Yesterday evening, I found myself flying from Boston to Burbank, and since I was on Jetblue and surrounded by nothing but televisions, I thought what better way to pass time than whipping out the old laptop and liveblogging the flight. So once again, please enjoy the further adventures of TVgasm on Jetblue...
5:43 PM
So here I am on JetBlue once again. This time, I'm flying from JFK to Burbank. Status update: my seat is quite good. Exit row window seat -- yeah, pretty much the best you can get. The only detraction seems to be my tray table which is too slanted, causing my beverage to come sliding recklessly towards my lap if I don't keep a firm hand on it. I've recently enjoyed a bag of Munchies mix with a ginger ale. Plus, in a rare moment of pre-flight logistical genius, I decided that instead of languishing on the plane for five and a half hours without a real meal, I would instead buy a sandwich ahead of time. My choice? Black forest ham and brie with honey mustard. It was a most welcomed sandwich, especially after the hour we spent sitting on the tarmac. Of course, no meal would be complete without a little dessert; so for this mighty occasion, I indulged in a dark chocolate Toblerone bar. It seemed like a great idea at the time, and it certainly was delicious, but I had massively underestimated the candy bar's potential to send a shower of chocolate splinters down onto my lap with every bite. As a result, I had faced the tricky dilemma of having to brush off chocolate without making it melt onto my shorts. Everything seemed to go perfectly -- I managed to liberate my shorts of any chocolate threats. But alas, there was only one piece left. One damn little piece of chocolate. I think I had become too cocky in my chocolate-sweeping abilities because I tried to brush that bastard away, and dammit if it didn't instantly melt and leave a dark stain. Oh well. In other news, my stomach keeps making deep growly sounds that sound like farts but aren't. I'm praying that the woman next to me falls asleep so that I don't have to deal with the embarrassment much longer.
Anyhoo, it's 5:51 now on this laptop, which means it's really 8:51 on the East Coast. That means one thing: it's primetime! At nine, NBC has a new episode of Treasure Hunters. I don't know if I can bring myself to watch it here on the plane. I might have to save it for later. I wouldn't want to accidentally put myself to sleep.
5:53 PM
Sci-Fi has a Twilight Zone marathon on, and it's the famous episode with the beautiful woman whose face is in bandages the whole time. "Eye of the Beholder," I believe. It's the only episode of the Twilight Zone I've ever seen because it's the only one that's ever on. Hey Twilight Zone marathon: way to be original, jerks!
5:55 PM
MTV. Yay! Janelle is being a bitch to Svetlana on The Real World. I love stupid people.
5:56 PM
VH1 Classics has Grease on. It's nice to see some of John Travolta's early performances. Really dispels all those rumors about him.
5:57 PM
ESPN News: Ben Wallace is signing with the Bulls? What the? I'm so not happy about this. The best part, however, is that the sportscasters say "Big Ben signs with another team. But who? We'll tell you after the break!" Uh, someone might want to tell the ESPN people that "Ben Wallace to sign with Bulls" is written in a big box on the bottom of the screen.
6:00 PM
Okay, I must relent. Time to watch Treasure Hunters.
6:02 PM
Ooh! The teams are going to discover secrets of the American Revolution. This is almost as exciting as watching the person in front of me trying to readjust her pillow.
6:03 PM
Last episode, the teams were in Montana. Now they are randomly in Boston. No explanation. God, this show really sucks.
6:03 PM
Grad students dropping out. "We're not gonna go any further," the girls say. I'm shocked that Brad Fogal doesn't run up to Jessica, stomp on her foot, and say, "Just in case you were gonna change your mind..."
6:05 PM
Browns back in the game! You know what? I can't even take notes on this show right now. Sorry.
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Comments (14)
You're a history hater, aren't you, B-Side? That's why you don't like Treasure Hunters- you think you're back in school having to learn history again.
I watched one episode of Fast, Inc. It was okay but not that interesting. I assume we're meant to think these guys are cool and living some kind of dream life but I think they're a bit shady.
You were too nice with the Russian lady, B-Side. It's okay to tell someone they're being inconsiderate as long as you're polite when you do it.
Enjoyed the recap of your flight. Glad you made it back safe.
1 of 14 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on July 4, 2006 3:58 PM
great blog! Love the mini recaps.
Some thoughts:
Yeah, what is up with Fast Inc?? I watched one ep but lost interest when the main guy said "Hi, my name is Christian...the name, not the relgion." REALLY, genius? Hmmm could have fooled me. The sad thing is that line probably works on ALL the ladies!
