliantly recapping this show! It's a big crapfest but I took one look at Madison and was hooked (thanks Bravo- I needed another shitty TV show clogging up my DVR!!) I personally hate Chad MUCH more than Trust Fund, because he reeks of douchbaggery. Also, I have dubbed him "Brian Bonsall" because of that awful hairdo. He looks just like the kid from "Family Ties" (see?: www.tvguide.com/magazine/covers/newimages/88052801.jpg)
Also, a bit of interesting news: Trust Fund was recently arrested for stealing from his listings-- www.tmz.com/2008/08/01/bravo-star-ought-not-to-be-in-pictures
It's always the rich kids that turn into kleptos!! Why is that?
1 of 10 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on August 15, 2008 5:28 PM
Chad reminds me of Harold from Harold and Maude. Maybe Trust Fund's grandmother and him...quite the plot twist, no?
2 of 10 | Posted by silver | Posted on August 15, 2008 6:39 PM
Wow, I am shocked that Trust Fund was arrested for . . . wait, is shocked the right word? No, it's not: Vindicated. That might be it. He's such an ass. I'm sure Grandma will bail him out, what with all her pant-suit money.
3 of 10 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on August 16, 2008 10:11 AM
He looks like the 5th Beetle. This show magnifies what I hate about real estate - 3 underage idiots can make money. My question is...why do these wealthy people use them? Why would you be impressed with someone like Madison who just started in real estate about a year ago and speaks with a lisp or Josh who's rude and like 21?
4 of 10 | Posted by cleogrl | Posted on August 17, 2008 3:00 PM
Very funny recap, I find myself wanting to slap Trust Fund kid multiple times each episode. The other day I was at staples and bought a thing of post-its that say 'Golf is Everything' on them for my Buppa. I think Chad should have some made that say Image is everything on them.
5 of 10 | Posted by Zumdahl | Posted on August 18, 2008 1:59 PM
Hypno--this was an absolutely FANTASTIC recap! I laughed out loud so many times it was ridiculous. My co-worker thinks I'm officially nuts. Sanity. Is everything.
Chad reminds me of the mushrooms off of Super Mario brothers. But not nearly as awesome. And when he was going on about selling his soul to the devil and was all, "So, who's Dorian Gray?" Like, "So, who's that guy, a friend of yours? Does he have a realtor?" Ugh, tool.
6 of 10 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on August 19, 2008 7:50 AM
i didn't watch this show but holy crap, fantastic recap. i probably still won't watch the show, but i will definitely read the recaps. hypno, you're hilarious.
plus i love *anything* with a dorian gray allusion. only i'm pretty sure dorian gray was supposed to be fantastically handsome and not a poorly-constructed shag lamp.
7 of 10 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 19, 2008 12:46 PM
Oh for the love of pete thank you for recapping this show. I watched it against my better judgement and am hooked. I cannot wait for you to catch up. Last week the wind blew Chad's hair back and that high schooler is balding... freaking A. And he goes to a pool and wears a head band like a tool.
8 of 10 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on August 22, 2008 10:44 PM
Finally, a place where I can admit I watched it. It was so inane, I just couldn't look away. Dead- on recap, but oddly, you forgot MY CLIENT, RON RICHARDS. I think we need to make some rules for the RON RICHARDS drinking game. That RON RICHARDS must be one important dude.
9 of 10 | Posted by mediagirl | Posted on August 22, 2008 11:37 PM
Chad looks and sounds like PeeWee Herman would with a bowl cut and bangs. Can't you see Paul Reubens doing a Chad character? Its fun watching Trust Fund, knowing he got busted stealing from his clients. Which do you think he prefers: coke or meth? Madison is the most likable, but a little dull, no?
10 of 10 | Posted by bongofl | Posted on August 24, 2008 1:40 PM