I'm not a big fan of celebrity reality shows -- they tend to be overly staged in an effort to either protect or manage the star's image. The Surreal Life is about as close as I get to "celebreality," and even that tries my patience. It was with that mindset that I began watching Armed and Famous, the new CBS reality show that places five celebrities in the Muncie, IN police department and has them enforce the law. My expectations were low. Very low. But here's the shocker: Armed and Famous is awesome. Very little of it feels staged, the celebs take it seriously, and the cast's amiable rapport seems genuine. This is what The Simple Life should have been. Most critics have bashed it, probably in fear that their peers will think less of them, but let's not forget the writers who assail Armed and Famous are the same ones who affectionately praise The Class. Of course, since this is the blogosphere, I don't really care what other people may think of me for endorsing this silly show. So... ha!
There's only one problem with this show: it's not very recap-able. Much in the same way that it's impossible to recap a comedy, it feels weird trying to make jokes about things that the producers are already making jokes about. Needless to say, the premiere had several noteworthy moments that just can't go unnoticed.
The show began with the five recruits arriving at the Muncie, IN police department. Our "stars" were Erik Estrada, LaToya Jackson, Canadian WWE star Trish Stratus, Jack Osbourne, and Jackass favorite Wee Man (a.k.a. Jason Acuña). They seemed like a ragtag bunch, but they all approached this assignment very seriously, as they all told us in their interviews (which were filmed in EXTREME closeups. Needless to say, Latoya's surgically enhanced face was not what I wanted to see on my widescreen TV).
Anyway, off the get-go, the police officers seemed dubious of the celebs' commitment to the show, especially Jason and LaToya, but despite a preemptive scolding by the training officer, the stars seemed undeterred from their mission at hand. The cast dove into training with nary a hissy fit or a complaint.
First up, the gang had to learn the basics of a routine traffic stop. Erik Estrada boasted about his wealth of experience from the CHiPs days, but I'm not sure how a cop show from the '70s could have any bearings on modern day techniques. This was most evident during a drill when Erik demanded that a driver step out of a car, get on his knees, and put his hands on his head -- for a traffic violation. At least he fared better than LaToya who actually shot a man she had "pulled over."
LaToya, it turned out, had a bit of rage built up in her or something like that. She was a crazy woman when it came time for violence. During the hand-to-hand combat lessons, she managed to give Jack Osbourne a nasty welt, but I guess what goes around comes around. LaToya also fell victim to one police officer's vicious blows to her shoulders. I thought she'd burst into tears and storm out, but instead, she actually sucked it up pretty well. Good for Toy-Toy! Somewhere amidst this, she called her brother Jackie and revealed that she was training to be a cop. He was understandably shocked, and when he threatened to tell "Mother," LaToya pleaded for him to be quiet. DO NOT TELL MOTHER!
Later, the stars had to learn the fine nuances of the Taser. According to state law, no one could carry a Taser unless they'd been Tasered themselves. You know what that meant: time to fry some celebs! They all took the Tasering pretty well, even if Erik Estrada's testicles swelled up like water balloons. I particularly enjoyed LaToya's reaction to the Taser -- she basically collapsed on the floor in a swoon of pain. Most impressive, however, was Trish who requested to be actually shot with the Taser (everyone else was having prongs carefully attached to her back). Needless to say, it did not look like a particularly pleasant experience, but since Trish cut her teeth at the WWE, she showed little discomfort. I probably would have gone into a coma.
Finally, it was the moment we'd all been waiting for: gun training. To all those who ever thought it would be a bad idea to put a loaded gun in LaToya Jackson's hands -- you were right. Her bullets were flying everywhere. Only a few even hit the target. People of Muncie: do not leave your houses.
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Comments (13)
Glad to see you recapped this one. It's worth a second look tonite. It kinda has that "COPS" feel to it in a way.
1 of 13 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on January 11, 2007 3:57 PM
I tuned in expecting to see something completely horrendous and I didn't. It was as if the fact that they were going to "Protect and Serve" made them want to do their best.
