3:09 PM
On A&E, an episode of Crossing Jordan is just starting up. Funny story. Back in the day, I used to work on a show called Three Sisters (you know, with Dyan Cannon, Vicki Lewis, A.J. Langer. Eh, okay, never mind). Anyway, one day, Crossing Jordan needed to use our soundstage; so I was put in charge of guarding the Three Sisters set, lest any of those hooligans tried to -- you know what? This story is just dumb and boring. I guess that's what happens when you watch Crossing Jordan for more than two seconds.
3:13 PM
I'm seriously struggling without my full slate of channels, but at least I have Rachel Ray to keep me company. She's squawking about something. This reminds me: about that Rachel vs. Giada Iron Chef. I've been receiving several emails about it. The answer is yes, I did see it, and no, I'm not ignoring it. I was going to recap it last Tuesday, but a wrench was thrown into the plan (nothing too provocative -- just an unexpected guest dropped by), and I haven't had time since then. I will, however, do my best to put together a photo recap when I get back to Los Angeles next week. Better late than never, right?
3:19 PM
Awww. Crocodile Hunter. This is sad. And not particularly entertaining either. Time to change the channel before the veritable sting ray of boredom stabs me in the chest. OH, THAT WAS MEAN!
3:20 PM
The weather shows that it's 35 degrees in New York. Perfect. That means when I gloat about how it's been in the nineties for the past week or so in Los Angeles, it will be that much more effective.
3:23 PM
I love watching about how the terrorist alert level is high when I'm on an airplane.
3:29 PM
Dana Tyler of CBS News in NY asks us if the key to spicing things up in the bedroom involves spicing things up in the pantry. We then see an image of an onion bagel. ROMANCE INCARNATE! Don't even get me started on the aphrodisiac powers of an old fashioned egg bagel with jam!
3:32 PM
Okay, someone's phone just rang behind me. WTF, people? Do you want us all to crash and die??
3:33 PM
Another assassination in Lebanon. So why is the NBC correspondent reporting from Fairfield, CT? Is there a Hezbollah outpost in Old Greenwich?
3:34 PM
Am I the only one who always gets Andrea Mitchell and Andrea Kremer confused?
3:38 PM
Current affairs are cool and all, but like OMG John Tucker Must Die is on! Hey, remember when Jesse Bradford used be a promising new star? Yeah, that was funny. [ed. note -- I meant Jesse Metcalfe, not Jesse Bradford, although, the same comment still applies, swimfan].
3:43 PM
Here's a shock. John Tucker Must Die features the song "Dirty Little Secret" by the All American Rejects. Wow, how original for teen programming!
3:47 PM
I think there's a glitch. I'm not supposed to see John Tucker Must Die, and yet, I can. I'm supposed to swipe my credit card, but it appears as though my TV is fighting the system and showing me the movie regardless. Unfortunately, I have the words "Please Swipe Your Credit Card To Continue Watching This Service. Charge is 5.00" plastered on my screen. Kind of annoying. Almost as annoying as this movie. I want to change the channel, but I'm afraid if I do, I won't be able to come back. Is it worth it? Probably not. And yet, I can't deny free access to a pay-per-view movie!
3:50 PM
Turns out Ashanti acts as well as she can sing. That's not a good thing.
3:51 PM
WTF?? The man in front of me has just put his hand behind his head and ON MY TELEVISION. Lay off, old man!
3:52 PM
Okay, the hand's gone now. Hey, jerk: in case you were wondering, that warm feeling on the back of your headrest was MY TELEVISION SCREEN!!!
3:59 PM
Among the more contrived elements of this movie, Ashanti just happens to be addicted to... estrogen? Oh, okay. That makes sense. And guess who's gonna get a dose of estrogen too? That's right: John Tucker! Oh Ashanti with your revenge schemes!
4:01 PM
Brittany Snow is talking to a "nerd" (read: attractive guy who's clumsy) about meniscuses and whatnot in chem class. Get it? Because they have chemistry. The many layers of John Tucker...
4:05 PM
Booo! Hiss!! JetBlue finally figured out that I was offloading free John Tucker Must Die. Just when things were getting (un)interesting, the LiveMap suddenly appears on screen. Amazingly, this is already more entertaining than the past twenty minutes. Ooh look! Various states and lakes!
