Oh, for the love of god. They have to hurry for some soccer game, so, with seeing the house for like 10 minutes, without asking any questions about the history or foundation or leaks or asking for an inspection, they decide to make an offer. Smart! Two words, buyers: Money Pit. Hilarious! Remember when Tom Hanks fell through the floor? And the raccoon in the dumbwaiter? And when Shelley Long thought leaving Cheers was a lucrative career move? Ah, good times. Well, I'm sure Trust Fund wouldn't sell them a house without telling them everything about it. I mean, he's completely trustworthy and would never do anything shady. Or would he? Money talk. They bargain to $6.3 million. But they change it to $6,300,126 because of some Jewish ritual . . . or something? I'm Baptist, so I don't know. Potential double commission? $315,000. I'm glad, because Trust Fund really needs that money, what with the price of groceries going up. Man, I hate him.
Wearing sunglasses indoors during a business deal is totally classy. We'll take it!
Back to Victoria and Gabby, Victoria's friend. Vic tells Gab about moving in with Chad. Vic interviews that Chad is anal about things. They talk about how he cleaned his apartment when Gabby came over once. And Vic opens her purse, and literally everything is in Ziploc bags. I guess Chad made her do it. It's kind of awesome and scary at the same time. Oh my gosh! It's OCD Vision as Chad packs for Vegas and puts everything in Ziploc bags. Even toilet paper! Hee! Good. I hear the toilet paper at the Bellagio is really sub-par.
Trust Fund drives away and as he pulls up to his house, by which I mean Grandma's house, in his car, he hits the recycle bin, and he's all, "Damn gardener!" He throws a hissy and goes inside and calls the estate about the dead people's house that he showed earlier.
Mad goes into his office, and Ashley (his secretary) says that the counter offer for Kim's house came in. They only went down $20,000 to $1.975 million, with 24 hours to make an offer. Now, Kim hasn't seen the inside yet. But the sellers have the impression that she has. Oh no! Kim has a horse show tomorrow! She can't see the house! It has to be today! Mad calls the sellers and asks if it's okay! Which show is more suspenseful - Million Dollar Listing or Lost? Oh, I can't decide!
Trust Fund drives and sings, one of which he should never do again. Ever. He comes to the soccer game, where the potential buyers are vaguely watching their son play soccer. And maybe it's bad editing (on this show?! No way!), but it seems like they're in a completely different area not even adjacent to the field. And they're totally half-assing it with their support. "Come on." "Good . . . shot." "Come on, Mikey." No exclamation points. Just periods. As if he thinks he's entitled to every piece of land in the world, Trust Fund walks onto the soccer field while the game is going on. Idiot. So, their offer was completely rejected. Trust Fund says they should go to $6.5 million. But they don't want to pay that much, and so they say $6.425 mill. They still want a deal. Rich people are just like you and me. Except much better off. And with better things. Trust Fund says he will call and ask the estate if that's okay. Suspense!
I refuse to wear my indoor sunglasses outdoors and I can't find my outdoor ones. Also I found a hatch under the house where there's all this sci fi shit. Go lower?
Back at Kim's potential house, Kim finally gets to see inside. Ohmigod enough with the stupid house-showing music! This show will kill me, and then Flipit will have to recap it, and then he'll die . . . its like The Ring. Chad will come out of a well and his hair will come through your TV screen and eat you! The house has bedrooms and walls and beds and couches and stuff. Thrilling. Except completely not. Kim likey? Kim likey! Madison says that he'll contact the inspector to see if it's in good shape. I hope Trust Fund is watching so he can learn from Mad how to be a realtor, but even if he does TiVo the show, something tells me he fast-forwards through the scenes he's not in. Commission: $59,250.
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Comments (11)
It "never" rains in LA because LA is, climatically speaking, a desert. It gets about 12 inches of rain per year, or about 4 times as many inches as Josh's girlfriend gets nightly.
The only reason you see a tree, or grass, or ANYTHING green in LA is because the city steals, err, diverts, water from rivers hundreds, and even thousands, of miles away. So, go ahead and add greenery to "breasts" on the list of things that are all fake in LA. And have fun in that open-air cabana.
PS: the Clippers are an NBA team in LA. They are just really bad so nobody cares about them.
1 of 11 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:01 AM
I do not even know what to say after this episode. I thought it was impossible for this show to get any more BOOOOOORING after the first ep, but wouldn't you know it .... You live and learn...
I will never ever believe that Chad is 30 years old. Look at his face, listen to his voice, watch his interactions with his 'girlfriend' Victoria. He reeks of an unsecure teenager. What a bufoon. And his voice-overs are seriously killing me - and not in a good, dying from laughter, way. How a person SOOOOOOOO boring got on a TV show? It is beyond me.
