Two years ago, my old boss had a baby. Unlike many women, she didn't take a lengthy maternity leave. Rather, she immediately came back to work to "produce film and television." However, while she was busy trying to feel important and create crap..Im sorry...cinema, her young remained at home with her newly hired, and overpriced, "Mexican mommy" and sans a teat from which to suckle the sweet nectar of life.
So, instead of taking time out of the day to go home and feed her filthy rich spawn, a future acquitted rapist or drug addict no doubt, my boss chose to stay at work and have a machine squirt juice from her top-fat bags into tiny little clear plastic packets, which she would then put in the office fridge next to the food which we all would eat.
Oh but the fun didn't stop there. When it came time to getting the packets of liquid life to the child, she asked me, a college graduate, to deliver it to her son. Yes, we have couriers who run scripts back and forth, sure we have interns who we use for virtually everything, but no...this was a job for me. And as I drove the breast milk, cleverly concealed in a manila envelope, I couldn't help but wonder why I needed 2 degrees from a credited university to be a tit-juice delivery boy. For me that moment defines what a big fat obnoxious boss is. Though FOX would disagree, putting less of a pity party spin on it and more of a spin of absolute hilarity.
Though last nights ratings will reflect otherwise, My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss was a juggernaut of comedy. Basically an unabashed spoof of "The Apprentice", Boss initially left me impressed with the production quality but a little miffed by the creative element.
In My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé, they spoofed the dating show, but gave it its own strong element, its own spin, much like For Love or Money, Joe Millionaire or Average Joe. It was its own show. Boss however is merely a spoof. A funny, strong, very well done spoof...with one potentially wicked lame twist.
In Boss, it is beat by beat a spoof, naysayer's will use terms like "rip-off", to The Apprentice. And, it is. Which I must admit, initially turned me off. I was hoping for a little but more creativity from the Rocket Labs who are pioneers of taking an old concept, completely shaking it up, and selling it as new. Once I was able to get past, the fact that it was a reality SNL sketch, I could sit back and enjoy it for what it was. So what is it?
Imagine if you will "The Apprentice" only really real. A business world where lies, espionage, sabotage, and other cool spy terms are praised and encouraged rather than scoffed and discouraged. 12 alleged "type A" personalities are gathered. Ya know, real go getters and each of them is vying for a job on the board of Iocor (Latin for Joker) Inc. In this series Mr. N. Paul Todd (an anagram for Donald Trump) is the reclusive billionaire who trumps over all. He is a lewd shrewd womanizing billionaire who is unapologetic and hesitates not a hair to brag about his many achievements. Which would be both scary and impressive, were it not for the fact that he is really just an actor whose financial security probably makes Joe Millionaire looks rich by comparison.
The potential of this fraud comes very quickly when the contestants are given a taste of the sweet life by consuming high end champagne and "food of the rich." All the contestants went ape-shit over the incredible expensive food and champagne. So what was it they were noshing on? The champagne wasn't a Dom or even a Crystal. This high end champagne, which elicited lip smackings and MMM's was so high end, they didn't mention the brand by name, most likely selfishly by the producers to help keep the cost on such a boutique-sipper lower. But they did indicate where one can acquire such a rare, expensive bottle of bubbly. Not in France or Italy. Not Germany or Tuscany. No, they could be found at a novel little winery in Chicago which goes by the name "local grocery store." How quaint. And the Orderves..Whoredourves...Hourse Devorce....ummmm....and the finger food they were eating, the specialty pate'. Bologna, Spam, Mustard. Those were the key ingredients. But the dupes, so wanting to be a part of this rich mans world put any obscure meat in their mouth like they were Mandy Rake at prom. (This reference is undoubtedly hysterical to those who attended Thunderbird High School in 1996, and no one else).
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Comments (8)
The red-head was on The Casino.
Remember the bachelor party when some of the chicks were harshing on the strippers?
The red-head was leading the charge.
1 of 8 | Posted by jer | Posted on November 8, 2004 1:04 PM
Okay, I just Googled to see if I could find any pictures or screencaps and couldn't.
I'm still pretty sure it's her though.
2 of 8 | Posted by jer | Posted on November 8, 2004 1:16 PM
Jer,
I think you may be right. And I am very impressed with the obscure pick up. I will have to find that screencap, or better yet video!!!
Madeyoulaugh
3 of 8 | Posted by madeyoulaugh | Posted on November 8, 2004 1:25 PM
i'm pretty sure she was on "the casino" as well. who can forget that forehead. i think one of the blondes from "boss" may have been the bachlorette on that episode.
4 of 8 | Posted by mattie | Posted on November 8, 2004 1:37 PM
That is the grossest boss story I have ever heard. What exactly was your job description? I would hope it had nothing to do with delivering another person's bodily fluids. I want to hear more stories about this boss so I can despise her as much as you do. Did I mention that is gross?
5 of 8 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on November 8, 2004 1:59 PM
Madeyoulaugh,
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who suffers from crippling "Who is that person? I totally recognize them." syndrome.
Jer
6 of 8 | Posted by jer | Posted on November 8, 2004 2:25 PM
I couldn't help but wonder why I needed 2 degrees from a credited university to be a tit-juice delivery boy. hehehhehe
My old boss did the same thing. It was pretty gross to have her breast milk in the fridge as well. And man it pisses me off when new moms go back to work.
I missed this show. But with such a grea re-cap, I just might have to catch the next one.
7 of 8 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on November 10, 2004 8:14 AM
My Big Fat Obnoxious fiance was my favorite show last season. I love watching people who think they are on "respectable" reality tv taking it right up the ass (though it might be more fun to literally see that, instead of using it as metaphor). This show is almost as good. Funnier than any comedy on (eg. Everyone Loves Gayman)
8 of 8 | Posted by yoboy | Posted on November 10, 2004 1:51 PM