Well, it's late November, and that means one thing for me: traveling back East for Thanksgiving! After my unfortunate dalliance with American Airlines back in September, I wound up back on my home turf: Jetblue, baby. But all was not the same. My journey revealed many unpleasant changes: new snacks, messy trays, MALFUNCTIONING SATELLITES!
The whole sordid mess after the jump...
1:57 PM
Okay, so here's the deal so far. Nothing too eventful has happened on this flight. For a brief moment, I thought Erika Christiansen might be joining us for this airborne adventure, but it turned out she was merely gabbing with a friend at the gate -- she had just arrived from NY in Burbank, not the other way around. Sadly, this meant the celebrity quotient for this trip was at a firm zero. Usually the Los Angeles to New York flights at Thanksgiving are chock full o'stars, but I clearly didn't compensate for the Burbank/JetBlue factor (considerably less appealing than first class American Airlines from LAX). One time, I had Matthew Perry, John Stamos, Lilly Tyler, and some other celebrity on my post-Thanksgiving flight. It was very exciting; although, nothing could compare to the time when David Hyde Pierce, Sarah Clarke (Nina from 24), Xander Berkley (Mason from 24 -- they're married in real life), Paul Tagliabue, and Gwyneth Paltrow all clogged up my plane with their star power. Anyway, I'm just name dropping now because there really is nothing eventful going on. Oooh! I almost forgot! The star quotient for this flight might not be zero. I think I spotted Jerry Ryan. Further reconnaissance at the baggage claim will be necessary.
In terms of the dining situation, I learned the hard way that Burbank is not what one might call a haven for pre-made sandwiches, which is what I really wanted. The first place I checked into sold only salads (not in the mood), wraps (ditto), and paninis. Now, paninis are nice and everything, but by the time I'd be ready to enjoy my mid-flight meal, the thrill of the grill would be gone. Chances are it would be either soggy or crusty or both. Point is, I didn't have faith that the panini would serve me well; so I did a private eye-rolling and moved onto my next option: Tully's Coffee.
I was hoping that maybe Tully's would have some basic sandwiches for sale, but alas, all they had was coffee (natch) and crappy pastries. Pass.
Last and certainly least on my culinary travels through the Burbank airport was some sort of hamburger station that also sold bagels. Because that makes sense. I'm never one to turn down a bagel, but I am one to turn down a bagel sold at a hamburger stand. It's like buying sushi in an Armenian restaurant: not a good idea. It became very clear to me that my dreams of a sandwich would not be coming to fruition.
Well, I needed to get something, and that's when I realized what I had to do. Of course! TOBLERONE! An airport tradition. I crossed my fingers that I'd be able to find a dark chocolate Toblerone, naively assuming that I'd be able to find any Toblerone at all. That's right. I couldn't find one. An airport without a Toblerone! My entire perception of the world just changed. How could this be? No Toblerone??? Well, now I was heading into emergency territory. No sandwich. No Toblerone. What, pray tell, could fill this void?
I needed to improvise. Think outside of the box. What would my next step be? I walked all the way across the terminal, back to the first panini place to draw inspiration. Luckily, I found my friend Lisa, who just happened to be on the same flight as me. I explained my dilemma to her, and the two of us perused the offerings together, but again, nothing appealed to me. She tried to sell me on the salads, and I should have listened -- seeing that salads are healthy and all -- but I wanted something more substantial.
We eventually wound up back at Tully's where I realized the best I was going to do was one of the chocolate croissants. Normally, the prospect of a chocolate croissant gets me very excited, but I know better than that. This was an airport chocolate croissant. A whole new beast. They're pretty much the cockteases of pastries. They look savory and delicious on the outside, but one bite, and you realize that this bad boy's been sitting out a while. Still, it was better than nothing, and so I purchased the middling pastry, somewhat disheartened that my odyssey had concluded in this way.
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Comments (30)
It's a Thanksgiving Feast! Nothing beats a B-Side flight recap! Yippee!!
And what a recap it was... the drama - what will he eat?
The intrigue - who knew an airport would not carry Toblerone?
The mystery - was it Jerri Ryan?
The horror - a hand on the tv - Eek!