You know, I actually went to the Bravo page for this show, but there is nothing there. I found a nugget though on IMBD. This douchebag has a 'Professional Resume' posted there. LOL. He lists himself as a 'Performer', covering ages '18-25' (I guess as an 'actor'). He has an AGENT!! Plus he proudly lists 2 (TWO) HOSTING COURSES he took in LA. Because, you never know when some idiot may stop you in the street and ask you to host his suicide party. That is the only type of party his hosting may be actually suited to the mood of.
After all, It is Hollywood! Resume-is-Everything. Truth, not so much...
As for Mad, I thought it was really sad when he talked with his 'girl friend' with the effed-up name about his sexuality. Why sad? Because I could see, when she said 'there are other girls out there' that she clearly meant HERSELF! She seems to have major hots for him, and I think he knew that too, and that was the reason he got so uncomfortable and split. Poor her..
As for Trust Fund - all I can say is Karma is a bitch. The client deserved exactly the type of broker they got. What an unpleasant people (kids excluded, I'd never blame kids for their parents' idiotisms). I salute his Granny for telling him she will consign all her wealth to charity, he will not get a penny from her. I was ROFLMAO. His facial expression was priceless when she said it. It was all ' shit, no reason to hope for her to croak anymore. Life IS a BITCH'.
Hypnotoad - I am amazed and truly impressed that you are able to sit thru this garbage week after week and sacrifice your time and friends for us to be able to read you hillarious recaps - they are the only reason that I keep coming back to this wreck of a show. BRAVO should pay you, seriously. You must be responsible for a huge portion of their viewer retention. Just remember that no good deed goes unpunished - your IQ level is bound to drop precipitously becasue of this crap taking a hold on it. Just know, we are on that downward spin with you. Now that I think about it - it is because of you. I just figured it out- YOU are responsible for my getting stupider and stupider. If it wasn't for your recaps I wouldn't have to watch the show, and my brain would be safe. Ahhh, what you gonna do. Some of us have to go thru life sacrificing. Lots of Love for the great job you're doing.
2 of 11 | Posted by renia | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:09 AM
Well, thank ya. I find it kind of funny to see comments on here that say (in essence): "I don't watch the show, but I read the recaps." I say KIND OF funny because those people do not feel the physical pain that has been inflicted upon me.
I'm so glad I can contribute to your stupidosity! Yay!
3 of 11 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:29 AM
I loved 8-head girlfriend of Mad's, and you nailed the definitions Hypnotoad! Except in Mad's case I think it should be spelled Pollyamorous (like what his drag name is going to be).
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. and actually, the winter of '97-'98 was an El Niño year, and we all made fun of that... up until it started raining. And it rained and rained and rained and rained and all the roads leading to downtown Encino (where I worked) were all flooded out all the time and it majorly sucked and everybody hated it. It does happen sometimes, though, which is why there will be a crapload of mudslides out in the 'BU and all the local 'BU-ites whine and cry on the news about it... :)
4 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 2, 2008 1:04 PM
Why does Lauren, the bitchy assistant, look so familiar? It's driving me nuts- someone please help!
5 of 11 | Posted by natural redhead | Posted on September 2, 2008 11:55 PM
I believe you know her from the book of Revelation...
6 of 11 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on September 3, 2008 3:10 PM
Why would anyone buy anything from these clowns?? They are the most annoying people. There has to be better agents then them. I hate Chad's hair, I want to go over and mess it up.
7 of 11 | Posted by 1219tracy | Posted on September 3, 2008 10:06 PM
I think Lauren may remind you of that red head from Top Chef..they could be sisters. If they are what the hell did there parents do to wind up with such bitches.
8 of 11 | Posted by lotsofun80 | Posted on September 4, 2008 1:15 AM
I think Chad has a seriously receding hairline, how else could you justify that hair? His dad is a total cue ball. Also, in Palm Springs, Chad was wearing that headband to keep his hair in place.
Ever notice how he keeps fussing with his hair in the car mirror?
9 of 11 | Posted by Sandogg | Posted on September 5, 2008 11:29 PM
lauren looks familar to me too. so i looked her up:
beta.koolse.com/lauren-sanderson
her name is lauren sanderson and if you read her bio, you'll see that she is seriously small potatos. she used to be in advertising before she was a "manager". that was probably her 4th time ever riding in (the back of) a limo, no wonder she was an uncomfortable bitch.
10 of 11 | Posted by tvgirl | Posted on September 10, 2008 2:01 PM
lauren looks familar to me too. so i looked her up:
beta.koolse.com/lauren-sanderson
her name is lauren sanderson and if you read her bio, you'll see that she is seriously small potatos. she used to be in advertising before she was a "manager". that was probably her 4th time ever riding in (the back of) a limo, no wonder she was an uncomfortable bitch.
11 of 11 | Posted by tvgirl | Posted on September 10, 2008 2:02 PM