Michael tells them they are going to test their intelligence today since they have a bad rap, and the Miss Teen USA's infamous fiasco with Miss South Carolina didn't help their cause. Miss New Jersey tries to tell us how the girls here are the most smart, errr smartest...oh wait she doesn't know how to speak properly either! Way to crush the stereotype Jersey.
Pageant oath number two: When you don't have anything smart to say, smile and nod.
Each girl that gets the answer wrong is out and must...GASP...JUMP IN THE POOL! THE HORROR! THE HORROR! The last girl standing wins it for her team.
Miss Florida is bitching already about how she doesn't want to go in the pool. Does she give off a mannish quality to anyone else? Well she's out the first round and almost has a freaking panic attack about jumping in and messing up her makeup. Wow, there's a stereotype if I ever heard one. She eventually jumps in and there's this music playing as if she just accomplished her goal in life. She didn't just actually create world peace here people.
Do you see a hint of an adam's apple too?
Some of the girls are doing pretty decent, though the questions aren't all that difficult. No one else seems too freaked about getting wet either, until Miss DC jumps in and crawls out the side of the pool gasping for air. I think she's faking it. Or her mascara ran into her eyes, but she claims she had an asthma attack.
Pageant oath number three: If you're going to attract attention to yourself, make it believable.
She has a lot of practice faking it.
We are down to our last two contestants, Miss Colorado and Miss Jersey. The question is "What country is Borat from?" Time out. Is this really testing the intelligence of the girls? Or their pop culture knowledge. Colorado has no idea, Jersey knows its Kazakhstan and she wins!
Somehow I didn't notice until now, that Jersey is on the Brown-Eyed Girls team, which was the most winning combination with brown hair and brown eyes. Unless I'm losing it, this chick is blond, or at least faking blond. Maybe they really had no other team for her to be on. Must suck to not to fit in anywhere! Good luck, Jers you got no one!
She just found out that blondes don't have more fun.
Anyway, now that the girls are all natural looking after their dunks in the pool, Michael tells them they are getting makeovers! YAY! Maybe we can finally have some drama up in here. I need to see a bitch cry.
Their look is going to be assessed by expert hair stylist, Kim Vo, and make-up guru, Napoleon Perdis. After their makeovers they are going to take new headshots. Since Jersey's team won they get their hair and makeup done by the experts. The other girls get to use the staff. Waaaa, waaa. Debbie Downer in the house.
Kim Vo is one scary mo-fo.
Would it have been too much to ask for the girls to give each other makeovers? Can you imagine queens cutting each other's hair? We would definitely see the claws come out then. "Oopps, I'm soooooooo sorry! I didn't mean to cut it that short. No no, you don't look like a boy!"
The experts give basic advice to the girls. It's the same old same old about less makeup, and looking more natural. I'm bored. Sadly there are no ginormous drawings of what they are going to look like when they are done, only Tyra has those connections. Kiss her fat ass!
Do we have a diva in the house? Miss Illinois is told they want to cut three inches off her hair, and she says she'll pass. WHAT?! She is turning down expert advice and a makeover! The advisors are just as shocked as Kim and Napoleon are, and I am praying this finally turns out to be some sort of drama. Can we PLEASE see some tears? I really can't take it much longer. Happy girls squealing all the time is enough to make me quit watching reality TV.
Its makeover time ladies! The queens are ready for a change and Illinois looks on, proud of her decision but also totally jealous that she isn't getting pampered like everyone else. You can't say that you don't want their help and still expect them to play with your hair sweetheart.
Pageant oath number four: Never ever show regret for a past decision.
There's no frowning in pageants.
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Comments (4)
Is there something wrong with wearing your sash in the shower? I thought that was normal...my bad.
1 of 4 | Posted by deez | Posted on January 16, 2008 7:14 AM
miss florida looks like eddie furlong
2 of 4 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on January 16, 2008 7:56 AM
I thought that screen capture of Illinois in her rollers would involve some sort of oompa loompa reference.
3 of 4 | Posted by sour orange | Posted on January 16, 2008 11:19 AM
Hahahaha, you are exactly right, tvkitty. Miss Florida = Eddie Furlong!
4 of 4 | Posted by Braps | Posted on January 16, 2008 11:43 AM