Back to Chad who is . . . Lord help us, being photographed as some hot real estate person for some lame real estate magazine or something. Oh, look Madison is there too. Think Trust Fund will show up? Do you care? Yeah, he shows up late and looking like shit. Par for the course, buddy! Par for the course. Trust Fund sits in the make up chair, and the make-up artist does her thing. But how will she cover up the ugliness on the inside, Josh? Make yourself pretty on the inside, and the outside will catch up. That's just something we beautiful people say to ugly people to give them hope. It's not true, though. Not at all. Look at Courtney Love. Oh, snap!
Exhibit B
Trust Fund talks about Chad's lips and how they're unnaturally gray. Hee. Then Chad says something about how he only sees two hip, young real estate agents. Chad? Leave the quips to the gay ones, okay? You just focus on your hair not moving. At all. Ever. We again flashback to when Chad told Trust Fund about his client not wanting to meet with Trust Fund. Madison just laughs and says to Chad, "You're so angry!" Which is kind of funny. Madison's neutral, like Switzerland. Like a bi-curious, cute-man-dumping Switzerland. Chad does look extremely pale and gray-lipped. Oh, for the love of - the photographer actually says, "Don't be afraid to work it you guys, because you are powerful, you are sexy, you are hot real estate agents in greater Los Angeles." Well, none out of three ain't bad.
The three amigos meet with the writer of the article about the "young, hot, real estate agents." Trust Fund appears to take everything Chad says personally. The interviewer asks, "You guys keep saying this is hard work. What is so hard about it?" Ha! Trust Fund says nothing and just looks pissed because that's how they wanted it edited this week. Anyway, it takes them awhile to answer the question. It's not interesting though. Chad says that you have to put aside differences to work with other agents. Trust Fund is all, "Say whaaatt?!" Ugh, Chad brings up the whole thing with Trust Fund AGAIN and we're treated to that stupid flashback AGAIN. Also, that was really petty and immature of Chad to bring up. Madison interviews (not to the magazine guy, but to the camera) that he knew "shit was going to hit the fan." Which is sort of an exaggeration at this point. There's not really "shit" hitting the fan. It's more like a light fart wafted its way over. Trust Fund says that he didn't know Chad's client, Chad says he did and has 35 emails from Trust Fund to Chad's client, and Trust Fund wants to see just one of them. Just one! You know what I'd like to see? The closing credits. Madison looks uncomfortable, the writer looks amused, and I look for the oven so I can stick my head in it. Chad and Trust Fund bicker like 7th graders in front of the Malibu magazine guy. Madison, being the only one of the three with a good (and darn attractive) head on his shoulders, interviews that it's embarrassing being with Chad and Trust Fund because they're being completely unprofessional. Word.
At least he wore his Joel Grey from Cabaret makeup. That's fun.
Okay, so Chad breaks out a little briefcase bag and suspiciously has all the emails from Trust Fund to his client already produced. But here's the deal - it was dusk during the interview and now it's full on night, so Bravo must have intercepted and made Chad print them out. Bad Bravo! Madison just laughs at the two a-holes, and rightfully so. Chad produces a couple emails from Trust Fund to Chad's client, and Trust Fund is all, "I remember this schmuck." Chad is all, "You lied to me, Josh!" Oh, lordy. Trust Fund says, "You're just jealous because I've sold more houses than you and I'm only 22." And also, Chad, um, you're jealous of his Trapper Keeper, the one with Zac Efron on the cover, and um, of his ass because, yeah, yours is like, all flat and crap, and Josh's is like, all nice and junk. So there. Madison, like the 4 people watching this show, is just deliciously horrified at how immature these two dicks are being.
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Comments (14)
What the eff?? I asked for naked pictures of Madison, not for pictures of Madison masquerading as Todd Oldham! Shame on you, hypno!!
But seriously, I loved all of your recaps and I hope you get to recap a good show soon. Hey-- Heroes is coming back on! Someone will need to fill J-Unit's sizable shoes on that one. Pretty please!?
1 of 14 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on September 13, 2008 2:04 PM
From your mouth to Flipit and gods of TVGasm's ears, my friend.
