This week on Models of the Runway nothing much happens. Shocking, I know.
Well moments before...Meth Johnny and Nicholas were getting schooled on the runway by her royal highness, Heidi Klum. Nicholas's dress was boring:
And Johnny's did not impress them:
So Emarie and Celine are shaking in their stilettos. Emarie is quite vocal about how amazingly talented Johnny is, how he should definitely not go home, and that he deserves another chance.
We all saw the tantrum he threw when Tim told him his first dress was ridiculous, and then the story he told about the iron. I'm so confused about that iron story. It's stupid and sad that he felt like he needed to lie, but it's also kind of dumb how offended everyone is over it. Even Tim took great exception to Johnny's story on the runway. Why would Tim care? Anyhoo, Johnny's out and Emarie is prime for the chopping. The suspense is long gone now that designers and models are pretty much paired for good. Let's see what this episode will present to us as entertainment...
Meanwhile Kalyn is elated that Irina won the challenge with her paper trenchcoat:
Tim even referred to some paper raincoat from the 60s when he saw what Irina was working on. That is just absurd. A paper raincoat? Unless that paper is laminated, you might as well be naked. And Tim tells the story with drop dead sincerity. So this is the fashion world. They take themselves so seriously that when someone designs a toilet paper bathing suit they all sit around nodding lest anyone suspect they don't understand this latest milestone. People, the emperor has no clothes. Or he's standing in a cloudburst wearing newspaper while the nearby homeless are smart enough to huddle under a plastic tarp. Is it fashion irony? Is it avant garde? No wonder I shop at Forever 21.
Emarie is very sad to be losing her good buddy Johnny and she tells the other models about the fabled "Dior" dress that was ruined by the steamer. And even though Project Runway ended five minutes ago, still no one's buying it.
But here comes Johnny to hug Emarie goodbye and tell everyone that he's fine and had tons of fun. And also that Nicholas is a huge douche for throwing him under the bus. He warns Celine that Nicholas will be out next, so she better be ready to go. Celine literally shakes her head and says, "Whatever." I like her! We haven't seen much of her, but that little reaction there was great.
Onto the runway to remember that none of these girls is anywhere near as spectacular as Heidi. She asks the girls if any of them have worn paper before. No they haven't, because none of them live on the street. In a triumph of irrelevancy, Heidi announces that she once wore an 18 foot python. Fascinating. Then she says, "That was not so schön."
Ich liebe Deutsch! Schön means beautiful or great, so I guess the python is OUT. We learn that the designers forbade their models from sitting, eating, using the bathroom, basically LIVING between the time they got dressed and the show, which ended up being seven or eight hours. And thus we learn another grand challenge of being a model. I admit, I would complain if I were in this situation. But then I'd remember how much models get paid and I'd shut the crap up and hold the crap still. Vanessa announces to the other girls that she's wearing Depends and I can't tell if she's joking or not. Dream Team, bah. More like Oops I Crapped My Pants Team.
Lisa, who wore this:
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Comments (8)
"Is she going to open it up and sell paper watches?"
Honey, this is why I love your recaps. They don't give you much with this show, but you manage to pull out some funny stuff.
Once again, the over-the-top histrionics at a models departure slayed me. These chicklets act like the women are being sent to the guillotine. Stop already, as Honey and FatMa have pointed out, there are less fortunate folk in the world,who have bigger things to worry about than whether Emarie (this name always makes me think she is the online version)goes home, LOL.
I still can't tell half of these models apart - they all blend into a blob in my head. Looking foward to a little change up this week, otherwise this show would become even more of a snore fest. Still don't like FatMa, still love Koji but they are the only ones that stand out in my mind.
Big hugs, Honey - great job. oxox
1 of 8 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on September 22, 2009 10:46 AM
I would so hate this show if then we didn't have your recap to read stuff about toilet paper swimsuits and all that.
"Or he's standing in a cloudburst wearing newspaper while the nearby homeless are smart enough to huddle under a plastic tarp. Is it fashion irony?" Are those homeless wearing Derelicte?
