Testimonials

So, Trust Fund set Miguel up with Madison, who shows him the land for his Wacky House of Mystery. Miguel is not impressed because there's no city lights or an ocean view and someone's already doing construction on it. Which is moot, because they're trying to sell the property, and I'm pretty sure that you don't want to keep building on land that you're about to sell. But maybe that's how they do things in Europe. Trust Fund tells Miguel that there's not much land out there in Beverly Hills, 90210. I bet Miguel's feet smell really bad. Plus, Miguel, dude, you're an "artist." Shouldn't you be buying a huge loft in a sketchy part of town?

Bono's twin brother Mono. Kiss him and reap the rewards for one to six months.

Meanwhile, Judith is meeting Chad and his mom at his mom's condo. Chad's mom spreads icing on a cake, and yells to the maid, "Look at me, Maria! I'm frosting a pie with this . . . what do you call it? Is this a fork? I think it's a fork, Maria!" To which Maria just sighs, shakes her head and replies, "I see you, Mrs. Chad! Good for you!" Ay, dios mio. Chad's mom is . . . a little left of center. Chad hashes out the details with Judith. Potential commission? $167,375. Then Chad yells, "Mom! We're ready for some cake!" It's red velvet cake. I have a funny story about red velvet cake, and you're going to sit there and listen to it, because I have put up with this shit for more than a month now.

Okay. So, when I was a sophomore or so in high school, my mom made a red velvet cake on Christmas Eve. Now, I loved red velvet cake more than anything in the world, and consequently, I ate pretty much ¾ of the cake all by myself, throughout the course of the evening. Bad idea. Everything that came out of me that night (at either end) was red. All red. And I was so sick that I was lying on the basement floor watching "The Greatest Story Ever Told" and I didn't even care. Since then, I just can't eat it. Ever. Even at a wedding. Huh. I guess that's not really a funny story. But it sure helped pass the time! Chad shovels cake in his mouth as his mother tells Judith that not only will she have cake, but their hearts and love and help throughout her journey as well. Grab the cake and run, Judith!

Why does this whole family insist on hiding their foreheads? What's under those bangs? It's killing me not to know. Tune in for season 2!

Commercials. Man, I really want to see "The Women." Screw Meg Ryan - I love me some Debra Messing. Even enough to forgive her for "The Wedding Date." Yeowza. Awww, back to the show already? Darn. I was enjoying the commercials. Oh, shit, I hope I don't have to recap "Real Housewives of Atlanta" next. Although, recapping a day in the life of my cat Jimbo would be more interesting than this piece of turd Bravo calls "entertainment." So bring it on, TVGasm. Bring it on.

Stop stalking Judith, cake!

Trust Fund says he likes to negotiate deals, but is hating the biz. So he's heading to New York to have some fun with . . . his grandma. So they're in New York, having coffee, discussing Miguel and the real estate business. Then they take a carriage ride through Central Park. Trust Fund's grandma is a typical grandma - she's all, "Everyone says you're talented." Yeah, um . . . no. But they are very sweet together, and Trust Fund says, "I love you," and grandma says, "I love you, Josh. You're my baby." Aw!

I'm so glad I invented you.

Back to Chad. Time for inspection on Judith's new house. The verdict is pretty bad. Apparently there's no air-conditioning in the house. Everyone acts surprised, but here's a clue: If you don't see any vents, there's probably not any a/c, you freaking Einsteins! I would say that maybe the inspector means that the a/c just doesn't work, but he said he didn't find any air conditioning. Anywhere.

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Posted in Million Dollar Listing by Hypnotoad at 12:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: hypnotoad on Sep 25, 2008 01:06 PM.