And honestly, wouldn't ANY show after this one be good?
2 of 14 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on September 13, 2008 7:53 PM
Flipit and the gods of TVgasm... arent they one and the same?
And yes, I second the fact that you need a better show! Heroes would be awesome :)
3 of 14 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on September 13, 2008 8:29 PM
HEY! hypno will be returning in two weeks with desperate housewives! he's gonna kill it! t.vo is going to do heroes this year, and if her recaps are anything like her american idol recaps or last year's heroes, i think you will all fall in love and make little babies. this fall is gonna kick some ass, y'all. LOVE
4 of 14 | Posted by flipit | Posted on September 13, 2008 11:09 PM
Oh yeah! I'm totally pumped to give y'all some DH love. I. Love. That. Show.
5 of 14 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on September 14, 2008 10:07 AM
Hypnotoad, you did a great job, much love... although I don't think "Real Housewives Of Atlanta" would be SUCH a bad assignment, you know there's gonna be plenty of stuff to make fun of on there (along with all kinds of snaps and head-bobs & shit). This one was pretty bad, though... last season's show with the old guy and his Jocelyn Wildenstein wife was funnier, but you definitely made a Prada handbag out of this sow's ear... :)
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. My house has a dishwasher that jerks you off... his name is Tom... :)
6 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 14, 2008 12:16 PM
Thank you for wonderful commentary, hypno!
I'm actually gonna miss the guys. I really like Chad and think he's just socially awkward.
I'm bleh about Madison because he's so boring. And Madison, if it takes you 3 years to get "closure" from dating a female, that might be another hint to jump out of the closet entirely.
I enjoy making fun of Josh because he's so skeevy! I'd love seeing him on another season just to watch him get burned.
7 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 14, 2008 7:53 PM
I think this show was awesome. I personally can't wait for another season...okay, that's making my stomach hurt just trying to type that. Truth is I never even watched the show. I like my TV and if I had to watch these semi-humans I would have put something through it. The only reason I paid any attention to this pile of garbage was because of the wonderful aroma you managed to put on it Hypnotoad. I'm not going to say it wasn't still garbage, but you're recaps were what made it tolerable and that's about the highest praise you could hope for. I also don't watch Desparate Housewives, but I'll still read the recaps. See you then.
8 of 14 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on September 15, 2008 5:21 AM
I love this show!!! I pray for its return!!! I love to watch shallow people make millions. I can't explain it.
9 of 14 | Posted by Barbie071979 | Posted on September 15, 2008 12:16 PM
"There's not really "shit" hitting the fan. It's more like a light fart wafted its way over." lmao hypno these were the best recaps of any show i've never watched. you are amazing. thank you.
macs do rule.
also the baby picture was pretty much the best thing ever. thanks for taking one in the as--i mean, for the team.
10 of 14 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 15, 2008 12:31 PM
Maybe I'm just lonely, but I totally want to do Chad.
Thanks for a great season, Hypnotoad! I'll miss these!
11 of 14 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on September 15, 2008 3:08 PM
I haven't kept up with the recaps for this show, but does anyone else think that Chad looks like a tampon?
Just a thought.
12 of 14 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on September 16, 2008 6:20 PM
"Just take out the steak knives first" and "I'm so glad I invented you" KILLED ME. I am just sitting here dead.
These networks absolutely need to put you on the payroll. I am setting Desperate Housewives to record ONLY because I want to read more of your recaps. And that's the gospel truth. ARE YOU LISTENING, NETWORK EXECS? SEND SOME MONEY TO HYPNOTOAD!
13 of 14 | Posted by ellie | Posted on September 23, 2008 4:57 PM
Wow, you guys. The comments are still coming in? Fawesome. Totally fawesome.
Oh, ellie - from your mouth to god's ears.
I do want to let you know that Flipit has actually done all the screengrabs/captions for me. Just so you know. Credit where hilarious credit is due!
Only a few more days until Desperate Housewives, and I'm so excited that I think I peed my pants just a little.
14 of 14 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on September 25, 2008 1:06 PM