My Fair Brady...the cast from RW Austin should take notes on these co-dependent, controlling freaks.
Mind of Mencia--yes, lame, lame comedian. Seems like he tries too hard.
Glad you had a safe flight! ***sprays rose water*** jk
2 of 14 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on July 4, 2006 4:02 PM
If the fourth of July fireworks hadn't been rained out here, I would not have read that. B-Side, you watched even lamer shows than I watched last night.
How many of us would it take to get Mind of Mencia off the air? Just watching the commercials during the Daily Show pisses me off.
3 of 14 | Posted by MrsPetersen
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Posted on July 4, 2006 4:47 PM
I wish I would sit next to you on a plane--I just flew a trans-Atlantic flight and got a guy who farted, snored, and showed off his "bottom" sex position outside the lavatories (he was doing stretching exercises in which he would bend over and wave his ass up and down ten times).
4 of 14 | Posted by Mark
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Posted on July 4, 2006 4:52 PM
Sounds like YOUR flight to Cali was good. Last time I flew [JFK - Orange County] was a nightmare. On American Airlines coming back the flight was jammed packed. I was forced next to a buisness-like guy and some young college dude while my family was in another row and waved. I'd rather not type what I waved back. Nothing but Under The Tuscan Sun and everybody Loves Raymond Re-runs...
Ha. Rachel Ray wierd how you mentioned her, shes building her studio two floors above where relatives sell furniture. The even more wierd part is just the other day she bought something off them.
5 of 14 | Posted by Terence
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Posted on July 4, 2006 5:16 PM
B-side, you are SO FUNNY! Wish there were pictures too. :)
6 of 14 | Posted by Clair
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Posted on July 4, 2006 5:37 PM
I guess we'll never have Robert Guillaume snarks in the future... and somehow this disappoints me.
7 of 14 | Posted by Double L
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Posted on July 4, 2006 7:25 PM
What a wonderful 4th of July Present!!
B-Side, I just love it when you fly. I'm tempted to just mail you airline tickets to get you to do some more flight-blogs.
8 of 14 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on July 4, 2006 8:10 PM
You really captured the flying experience. I am always the person who laughs really loud by accident and then feels all stupid. I couldn't agree more about Treasure Hunters and Mind of Mencia. When I accidently stumble upon Treasure Hunters, it's like a Pavlovian response (much like how I feel when an old Mash episode comes on and that STUPID theme song sears into my soul) and I can't change the channel fast enough.
I'm so mad that Comedy Central did not obey Dave Chappelle and they're airing his new episodes b/c that means he will not make any more shows. (He said he'd never go back if they aired the lost episodes). They need to just be his bitch and DO WHAT HE WANTS. I thought I was the only one that doesn't get Mencia. Chappelle does racial humor and it's smart and insightful, Mencia does it and it's like 'wow, you're a racist...but you're mexican.' He doesn't even get his ethnicities right. I don't get it. And that stupid 'doo doo doo' thing.
End o' rant.
9 of 14 | Posted by hanan5050
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Posted on July 5, 2006 9:56 AM
i had the worst jet blue experience ever this weekend. i missed my flight and they put me on standby and said i was person number 1. then they let some woman who was all pitching a fit on first, putting her as number "00" (so they obviously cut her in front of me in line). she got the only emply seat on the next flight, and i ws forced to cab it back to the port authorty and take the midnight greyhound to my destination, arriving at 6:30 am the next day. jet blue, screwing people over with a smile is not cool. nor was the 'hound at midnight. i blame you for that.
10 of 14 | Posted by Leah3t
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Posted on July 5, 2006 2:24 PM
My 8 hour flight from Chicago to Honolulu featured Big Momma's House 2, Last Holiday, and Windfall.
Not to mention there was a fairly large group of older black women who were just eating up the antics of Queen Latifah at about 3 AM.
11 of 14 | Posted by TheJackSack
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Posted on July 5, 2006 5:03 PM
I love how you perfectly explain the dilemma of eating a chocolate bar.
12 of 14 | Posted by shakeit
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Posted on July 5, 2006 6:20 PM
I feel so much better now that I know I am not the only one who suffers from the "stomach noises that sound like farts" problem. I love it when a coworker is in my office and it happens, forcing me to cough or clear my throat to cover the sound, like it's phlegm causing the problem or something. It used to happen during lectures in college too. Is there a support group?
13 of 14 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on July 6, 2006 10:55 AM
B-Side you rock.....
'nuff said.
14 of 14 | Posted by Phenom
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Posted on July 6, 2006 10:57 AM