TVgasm Recaps

Thanks to writers strike there is a whole slew of new reality shows. I was lucky enough to get the assignment to recap Miss America: Reality Check, which airs on TLC. Bitchy queens living together? DRAMA! Also, you know that means lots of big hair, bad bangs, Vaseline smiles and overdone makeup. How does your state measure up? Find out after the jump!

Welcome back to the pageant world, my friends! Miss America: Reality Check is back again with another boring episode. Last week we got to meet the girls and learn that they are about to be transformed! Sounds exciting, right? WRONG. I have a little equation for all you lovely readers: zero drama + zero tears + zero freak-outs = NebbGirl being one sad recapper. Who else is with me?

PAAAAAAAAGEANTS!

We're back again with another installment of Miss America: Reality Check. I've decided that TLC makes the most boring reality shows ever. Take some pointers from VH1 then call me. What dull things do the ladies do this week? Find out after the jump!

We're back with the last installment of the transformation of a lifetime! Oh, it's just Miss America: Reality Check. Never mind. But we do get to say goodbye to the queens and see who's made it into the final top three. See how they did after the jump!

Okay, so I was in L.A. a couple of weekends ago for my BF's birthday, and I called up Flipit and Juddfan to see if they wanted to come see a drag show that my BFF Erick told me about (one of his other F's was performing in it) and they were both like, "Who is this? How did you get my number?" Hahaha, guys. Eventually I convinced them to come, so we all met up at a place out in Silverlake for an evening of what turned out to be not only insanely wacky drag performances, but unbeknownst to me this was actually part of a drag pageant. As many of you may know, I live for drag pageants, and I wind up usually attending several per year, both on a local level here in Phoenix, and also on a National level. I have helped several friends compete, choreographed dance routines (and danced for them), safety-pinned dress straps, and even helped tape unruly penises back into place (something that rarely happens in real-girl pageants). So imagine how excited I was for Flipit and Juddfan to finally experience a pageant with me! Unfortunately, this pageant was one of the lower-end local events I've ever been to...

...for starters, this is last year's winner...

And no, that's not Carrie Prejean. I don't think. Anyhow, these girls may not have been so pretty, but they were a spirited bunch, and at one point (while we were watching a Cher impersonator whose dick was busily trying to pop out of her body stocking) Flipit leaned over to me and said "Hey, do you want to do a write up on the 2010 Miss America Pageant next weekend?" and I said, "Sure, it sounds like fu--" and then I got whopped in the eye when Cher's body stocking gave way. SO, come with me and let's see how the real girls do it compared to the "ladies" I'm used to dealing with after the jump!