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Comments (30)
It's a Thanksgiving Feast! Nothing beats a B-Side flight recap! Yippee!!
And what a recap it was... the drama - what will he eat?
The intrigue - who knew an airport would not carry Toblerone?
The mystery - was it Jerri Ryan?
The horror - a hand on the tv - Eek!
"Ina's obligatory gay friend shows up. He kind of looks like Phil Keoghan. But gayer. Hence, gay friend."
B-Side, I usually don't want to rush holidays -but I can NOT wait for your return flight recap. Seriously, you do not travel enough.
1 of 30 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on November 22, 2006 4:39 AM
Okay, someone's phone just rang behind me. WTF, people? Do you want us all to crash and die??
i get so freaked out when people dont turn their phones off - i have a co-worker that refuses to. i hate flying with her cause i think we are going to die all the time - even though i saw the mythbusters where they tested this out...
2 of 30 | Posted by animalcrackers
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Posted on November 22, 2006 5:02 AM
Oooh, a flight blog! I LOVE these!!!
That's it. I'm done. I have nothing else to comment on. I laughed the whole way through, though.
3 of 30 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on November 22, 2006 6:33 AM
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets excited over the flight recaps! And here I thought I'd have nothing to do today at work but, you know - work.
Happy you managed to survive without the Toblerone!
4 of 30 | Posted by Barfly
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Posted on November 22, 2006 6:59 AM
B-side, are you sure you meant Jesse Bradford? He wasn't even in John Tucker must die, I think you were thinking of Jesse Metcalfe. And before anyone makes fun of me, no I did NOT watch that movie, I just wiki'd it :3
5 of 30 | Posted by Apple_Candy
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:13 AM
Star wattage for this flight = zero.
What do you mean B-side....YOU were on that flight!!
6 of 30 | Posted by LuvzSunshine
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:16 AM
"Okay, funeral guests. Let's begin. True or false: Ed Bradley enjoyed scuba diving. Funeral guests, I need an answer. I need an answer right now. Mike Wallace, you need to show me your paddle. MIKE WALLACE."
Oh, B-Side, how do you do this to me every time? I cannot not laugh at a joke about the Chenbot, even if it is when I'm reading the recap during my Writing About Literature class while we watch a movie (therefore, everyone is quiet and i look like an idiot). Thanks for the angry look from the prof!
But it was oh so worth it lol
7 of 30 | Posted by DickeyD
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Posted on November 22, 2006 7:51 AM
I can't believe you used to work on 3 Sisters! I was so sad when that show got canceled because 1)it was pretty funny and 2)Rayanne Graff is the best character ever. Pretty much everyone in it was great. Seriously, Rayanne swung on a trapeze for Circus of the Stars-awesome. And now I think she is married to a prince, which is also exciting.
Flight recaps rock.
8 of 30 | Posted by boolaw
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:06 AM
Well now my holiday can officially start. And I second that awesome to working at Three Sisters, that actually was a funny show. Glad you got to New York safe, after such a tumultuous flight (not including the turbulance).
9 of 30 | Posted by pjtvqueen
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Posted on November 22, 2006 8:42 AM
"Another assassination in Lebanon. So why is the NBC correspondent reporting from Fairfield, CT? Is there a Hezbollah outpost in Old Greenwich?"
I'm thinking the correspondent is in Fairfield 'cause it doesn't have a Hezbollah outpost. Much safer than Lebanon.
I have to agree with TinkerbellAPixie: you do not travel enough, B-Side. Love the flight recaps. Happy Thanksgiving!
10 of 30 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on November 22, 2006 9:32 AM
Jesse Metcalfe! That's who I meant. I always get him and Jesse Bradford confused. In fact, I knew I was writing the wrong name at the time, but without the internets, I couldn't correct myself! Thank you.
11 of 30 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on November 22, 2006 9:42 AM
Suggestion: B-Side, here's what you do. Try out for the Amazing Race, bring your laptop, then you'll be traveling from Keeev, Ukraine to London and stuff and have plenty of time to write these AND get to meet Phil.
12 of 30 | Posted by Steve
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Posted on November 22, 2006 10:30 AM
Thank you, B-Side!! I adore your flight blogs. Also, I have an enourmous crush on you, but you're so used to hearing that...
