Testimonials

Erin is so cute, like Jim from The Office with darker, higher hair. Mad's friends, lacking any form of tact, keep asking Mad and Erin how it's going, and how they feel right now. Rude. At the end of the night, Mad walks Erin to the door, and Erin asks if they'll see each other again. Mad says that they didn't really click, and asks Erin if he felt it. Erin says that he did, but Mad says he didn't feel anything. Erin says, "Wow, honesty hurts," and between that and the look on his face I just feel the need to hug him. You know, while Erin and I are naked. So sad! And although I think Madison is kind of an idiot for not giving Erin another chance, I will say that I'm glad he's being honest and up front. Mad says they can still be friends, and Erin says that would be good. Yeah, because I always want to remain friends with someone who rejected me on a cable TV show. Erin looks like he'd be really, really good at making out, so it's Madison's loss, if you ask me.

Since this episode is all about relationships, we see Chad and Victoria on their way to Palm Springs, which is where Erin and I are also planning to spend our one year anniversary, where he will propose to me and tell me that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. They get spa treatments and drink booze in the pool, which is pretty much the best thing ever, if you ask me. To quote the fabulous Grace Adler, "I swear, swimming any other way than drunk is just stupid." At night, they're in some open-air bungalow thing. Chad says that he's been thinking about their relationship, and then he asks her to . . . move in with him. Chad's hair is now freaking the fuck out, and later Chad will lock himself in the bathroom, stare in the mirror, stroke his hair and say, "Oh, baby, you'll always be my number one. You know that, right? You know I love you, baby. You know I do. Wanna brush? Yeah? There you go . . ." Victoria interviews that her parents are divorced so it makes her more cautious in relationships. But I guess she says yes? She says, "I love you," so I guess that means she's moving in. I don't know.

I'll move in on two conditions. 1. You never take that sweatband off. Ever. 2. You actually look at me once or twice when I take off my clothes.

Meanwhile, Trust Fund calls Dr. Gershman to let him know he got the house. However, Dr. Gershman will have to pay a little more, because the government requires that people pay at least 80% of the value of seized property. I would think something like that would be on the real estate test, but since Trust Fund paid someone else to take it for him, I can understand how he wouldn't know that before he asked Dr. Gershman to sign the contracts. Gotta cut him some slack, peeps. The commission is about $112,000. As Trust Fund hangs up the phone, he says, "I. Am a dreamweaver." Ah, so he's the one Gary Wright had in mind when he wrote that song. I've always wondered.

The obnoxious purple logo at the bottom of the screen tells us it's three days later, all of which Trust Fund spent rolling around in $100 bills on his bed while knocking back bottles of Cristal, while his Grandma writes her autobiography entitled, "Polyester: I Completely Brought It Over From Germany and If You Don't Believe Me You Can Suck It." The inspector comes over to inspect Dr. Gershman's new house. He does inspector-y things. On the roof, the inspector sees many screws and says that the people put Christmas decorations up there. Each one of those screws went through the roof. And here comes the best part of the show: Trust Fund says, "Well that was very intelligent, wasn't it." The inspector, clearly unfamiliar with a little thing called sarcasm, says in complete seriousness, "No." As if Trust Fund has just said the most ludicrous thing in the world. Okay, it doesn't sound funny when you're reading it, but trust me, it's funny. At least the first time. You can get off the edge of your seat and stop biting your nails - the house is fine. Whee.

Madison, on the other hand, is having problems with the Horrible House of Three Levels of Stairs. No one wants to buy. He tells them to lower the price, they agree. Oh, thank god!

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Posted in Million Dollar Listing by Hypnotoad at 7:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Last Comment: hypnotoad on Aug 28, 2008 10:36 AM.