Back at Stinky Pierre's, Chad makes mimosas for people who are looking at the house. Everyone says it's over-priced, including two men who may or may not be gay. Since it's California, I'm just going to assume that they are. Reuben, who I think is Pierre's son, asks Trust Fund if there are any buyers. I guess Reuben's a budding real estate agent as well. So stay tuned for Season 3 and the adventures of Reuben! You can bet I won't be watching! Oh, god, I sure to hell hope not. Two women enter, and Trust Fund proceeds to act like a jackass. Apparently, they're not buyers - they're people who go out on Sundays to get free alcohol and pretend that they can afford the house. Know how he knows? Because they're "dressed up," and "people with money don't need to dress up when they come to look at an open house." They just need to act like pompous assholes. THAT'S how you know people can afford a house.
At least remove the flaming hobos before you try and sell.
Back to Big Daddy & Co. Mad takes them to a house that costs $2.795 mill. Um, Madison? Remember when Taylor was all, "Daddy says he can only spend $1.5 million! Wah! Wah!" The house is kind of cool. In an act of realtor camaraderie, Mike, another realtor, shows the house. Who gets the commission, I wonder? Why should we care? Big Daddy calls Mad to make an offer. That was quick. But I guess he has to get back to Dallas to rape the earth for fossil fuels so Taylor can drive a quarter of a mile to the liquor store to buy Natural Light for his underage "friends." Yeah, you heard me. Miller High Life Light.
So, at a Coldwell Banker building, which I'm not really sure is Mad's office building, but I'm not 100% sure, Big Daddy Bloom sits down with Mad to shoot the shit. Big Daddy wants to offer $2.6 million and blah blah southern accent blah. Taylor doesn't say a word, and something tells me this mofo is the type who doesn't know that you should separate whites from colors when doing laundry. He'd probably put the soap on top of the clothes! Ha! Rich dumbass! Big Daddy tells Mad his terms, and Madison says, "That's a nice package." Big Daddy, turned on and flattered, moves in for a kiss . . . Ew, no! I'm just kidding! Ugh, sorry for that mental image. But not that sorry - you're not watching the show.
Stupid hair competition is on, Chad!
Chad. No, not the African country, silly. The guy with the funny hair. He's picking up Victoria from LAX. He wanted to surprise, he says, so he hired a cleaning crew to clean her condo. God, I hope she rents. If she can own a condo, then that's it. I give up. That was nice of Chad, but if I wanted someone to move in with me, I'd hire people to go into my boyfriend's apartment and break and steal stuff. Then I'd say, "Oh my god! Everything's ruined! Well, now I guess you'll have to move in with me." And this is why I'm single. Victoria apologizes for Vegas, which she shouldn't. All that crap was Chad's fault. Vic, who I think has a good head on her shoulders, thinks she needs to find herself and get a job and stuff because she just graduated from college. Chad thinks that's a good idea. Aw! Dump him, Victoria.
Hooolld on a second. Trust Fund gets out of the shower. The camera doesn't linger on him for 30 seconds like it does when Madison showers. Probably not a bad idea. He's not completely bad-looking, though, I have to say. Tonight is Trust Fund's 22 birthday and his parents are throwing him a party at the Beverly Hills hotel. You guys, it's like a freaking bar mitvah. Or, if you're not Jewish, the 4-H dance they had at the county fairgrounds every year. I used to dee-jay ours! I was the shit, bitches. Also, my parents stopped throwing me birthday parties in like, 5th grade. Although, for my 21st birthday they took me to Worlds of Fun, which was pretty low on the list of things I wanted to do when I turned 21. I do love me some roller coasters, though.
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Comments (9)
It doesn't matter how much money Big Daddy spends on that house because... it's going to smell like beer eventually anyway. Yay Mitchell!!
Loved the recap.
1 of 9 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on September 8, 2008 2:57 PM
I stopped watching this steaming pile of crap a couple of weeks ago, but I want to thank you for taking one for the team. Your recaps are always hilarious!
P.S. Next week please include some pictures of Madison (preferably naked, if possible). Thanks!!
h4b
2 of 9 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on September 8, 2008 4:47 PM
Interestingly enough, I just got into it during a marathon over the weekend - and I don't do reality (PR & TC notwithstanding).
Honestly, Pierre's as big a douche as Trust Fund. But he had a point of not doing business with someone dressed like that.
And something tells me Trust Fund was expecting someone in his room during the party that he didn't want the camera to see. Maybe the guy he got caught & arrested with doing something in the backseat of a car back in May. Hence the wine, the candles, the cake, the state of UNDRESS.
3 of 9 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 8, 2008 7:16 PM
I honestly think that Stinky Pierre decided that since his son was such a 'star' and got both offers himself ,that there was no reason to share commission with Trust Fund. Most likely there even were no offers, since they would not let TF see the papers or learn the details. The Stinker just used it as an excuse to cancel the deal with TF, and take the house off the market, so he can put it back on under his sons sole realtorship, and save on commission (yeah, I think that is exactly the kind of dick he is).
4 of 9 | Posted by renata | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:14 PM
hutchlover - what is this about Trustie getting arrested for some kind of George Michael thing? What's up with that? I'd heard of him getting into trouble for stealing art works, but yours sounds more intriguing.
Dish!
5 of 9 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on September 9, 2008 10:52 AM
hypno- He was arrested in July for the art theft (which BTW turns out did occur, but they were fakes and the owners didn't want it out that the works were fake, hence the dropped charges).
In May he got arrested on a public lewdness charge for "misbehaving" on a public street in a car with another guy.
6 of 9 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 9, 2008 6:30 PM
trying again. if it posts twice, I apologize.
Josh was arrested in July for theft - which did occur, but the items stolen were fake, and the owners didn't want that to get out. Hence the dropping of the charges.
In May he was arrested for public lewdness in a car with another guy on a public street.
7 of 9 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 9, 2008 6:32 PM
I don't usually watch TV but lord have mercy....I somehow managed to get sucked into 3 back to back episodes of this mindless diarrhea. Help me quick before my IQ plummets to double digits. From now on, I'll stick to your blogs. They're far more superior.
8 of 9 | Posted by neversleeps | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:28 PM
Trust Fund looks like a lesbian in man drag.
9 of 9 | Posted by susie | Posted on September 10, 2008 6:27 AM