We start off with seeing the tops and bottoms ceremony from last week. That's just a joke that will never die. Miss Alaska doesn't understand why she was put in the bottom three. Miss Alaska also doesn't understand the term overbearing and annoying. She asks for feedback so she can improve.

Hey Alaska, you have something brown on your nose.

Miss Florida is joining her fellow green teammates and decides it's time to reveal her deep dark secret. I'm literally sitting on the edge of my seat hoping that whatever it is involves her having a sex change operation. Unfortunately, no dice. She was involved in an explosion when she was 15 and it burned the top three layers of her skin off, which explains why she is self-conscious without makeup. I can't make fun of that. Sympathy vote maybe? Okay, I'm done.

Miss Hawaii cries when she hears Florida's news, and tells her how amazing she is on the inside as well as the outside. Hawaii also confesses her love for Florida and says she can't wait to see her without any makeup on. I think someone should hide Florida's makeup. Could you imagine the meltdown that would ensue? Oh my god, I would pay someone to sneak backstage at the pageant and do it.

Obviously, the girl on the laptop isn't very concerned.

The next morning the girls are primping for their next challenge. They really have come a long way haven't they? I'm sure this challenge will be just as exciting as last time. Hopefully it involves alcohol. Because let's be honest here people, you know that's the only way you're watching this show. Every time Miss Military claims she doesn't know what she's doing, take a shot. You'll be wasted in 10 minutes flat.

This time there are giant teeter-totters and buckets of colored water corresponding to each team. The object is to, one at a time, run across the seesaw while carrying a martini glass of water (what a tease) and dumping it in the bucket on the other side. If this were The Inferno they would also have to eat worms and try to knock their opponents down in a giant mud pit. Is that too much to ask from a reality show?

First team to fill their bucket to the line wins an advantage at the next event. So far the advantages have been less than thrilling. The first dibs on the showers prize was never mentioned again. I personally can not believe that only seven showers for all these girls and all their primping is not causing drama. On America's Next Top Model there was drama with the giant shower and seven girls.

Oh, and you can't forget the advantage of winning the makeovers by the head professionals and not just the lowly employees. It's not like the girls that didn't win really got the shaft or something and were not allowed to get makeovers. That woulda been sweet. But for some reason the queens still want to win this challenge, and they cheer and scream things that only dogs can here.

Apparently the point is to teach our girls to keep their poise under pressure, something they will surely need in the pageant itself. I mean, I'm so sure they will have to run up and down a giant seesaw at the pageant. Just like old times. As the camera is panning the crowd I see Miss Charity Case 2008 is on team underdogs. Coincidence?

"Wait, I have to walk and carry a drink, but I'm not allowed to drink it? Ok. Got it."

The competition is okay. We have some wipeouts that rate at a two on the excitement factor. It comes down to light blue and pink. The pink team is smart and decides not to unclip the helmet; just slide it off each time. And yes, they need a helmet for this challenge, but no worries, in the pageant they are all on their own. Fingers crossed no one wipes out and crushes their skull.

With this smart advantage Miss Vermont wins it for pink! Finally she does something right. Oh, and she's also on team underdogs. Team Underdogs is just another word for the most homely looking girls in the bunch.

« The Amazing Race: Anchorage, Thy Name is Nicolas | | Friday Night Lights: Jesus Is So Hot Right Now »

Posted in Miss America by NebbGirl at 12:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: weezy60 on Jan 27, 2008 10:31 AM.