On the soccer field, Mikey is being ignored by his parents as they sit far, far away and think about how to arrange the furniture in their new living room. Some things are just more important than your children, you know? Trust Fund says they accepted the offer. Yay! Everyone's happy. They drive away, then 15 minutes later remember that they have another son named . . . Mickey? Nicky? So they grudgingly turn around and pick him up. It's cool - they'll buy him a pony tomorrow and make the nanny take him to Disneyland. It's called good parenting. Trust Fund walks across the field again! Idiot.
Meanwhile, the inspector shows up at Kim's potential house. Mad calls his friend Leasi (what the eff?), who says she's hungry but not eating this week. I think she's totally serious. And why shouldn't she be? She's so fat! Whatev - she must weigh at least 80 lbs soaking wet. Girl, eat a sandwich. Make it a footlong meatball from Subway. They're only $5 all day every day. Madison talks about his date last week with Erin and how he blew him off, which only made him run into my open arms. We're doing good, by the way. Erin made me dinner tonight. Tacos. They were pretty tasty. Leasi, taking the form of every member of the audience, asks Mad if he's gay or bi now. Mad's response? He's going with the flow, and thinks it's called "polyamorous," which is completely 100% wrong. For those of you who aren't "with it," polyamorous is pretty much having an open relationship, or having loving, intimate, emotional relationships with more than one person. With the consent of all parties involved. Madison is single. Therefore, he can't be polyamorous. Perhaps he meant "pansexual," which I believe is when someone likes to have sexual relations with cooking and baking utensils. He said his therapist told him about "polyamorous." Get a new one, Mad.
I get a boner every time I pass the wooden spoon in my kitchen. BTW what's wrong with your forehead? You need nutrients.
Mad goes on to say that he really wants to be with this other girl, Lauren, who he used to date. She moved with her boyfriend to Malibu. Leasi is all, you only want her because you can't have her. Word, Leasi. Then she says that he's hanging on to the Lauren thing because that means he doesn't "have to go gay completely. Cuz there are other women out there . . ." Me confused. I think Leasi means, "You're denying your homosexuality by saying you still love Lauren. If you really wanted a woman, you'd get a woman. Denying your sexuality is not a good thing. Just go with it." But she could mean, "There's other women out there, so you should try to get with them so you won't be gay." I'm gonna go with the first one, because Leasi - seriously, meatball sub - seems kind of fabulous and down with the gays. But I don't know. Anyhoo. Mad is uncomfortable and goes back to the inspection. There are a few issues with the house, meaning Kim can get a price reduction.
In Vegas, Chad's hair gambles. At the slots. Hey, big spender! Vic's all, "You're losing, this is boring, I want to stop gambling." Translation: "I'm horny." Chad brings up the moving in thing. I guess Vic hasn't said yes yet. And I say good for her. I moved in with someone when I was unsure. Turns out? He cheated on me with someone he met on the internet. In Kentucky. And told me he was going there "on business." And I found this out after HE broke up with ME. Bastard. Chad's all, "Let's move in next week!" Vic is all, "I like what we have now." Chad, being the master of vocab that he is, tells her that she should honor what she said last week and that they have to move in together. Smooth move, dude. Chicks love being bossed around and treated like children. So I hear.
Chad is pissed off about the Vic thing, and then this: Cuttino's manager emails Chad and is all, "I'm gonna be the one to show Cuttino houses." Chad got a limo for Cuttino and everything. Aww. Chad calls Cuttino, but can't leave a message on his phone because Cuttino hasn't set up his voice mail yet. Um, okay.
Stop endrsng brst cncr dude. n set up ur vmail.
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Comments (11)
It "never" rains in LA because LA is, climatically speaking, a desert. It gets about 12 inches of rain per year, or about 4 times as many inches as Josh's girlfriend gets nightly.
The only reason you see a tree, or grass, or ANYTHING green in LA is because the city steals, err, diverts, water from rivers hundreds, and even thousands, of miles away. So, go ahead and add greenery to "breasts" on the list of things that are all fake in LA. And have fun in that open-air cabana.
PS: the Clippers are an NBA team in LA. They are just really bad so nobody cares about them.
1 of 11 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:01 AM
I do not even know what to say after this episode. I thought it was impossible for this show to get any more BOOOOOORING after the first ep, but wouldn't you know it .... You live and learn...
I will never ever believe that Chad is 30 years old. Look at his face, listen to his voice, watch his interactions with his 'girlfriend' Victoria. He reeks of an unsecure teenager. What a bufoon. And his voice-overs are seriously killing me - and not in a good, dying from laughter, way. How a person SOOOOOOOO boring got on a TV show? It is beyond me.