Not to keep defending the pile-on that that episode was, but if the judges had bought Johnny's bullshit and given his dress the benefit of the doubt because after all the poor guy had to come up with something after the horrible accident that destroyed his Dior-like masterpiece, then someone else would have gone home (not that it really matters, it's all so subjective.) Nicholas didn't have to be bitchy about it, but if it had been me, I would also have spoken up. As for Tim, I'll forgive him anything. But yeah, the PR episode left a lot of us with a sour taste because they kept piling ridicule and bitchery on a recovering addict. There are a lot of qualifiers to all this, so I'll just hope Johnny can cope and keep loving Project Runway anyway.
I don't know if it's the face, the hair or the attitude, but Vanessa totally reminds me of Jane in Mad Men (Roger Sterling's ex-secretary trophy wife.)
Thank god the designers will be forced to change their model next week. However, it's too much to wish that they would do it before the PR challenge, which means that we will once again know what model is going home once we know which designer (Nicholas) is going home. Pointless. I wish Ra'mon (enough already with "creative" name spellings, I just saw somebody's name spelled Aschleiy in my newspaper today!) had done the "wrong" thing and added a tiny bit of drama to this episode! Other than Fat Ma's stupid paranoid whiney kind of drama, of course.
Unless they adopt Itchy's recommendations, I can't see this show even being on air next season. Its only redeeming quality is that the model selection part was usually the second most boring part of any PR episode (the hair-and-makeup weekly shots being always the most boring.)
2 of 8 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on September 22, 2009 10:48 AM
So I had this thought about Kalyn (huh? Is that a name? Or was her mom too lazy to pronounce the T?):
Suppose we could go to an alternate universe and rewrite her life story --she would be exactly the same person, except: She'd have been ugly as a child.
Where would she be now? My guess, given her obvious stupidity, is in a trailer park expecting her third child while "negotiating" with the landlord to pay the rent.
Ah well. It's about all that there is to do while this borefest goes on and on. At least it's only 20 minutes.
3 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 22, 2009 12:17 PM
Gee Itchy, tell us how you really feel- i kid, I kid . . .
Kalyn is a bit awkward looking, but in a cute way. I don't really like Lisa's look, or Katie's . . . but I hate to be hateful for no good reason. Ra'mon is a whimp-ily whimp, this is the second time he had a chance at a rack and passed . . . . sigh . . . . tho I do understand that he cares for Vanessa as a person. Ps, I'm the whorst whimp in the whorld, so I should talk-kahem.
she was DRAINED, people. Drained, do you understand?
Love you Honey! And loved the Depends comment, and even more coz I don't think she was joking . . . BWAHAHAHAHA
4 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 22, 2009 5:23 PM
Heh, I missed my calling, I should've been a diplomat. ;-D
The point is, the only reason why Kalyn is 'cute' is because she's pretty. Anyone else that blissfully stupid would be considered 'challenged'.
5 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 22, 2009 11:02 PM
Is it just me or does anyone else think Vanessa looks like Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts had a love child? To me, she is the prettiest.
6 of 8 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on September 23, 2009 2:44 AM
Hey Snootchy,
I posted last week that I think she looks like a cross between Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman. I can't decide if I think she's pretty or not. I think Kalyn and Celine are pretty.
7 of 8 | Posted by LindaLC | Posted on September 23, 2009 11:26 AM
Call me crazy, but there's a sweetness attached to her being "simpler" and she seems rather agreeable--I think pretty doesn't always mean an advantage, if you're an ugly, soul sucking vampiric biotch (like myself-hee)
I agree Snootchy and Linda--I can see both, and Vanessa is striking, but like most of these coat hangers, kinda boney!
I like Matea's look (or whatever her name is) and I loved Valerie . . . sob . . . I can't believe she's leaving, the injustice, the pain, waaaaaahhhh!!!! Ooops, got carried away just like them.
8 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 23, 2009 11:57 AM