13 of 30 | Posted by Veronica De Bellegarde
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Posted on November 22, 2006 10:38 AM
I get such a thrill when I see that airplane pic, cause I know I am in for some good times!
14 of 30 | Posted by Victoria
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Posted on November 22, 2006 11:12 AM
HEY! My real name is Maude!
not really. It's Joannie.
no, I'm still messing with youse...
B, didn't you have a brush with a giant Toblerone last year, Joey-style?
15 of 30 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:01 PM
Hey! My real name is Maude!
not really. It's Joannie.
no, I'm still messing with youse...
B, didn't you have an encounter with a giant Toblerone last year, Tribbiani-style?
16 of 30 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:05 PM
aarrgghh -- the double post!
how embarrasment.
17 of 30 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:08 PM
#12 - Steve - That is a terrific idea! B-Side and J-Unit can go on TAR together, and we can get two times the flight blogging fun!
Gosh it would be a TVGasm in the purest sense of the word.
18 of 30 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on November 22, 2006 1:45 PM
Gotta say, that would be pretty awesome if B-Side and J-Unit were on Amazing Race together. They could blog the episodes before they even aired!
Love the travel blogs, they always give me a good laugh :)
19 of 30 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on November 22, 2006 2:36 PM
B-side, I love, love, love your flight recaps. Thanks!
20 of 30 | Posted by Volcat
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Posted on November 22, 2006 2:57 PM
I always love Jet Blue blogs!
21 of 30 | Posted by Double L
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Posted on November 22, 2006 3:58 PM
I love flight-caps! I'm actually still in shock about the hand on the TV - who would do such an evil thing? Also, I don't want to send you into a Nabisco-induced rage, but I'm fairly certain that they tried to pawn 100-calorie Oreo snack packs on us yesterday. (Doesn't that seem kind of bizarre? Are they tring to slim us all down and squeeze another passenger on?) I refused to take them and would not look the attendant in the eye.
22 of 30 | Posted by tvtvtv
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Posted on November 22, 2006 9:46 PM
i love flight recaps!
and yay, chitown!
(the lefties seriously did get screwed over, they could probably smell the milwaukee yeast on their side of the plane.)
23 of 30 | Posted by annna
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Posted on November 23, 2006 12:05 AM
i love flight recaps!
and yay, chitown!
(the lefties really did get screwed over, i'm sure they could smell the disgusting milwuakee yeast on their side of the plane, ewww....)
24 of 30 | Posted by annna
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Posted on November 23, 2006 12:07 AM
I think we should start a petition to get J-Unit and/or B-Side on every reality show out there. They've already penetrated Dancing with the Stars, Hell's Kitchen and ANTM (though not the penetration that J-Unit was hoping for -- zing!).
And think of it, if they were on TAR, they could physically reach over and tuck Phil's shirt in, guaranteeing us some PhilPackage goodness!
25 of 30 | Posted by Ms. Tumnus
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Posted on November 23, 2006 7:09 AM
Great recap, B-side.
The thing with the phones has nothing to do with interfering with flight controller signals. It's a big fat lie - they actually tell you to turn off your phone so your phone doesn't interfere with cellular networks on the ground. And, in fact, there will soon be in-flight cell services on planes. These services will allow you to make cell calls without interfering with ground networks.
26 of 30 | Posted by pageblank
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Posted on November 23, 2006 8:40 PM
I love your inflight recaps. They are just too much fun to read. I am dissapointed that your Chenbot eulogy didn't include a "but first".
Shame one you B-side.
27 of 30 | Posted by may1
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Posted on November 24, 2006 12:39 PM
I meant on you, not one you. stupid spelling.
28 of 30 | Posted by may1
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Posted on November 24, 2006 12:40 PM
Man, I need to fly JetBlue!
Just got home from my Frontier flight... they wanted $5 for TV service and $7 for crappy movies. For a 2.5 hour flights... I'll pass. And going we got a granola bar and on the way home chips... no snack basket to choose from :( B_Side you're living the life, nasty cookies and all :(
29 of 30 | Posted by CrazyTrain
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Posted on November 24, 2006 6:06 PM
"And, in fact, there will soon be in-flight cell services on planes. These services will allow you to make cell calls without interfering with ground networks."
Yeah, but will it let you make cell calls without annoying the crap out of everyone around you? Thought not.
30 of 30 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on November 25, 2006 1:47 PM