"Ina's obligatory gay friend shows up. He kind of looks like Phil Keoghan. But gayer. Hence, gay friend."
B-Side, I usually don't want to rush holidays -but I can NOT wait for your return flight recap. Seriously, you do not travel enough.
1 of 30 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on November 22, 2006 4:39 AM
Okay, someone's phone just rang behind me. WTF, people? Do you want us all to crash and die??
i get so freaked out when people dont turn their phones off - i have a co-worker that refuses to. i hate flying with her cause i think we are going to die all the time - even though i saw the mythbusters where they tested this out...
2 of 30 | Posted by animalcrackers
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Posted on November 22, 2006 5:02 AM
Oooh, a flight blog! I LOVE these!!!
That's it. I'm done. I have nothing else to comment on. I laughed the whole way through, though.
3 of 30 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on November 22, 2006 6:33 AM
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets excited over the flight recaps! And here I thought I'd have nothing to do today at work but, you know - work.
Happy you managed to survive without the Toblerone!
4 of 30 | Posted by Barfly
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Posted on November 22, 2006 6:59 AM
B-side, are you sure you meant Jesse Bradford? He wasn't even in John Tucker must die, I think you were thinking of Jesse Metcalfe. And before anyone makes fun of me, no I did NOT watch that movie, I just wiki'd it :3
5 of 30 | Posted by Apple_Candy
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:13 AM
Star wattage for this flight = zero.
What do you mean B-side....YOU were on that flight!!
6 of 30 | Posted by LuvzSunshine
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:16 AM
"Okay, funeral guests. Let's begin. True or false: Ed Bradley enjoyed scuba diving. Funeral guests, I need an answer. I need an answer right now. Mike Wallace, you need to show me your paddle. MIKE WALLACE."
Oh, B-Side, how do you do this to me every time? I cannot not laugh at a joke about the Chenbot, even if it is when I'm reading the recap during my Writing About Literature class while we watch a movie (therefore, everyone is quiet and i look like an idiot). Thanks for the angry look from the prof!
But it was oh so worth it lol
7 of 30 | Posted by DickeyD
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:51 AM
I can't believe you used to work on 3 Sisters! I was so sad when that show got canceled because 1)it was pretty funny and 2)Rayanne Graff is the best character ever. Pretty much everyone in it was great. Seriously, Rayanne swung on a trapeze for Circus of the Stars-awesome. And now I think she is married to a prince, which is also exciting.
Flight recaps rock.
8 of 30 | Posted by boolaw
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:06 AM
Well now my holiday can officially start. And I second that awesome to working at Three Sisters, that actually was a funny show. Glad you got to New York safe, after such a tumultuous flight (not including the turbulance).
9 of 30 | Posted by pjtvqueen
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:42 AM
"Another assassination in Lebanon. So why is the NBC correspondent reporting from Fairfield, CT? Is there a Hezbollah outpost in Old Greenwich?"
I'm thinking the correspondent is in Fairfield 'cause it doesn't have a Hezbollah outpost. Much safer than Lebanon.
I have to agree with TinkerbellAPixie: you do not travel enough, B-Side. Love the flight recaps. Happy Thanksgiving!
10 of 30 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on November 22, 2006 9:32 AM
Jesse Metcalfe! That's who I meant. I always get him and Jesse Bradford confused. In fact, I knew I was writing the wrong name at the time, but without the internets, I couldn't correct myself! Thank you.
11 of 30 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on November 22, 2006 9:42 AM
Suggestion: B-Side, here's what you do. Try out for the Amazing Race, bring your laptop, then you'll be traveling from Keeev, Ukraine to London and stuff and have plenty of time to write these AND get to meet Phil.
12 of 30 | Posted by Steve
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Posted on November 22, 2006 10:30 AM
Thank you, B-Side!! I adore your flight blogs. Also, I have an enourmous crush on you, but you're so used to hearing that...
13 of 30 | Posted by Veronica De Bellegarde
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Posted on November 22, 2006 10:38 AM
I get such a thrill when I see that airplane pic, cause I know I am in for some good times!