Love the fact that lots of the good citizens turned out to watch the Graduation ceremony - hell, I would have.
Book 'em Estrada!
hb
2 of 13 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on January 11, 2007 3:59 PM
I want to be just like Ponch when I grow up. Teeth-wise, that is.
3 of 13 | Posted by T-Bag
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Posted on January 11, 2007 8:33 PM
B-side's been busy on another website's boards tonight, too.
Of course now that it has your seal of approval, I'm going to have to start to Tivo it now.
4 of 13 | Posted by susanarosa
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Posted on January 11, 2007 8:52 PM
-The only thing that made this noteworthy was that the punching victim had strange, deformed hands that looked kind of like talons. Jack described them as "crab hands,"-
have you not watched Niptuck?
5 of 13 | Posted by IrideBlimp
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Posted on January 11, 2007 11:28 PM
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU B-SIDE!!!!
I was hoping someone was going to recap the most craptastic show EVER.
"LaToya demanded that he step out, and in her soft, sweet voice (that was not unlike that one woman from Police Academy), she politely arrested him."
It was then too that I knew love for this show. I am impressed with both the "celebs" and the producers. Yay, rich people with guns!!!!
6 of 13 | Posted by pearlblackdragon
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Posted on January 12, 2007 8:14 AM
I attempted to watch this last night but didn't find it interesting. I must mention, however, that seeing LaToya refering to herself as a character on this show was pretty funny.
7 of 13 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on January 12, 2007 8:50 AM
I watched it on mute while talking to a friend, who was also watching on mute- which might have made this show even better because at one point it looked as though they were just busting into houses and arresting the drunkest person around. If they were arresting people for being drunk in the privacy of their own homes, or private drunkenness as I like to call it then this really is the best show on television. - but something tells me I missed something with the whole mute thing.
8 of 13 | Posted by Mallory
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Posted on January 12, 2007 9:23 AM
This show is really fun and entertaining! I am glad they all take it so seriously, I am sick of these reality shows where the Celebs have a "job" of some sort and fuck it all up.
I just hope, hope, hope, hope, hope none of these arrests or crimes are somehow staged or set-up by production because that would really suck!
The one I am most surprised by is Latoya. She's actually pretty endearing. And the phone call to her brother was the most Bizzarro thing EVER! "You didn't tell Mother, Jermaine, Tito, Michael?????"
All in all I LOVE this show already, and if anyone missed it you can see full eps on CBS.com
9 of 13 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on January 12, 2007 6:05 PM
You didn't recap Trish's assignment. Did she not have one, or was it just completely boring?
10 of 13 | Posted by sugarshane12
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Posted on January 13, 2007 6:49 AM
I'm from Muncie and let me tell you, some of the people here have completely FREAKED OUT about the show. They've done nothing but whine and complain. Me? I was pretty stoked that I might run into Erik Estrada, for I loved him when I was 9 and he was on CHiPs!
I was already excited about the show, pretty much just because it was shot in Muncie. I am really impressed at how the producers have approached the whole thing.
While the celebs were still in town, all reports I heard were of the celebs taking the job very seriously. (Of course, Estrada got reprimanded for getting into a screaming match with someone he arrested and Wee Man got in a bit of trouble for singing over the police radio.)
So far, all reports are that nothing was staged as far as cases go.
I think it's some of the best, worst and cheesiest "reality" on tv and I am happy it's being recapped here! I love TVGASM!
11 of 13 | Posted by angieb
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Posted on January 13, 2007 7:37 AM
I have been known to ask for a finger bowl in a restaurant, if they've served me a dish when I have to peel my own prawns, crack my own crab or lobster.
It's just a bowl with some warm water in it and, usually, also a thoughtfully placed slice of lemon.
Essential.
12 of 13 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on January 13, 2007 3:50 PM
What, no mention of Ponch farting? I laughed so hard when that happened, especially when he didn't even try to cover it up--it was, "man, he forced the air right out of me!"
13 of 13 | Posted by Helenann
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Posted on January 14, 2007 10:47 AM