You know, I actually went to the Bravo page for this show, but there is nothing there. I found a nugget though on IMBD. This douchebag has a 'Professional Resume' posted there. LOL. He lists himself as a 'Performer', covering ages '18-25' (I guess as an 'actor'). He has an AGENT!! Plus he proudly lists 2 (TWO) HOSTING COURSES he took in LA. Because, you never know when some idiot may stop you in the street and ask you to host his suicide party. That is the only type of party his hosting may be actually suited to the mood of.
After all, It is Hollywood! Resume-is-Everything. Truth, not so much...
As for Mad, I thought it was really sad when he talked with his 'girl friend' with the effed-up name about his sexuality. Why sad? Because I could see, when she said 'there are other girls out there' that she clearly meant HERSELF! She seems to have major hots for him, and I think he knew that too, and that was the reason he got so uncomfortable and split. Poor her..
As for Trust Fund - all I can say is Karma is a bitch. The client deserved exactly the type of broker they got. What an unpleasant people (kids excluded, I'd never blame kids for their parents' idiotisms). I salute his Granny for telling him she will consign all her wealth to charity, he will not get a penny from her. I was ROFLMAO. His facial expression was priceless when she said it. It was all ' shit, no reason to hope for her to croak anymore. Life IS a BITCH'.
Hypnotoad - I am amazed and truly impressed that you are able to sit thru this garbage week after week and sacrifice your time and friends for us to be able to read you hillarious recaps - they are the only reason that I keep coming back to this wreck of a show. BRAVO should pay you, seriously. You must be responsible for a huge portion of their viewer retention. Just remember that no good deed goes unpunished - your IQ level is bound to drop precipitously becasue of this crap taking a hold on it. Just know, we are on that downward spin with you. Now that I think about it - it is because of you. I just figured it out- YOU are responsible for my getting stupider and stupider. If it wasn't for your recaps I wouldn't have to watch the show, and my brain would be safe. Ahhh, what you gonna do. Some of us have to go thru life sacrificing. Lots of Love for the great job you're doing.
2 of 11 | Posted by renia | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:09 AM
Well, thank ya. I find it kind of funny to see comments on here that say (in essence): "I don't watch the show, but I read the recaps." I say KIND OF funny because those people do not feel the physical pain that has been inflicted upon me.
I'm so glad I can contribute to your stupidosity! Yay!
3 of 11 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:29 AM
I loved 8-head girlfriend of Mad's, and you nailed the definitions Hypnotoad! Except in Mad's case I think it should be spelled Pollyamorous (like what his drag name is going to be).
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. and actually, the winter of '97-'98 was an El Niño year, and we all made fun of that... up until it started raining. And it rained and rained and rained and rained and all the roads leading to downtown Encino (where I worked) were all flooded out all the time and it majorly sucked and everybody hated it. It does happen sometimes, though, which is why there will be a crapload of mudslides out in the 'BU and all the local 'BU-ites whine and cry on the news about it... :)
4 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 2, 2008 1:04 PM
Why does Lauren, the bitchy assistant, look so familiar? It's driving me nuts- someone please help!
5 of 11 | Posted by natural redhead | Posted on September 2, 2008 11:55 PM
I believe you know her from the book of Revelation...
6 of 11 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on September 3, 2008 3:10 PM
Why would anyone buy anything from these clowns?? They are the most annoying people. There has to be better agents then them. I hate Chad's hair, I want to go over and mess it up.
7 of 11 | Posted by 1219tracy | Posted on September 3, 2008 10:06 PM
I think Lauren may remind you of that red head from Top Chef..they could be sisters. If they are what the hell did there parents do to wind up with such bitches.
8 of 11 | Posted by lotsofun80 | Posted on September 4, 2008 1:15 AM
I think Chad has a seriously receding hairline, how else could you justify that hair? His dad is a total cue ball. Also, in Palm Springs, Chad was wearing that headband to keep his hair in place.
Ever notice how he keeps fussing with his hair in the car mirror?
9 of 11 | Posted by Sandogg | Posted on September 5, 2008 11:29 PM
lauren looks familar to me too. so i looked her up:
beta.koolse.com/lauren-sanderson
her name is lauren sanderson and if you read her bio, you'll see that she is seriously small potatos. she used to be in advertising before she was a "manager". that was probably her 4th time ever riding in (the back of) a limo, no wonder she was an uncomfortable bitch.
10 of 11 | Posted by tvgirl | Posted on September 10, 2008 2:01 PM
lauren looks familar to me too. so i looked her up:
beta.koolse.com/lauren-sanderson
her name is lauren sanderson and if you read her bio, you'll see that she is seriously small potatos. she used to be in advertising before she was a "manager". that was probably her 4th time ever riding in (the back of) a limo, no wonder she was an uncomfortable bitch.
11 of 11 | Posted by tvgirl | Posted on September 10, 2008 2:02 PM