14 of 30 | Posted by Victoria
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Posted on November 22, 2006 11:12 AM
HEY! My real name is Maude!
not really. It's Joannie.
no, I'm still messing with youse...
B, didn't you have a brush with a giant Toblerone last year, Joey-style?
15 of 30 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:01 PM
Hey! My real name is Maude!
not really. It's Joannie.
no, I'm still messing with youse...
B, didn't you have an encounter with a giant Toblerone last year, Tribbiani-style?
16 of 30 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:05 PM
aarrgghh -- the double post!
how embarrasment.
17 of 30 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:08 PM
#12 - Steve - That is a terrific idea! B-Side and J-Unit can go on TAR together, and we can get two times the flight blogging fun!
Gosh it would be a TVGasm in the purest sense of the word.
18 of 30 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:45 PM
Gotta say, that would be pretty awesome if B-Side and J-Unit were on Amazing Race together. They could blog the episodes before they even aired!
Love the travel blogs, they always give me a good laugh :)
19 of 30 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on November 22, 2006 2:36 PM
B-side, I love, love, love your flight recaps. Thanks!
20 of 30 | Posted by Volcat
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Posted on November 22, 2006 2:57 PM
I always love Jet Blue blogs!
21 of 30 | Posted by Double L
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Posted on November 22, 2006 3:58 PM
I love flight-caps! I'm actually still in shock about the hand on the TV - who would do such an evil thing? Also, I don't want to send you into a Nabisco-induced rage, but I'm fairly certain that they tried to pawn 100-calorie Oreo snack packs on us yesterday. (Doesn't that seem kind of bizarre? Are they tring to slim us all down and squeeze another passenger on?) I refused to take them and would not look the attendant in the eye.
22 of 30 | Posted by tvtvtv
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Posted on November 22, 2006 9:46 PM
i love flight recaps!
and yay, chitown!
(the lefties seriously did get screwed over, they could probably smell the milwaukee yeast on their side of the plane.)
23 of 30 | Posted by annna
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Posted on November 23, 2006 12:05 AM
i love flight recaps!
and yay, chitown!
(the lefties really did get screwed over, i'm sure they could smell the disgusting milwuakee yeast on their side of the plane, ewww....)
24 of 30 | Posted by annna
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Posted on November 23, 2006 12:07 AM
I think we should start a petition to get J-Unit and/or B-Side on every reality show out there. They've already penetrated Dancing with the Stars, Hell's Kitchen and ANTM (though not the penetration that J-Unit was hoping for -- zing!).
And think of it, if they were on TAR, they could physically reach over and tuck Phil's shirt in, guaranteeing us some PhilPackage goodness!
25 of 30 | Posted by Ms. Tumnus
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Posted on November 23, 2006 7:09 AM
Great recap, B-side.
The thing with the phones has nothing to do with interfering with flight controller signals. It's a big fat lie - they actually tell you to turn off your phone so your phone doesn't interfere with cellular networks on the ground. And, in fact, there will soon be in-flight cell services on planes. These services will allow you to make cell calls without interfering with ground networks.
26 of 30 | Posted by pageblank
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Posted on November 23, 2006 8:40 PM
I love your inflight recaps. They are just too much fun to read. I am dissapointed that your Chenbot eulogy didn't include a "but first".
Shame one you B-side.
27 of 30 | Posted by may1
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Posted on November 24, 2006 12:39 PM
I meant on you, not one you. stupid spelling.
28 of 30 | Posted by may1
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Posted on November 24, 2006 12:40 PM
Man, I need to fly JetBlue!
Just got home from my Frontier flight... they wanted $5 for TV service and $7 for crappy movies. For a 2.5 hour flights... I'll pass. And going we got a granola bar and on the way home chips... no snack basket to choose from :( B_Side you're living the life, nasty cookies and all :(
29 of 30 | Posted by CrazyTrain
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Posted on November 24, 2006 6:06 PM
"And, in fact, there will soon be in-flight cell services on planes. These services will allow you to make cell calls without interfering with ground networks."
Yeah, but will it let you make cell calls without annoying the crap out of everyone around you? Thought not.
30 of 30 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on November 25, 2006 1:47 PM