Testimonials

Chad says he and Victoria had a "huge" fight in Vegas. So she's going back to Texas to think about things. You know, I'd much rather see a show about Victoria. Actually, at this point, I'd much rather see a show about Chad's car. Even if it was just sitting in a parking garage, that'd be fine by me. Exhaust fumes. Are everything. Vic says she loves Chad to death, but is unsure of living with someone. She leaves for her flight, without hugging Chad or saying goodbye, but I think that's an editing thing.

Speaking of editing, we're back to Mad and Taylor. Taylor's dad flies in on a freaking private jet. Can't he fly commercial like P. Diddy? And then whine about it on YouTube and expect Americans to feel sorry for him? Taylor's dad has a Texas accent and is about 80 years old.

What ever happened to John Voight?

Back at Trust Fund's house, it's 1 p.m. (I'm assuming), and he rolls out of bed, looking hung-over as always. He interviews that perhaps he missed out by not going to college. He is only 21 after all. Damn. I forgot how young Trust Fund is. Trust Fund says that his friends make fun of him because he has a huge pill case. That's not a euphemism - he actually does have a huge pill case. And it's so awesome that his friends make fun of his mental and/or physical illnesses. Trust Fund is really disillusioned.

Back to Mad, who talks about Big Daddy and how he might be shocked at how expensive the houses are. Might? He's from the south. Even the McDonald's dollar menus are different out there. Scratch the first house - Taylor tells Mad that Big Daddy says it's too far from campus. I don't know what's worse - the fact that Big Daddy makes Taylor speak to Mad or the fact that Big Daddy is making all the decisions for his 21-year-old son. You know what? They're both bad. It's all bad. This whole show. It's all a big pile of steaming poo. That's what I say. I wish they would just change the show to "Rich Assholes Being Rich Assholes." The second house is $1.399 million. There's no pool. Big Daddy says that it doesn't look like a typical house for a college student and his buddies. That's because it's $1.399 million you stupid bastard! Here's a typical college house: weird and indiscriminate stains on the carpet, a couch from the Salvation Army, fridge full of Natural Light, and a hole in the living room wall from that time where Jerry punched it because he was pissed he lost at Mario Kart. Also, Taylor has friends? Oh wait - he's fucking loaded, of course he does.

Back to Chad. Today's the first broker's open at Cuttino's house, and Chad opens the door to *gasp* an empty house! Ooh, it's dramatic because the music says it is! Something tells me the Daughter of Satan, a.k.a. Lauren had something to do with it. So apparently Cuttino moved all the furniture out of the house. Chad, whose hair actually looks a bit disheveled right now (aw, it's worried!), says that if the house was furnished it would sell a lot better. Agreed, but here's the thing - when people move, they tend to take their stuff with them. Chad hired Raul, a "personal butler to the stars," to hand out water to people as they enter. Raul kind of looks like Jack McFarland 20 years from now. People look at the house, which is going for $3.995 million. Chad blahs about soft market.

Holy Ashley and Mary Kate! Have some water!

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Posted in Million Dollar Listing by Hypnotoad at 1:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: susie on Sep 10, 2008 06:27 AM.