Testimonials

Miss Indiana is in serious need of help, and she's ready for it. She says that no one has told her any different so she was stuck with the pageant look. But she happily allows them to make her pretty. Hopefully they get rid of her clown makeup. She claims she doesn't know any better; I claim she's addicted to blue eye shadow and the 80's want their look back.

D-E-B-B-I-E-G-I-B-S-O-N, S-O-N, S-O-N, Debbie, Debbie Gibson!

Another queen eager to get transformed is Alaska. Looks like she is getting twelve inches of hair cut off. Okay, now that HAS to be enough to make a girl cry. But again I'm disappointed because everyone oohs and ahhhs while it's happening and Alaska loves all the attention on her. She takes her cut off braid and does an Indian chant, like the one you did in elementary school because you didn't know any better. Everyone just stares at her and I can't help but wonder how all of Alaska is feeling right now at their representation.

When I did this in the 2nd grade, Mrs. Freeman called my mom.

Miss Military is chatting off her makeup artist's ear, talking about how she loves challenges, which is why she did marathons, joined the military and now is attempting pageants. Apparently, being in a pageant is the hardest of all. I mean, duh, it's really hard to act like a woman when you are a woman, how do the rest of us survive?

Advisor Mark shows up to...advise. I'm not sure why he isn't the photographer for this shoot since that is his profession. Apparently he's too busy bitch slapping the girls in to shape. He tries to tell Miss Washington that she is prettier when she has the wet look, from the pool as opposed to the primped look. Wash is not feeling the frizzy hair look and laughs at his comment. Frizzy hair is not hott.

"You like my whaaaaaat?!"

Miss Illinois had to get ready alone since she had turned down the help. Advisor Mark is pissed that she didn't take the makeover. He tells her she'll always be the girl that didn't take Napoleon's advice - it's very Lisa Love.

Miss Military informs us that she doesn't know how to take pictures and starts acting all goofy. She is fishing for compliments from the not-Mark-photographer but his patience is wearing thin and he tells her to step aside and watch the other queens.

It's official. I don't like Miss Military. She is that type of girl who knows she's cute and everyone loves, but she acts all dumb and innocent so people will tell her just how awesome she is. The same types of girls I did not vote for to let in to my sorority. How much do you want to bet that she's the kind of girl who takes her own picture and puts it on her Myspace so people will compliment how pretty she looks? Annoying bitches aren't cool. Man, I am fired up!

TEARS! TEARS! Alaska is crying to a few of the girls about being misunderstood or some shit like that. I think she tries to talk over my head because half the time I really don't know what she's saying. Maybe she is super smart. Maybe I just don't speak crazy pageant.

I hear her tears turn to ice when they hit the ground.

Time to talk about the girls behind their backs! The advisors note who stood out in this round (i.e. the six that were centered around this episode - stupid editors.) It leaves no element of surprise. Basically, they are pretty pissed at Miss Military for her shenanigans, feel bad for DC and think Alaska is overbearing. Cut to what is referred to as the "Tops and Bottoms Ceremony". I laugh at this because obviously I'm immature.

Come on down Indiana, DC, Military, Washington, Illinois and Alaska some of you are about to get your heart ripped out and trampled on national television!

Indiana - Top - Advisors like that she was willing to change.
DC - Top - They believe she was real with the asthma attack. I believe she's a good actress.
Military - Bottom - Everyone's pissed she dissed them (she tried to apologize - while giggling profusely.)
Washington - Bottom - Needs to show more confidence.
Illinois - Top - Turned down makeover, but listened to advice and still took great pictures.
Alaska - Bottom - She's at an eight, they need her at a two.

I bet she got booted from Tom's top eight.

Next week looks like more bathing suits, walking the catwalk, Alaska looking for redemption and Florida revealing some crazy secret (maybe that she used to be a dude? Just saying.)

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Posted in Miss America by NebbGirl at 3:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: Braps on Jan 16, 2008 11:43 AM.