Recap: jetBlue: Return to La La Land - 
by B-Side
Well, it's been a fun Thanksgiving holiday. I've enjoyed being able to put my feet up and watch TV for four days without taking the slightest note, but all relaxing things must come to an end; so here I am, back at the airport, preparing to fly back to the workaday mania of TVgasm. Oh, what am I talking about? I watch TV all day. It's not that "workaday." Nevertheless, if I'm at the jetBlue terminal, that usually means only one thing: time to bust out the laptop and blog the flight! Since it's Monday night and I'm flying through primetime, I should have a wide variety of programming to choose from. CBS has its usual crops of comedies that I'll be sure to ignore. FOX has the fall finale of Prison Break, which I would totally watch if I weren't already an episode behind. Plus, there's also an episode of House on, which I've probably already seen anyway. None of this matters though because I plan to spend a chunk of my six and a half hour flight watching Monday Night Football. Green Bay vs. Seattle. I don't care particularly for either team, but many fantasy football outcomes hang in the balance. With a little luck, my troubled teams will spark to life again, but in all likelihood, I'll probably be crying by the time I touch down. Alas.
5:29 PM
Well, this is great. I'm sitting here in the jetBlue wireless hotspot, all ready to go onto the Internets, but there's one problem: this hotspot is neither hot nor a spot. Discuss. That's right, despite what the signs are saying, none of us poor, techno-dicted passengers sitting in the hotspot can get any sort of online access. I wasn't sure if it was just me or not, but I didn't feel like being that guy who asks everyone "Are you... are you online by any chance? No? Oh, okay. Good. I thought it was just me [polite laugh]." This of course then means you have to sit through some dumb comment like "Real pain in the ass," to which I would then have to reply, "Yeah, I know." Luckily, however, someone two seats down from me stepped up and asked us this very question, thus confirming my fears that we all were offline. How very frustrating. jetBlue can't just tease us with promises of online access and then not provide. Then again, they did change cookie suppliers, and that wasn't cool either.
By the way, the guy who asked us all if we could get online is now laughing on the phone with his friend. I swear to god, he has a perfect cackle. I couldn't even emulate it if I wanted to. Basically, just imagine Snarf from Thundercats, except as a human.
Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom here in JFK. I was able to procure much better pre-boarding food than at Burbank. Unlike my Eastbound flight where I was stuck with nothing but a meager (but tasty) chocolate croissant, I have now purchased a veritable meal fit for a king (a king of a very, very small, insignificant country, that is). Just like I had over the summer, I bought a smoked ham and brie sandwich with a dark chocolate Toblerone for dessert. Yes, it should be a gourmet flight this evening. I just hope I can keep the tin foil shreds from getting all over the place (let alone those dangerous chocolate flecks).
5:38 PM
It's always funny when women with big breasts and no bras go running through a terminal.
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