Moments before... it's the same as always. The Models of the Runway whose designers are in the bottom two are quivering with fright.
This week Ra'mon and Louise sucked the worst, so Vanessa and Fat Ma are feeling like fools in their so-called "movie costumes." Vanessa is really the one actually LOOKING like a fool, however, as Ra'mon threw together a last-minute lizard lady dress for her from which she even peeled off a strip of material as she strutted down the runway. Still no one knows what that was about.
Fat Ma doesn't really look ridiculous; it's just that Louise's "story" was ridiculous. An out-of-work actress in the 40s going to a party dressed like a flapper?
Try again, Louise. Supernatural stories seemed to work well with this challenge, so maybe if she had been a 400-year-old sorceress from Planet Flapper this would have worked. Well, Ra'mon lost and so Vanessa is pretty sure she's going home.
Nicholas won for dressing Celine up like a snowflake queen from a distant star, but I have my suspicions that her hair and makeup went a long way with getting him the win because they kept stressing that this was a L'OREAL CHALLENGE and Celine looked like this:
Celine explains that they sprayed dry shampoo in her hair and drizzled sugar water from the top of her head to make her look frozen. Then she says, "Come on, give me some credit, I had sugar all over me. I mean, I better win something." Celine, there are few days when I DON'T have sugar all over me and no one's handing me any prizes. Of course, mine is of my own doing as I cram candy and other goodness into my face, but still. The complaining models drive me nuts. Is she afraid she'll get fat by osmosis?
The girls try to collect themselves in the model tank and Fat Ma tells us she can't do this anymore. Will it be back to Africa then, Fat Ma? To deal with some REAL problems? Ra'mon comes in to say goodbye and apologize to Vanessa, who says, "I had a lot of fun doing it. And I had so much fun." She's the girl from week one who said, "a space suit from outer space." Her new name is Redundant. Both because of how she talks and because of what she is.
Heidi time! Redundant complains that she didn't like the outfit she had to model this week because she didn't like it. SIDENOTE: Lisa looked like Delta Burke when she gave her in-costume interview. She flashed on the screen and I was like, "Who the crap is that fat chick?"
It must be her face shape because she obviously has an emaciated body:
Celine says she liked her outfit because it reminded her of Narnia. That's cause that's where Nicholas stole the idea from, Celine.
Redundant asks Heidi: "Have you ever had to wear something that you absolutely hated or didn't like?" Um hello? Have you already forgotten last week's thrilling python story? And besides, what do YOU think, Redundant? She's a supermodel. That means she's modeled hundreds of outfits. Do you think she liked every single one of them? Heidi's like, "Of course, but you get PAID to look good in no matter what." Uh, exactly. I mean, had these girls even HEARD of modeling before they were on this show? Later, brainiacs.
And it's home to the modelplex for Redundant to sit around fretting and waiting to be eliminated. Her friends try to comfort her, but what can they say? Everyone feels pretty secure in their designer relationships right now. And the topic turns once again to the conceived glory that is Logan. I was discussing this with friends and it's not that Logan's not a good looking guy, I just don't understand the frenzy. We came to the conclusion that the Logan Phenomenon is nothing more than the result of false demand. When you're pretty much sequestered with no other straight men anywhere in sight, he looks better and better.
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Comments (9)
Um. So last week in the previews they already told us they were switching up the models.
So this week they made an extra effort to yank pretty much the same quote from every model's mouth, to whit: "I feel so good with my designer, I know I'm safe."
And then they pull the surprise -gasp!- that they're switching up the models!
Wow! Talk about exciting reality programming. Never would have expected them to switch up the models after they told us they were switching up the models.
Fake out!
How did Matar's hair suddenly straighten out at one point, then get all curly again? Was it her sympathetic reaction to Fatmama's departure? Is this the model equivalent to the menstrual-cycle syncing phenomenon (since everyone knows that most models stop menstruating when they're 14)?
All these mysteries. Wonder what's next?! Gosh!
1 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 28, 2009 12:21 AM
This is your best recap of the show yet! With MotR I always read the recap before I watch the taped show, that way I can watch out for the funny stuff!
Btw, one of the Yahoo Ads on the top is for Lizard Shoes (made of actual aligator skin) and as an animal rights activists I wonder whether TVGasm can replace it?
2 of 9 | Posted by germgurl | Posted on September 28, 2009 2:18 AM
I need to know how I go about getting a Yogurtland near me? Write my Congressman? Stage a protest? This place sounds yummy - PLEASE COME TO NEW JERSEY!
Yogurtland was the most exciting part of this show. Word word word to Itchy - we already knew about the switcheroo, so the false "tension" from all the comments about how secure they all were with there designers was even more boring than usual.
Since I like Koji, I was surprised to see her one of the final two, but glad she did get picked. Not sorry to see FatMa gone.
Honey, you are a wonder. Great recap out of total crap. I love the name Redundant, and she shall forever be named so. Like, for all time. Eternity, even. xoxoxo
3 of 9 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on September 28, 2009 7:06 AM
400-year-old sorceress from Planet Flapper--Too funny Honey!!!!
Great recap all around, and mercifully short on my day of catch up here (but once, can I not be the last comment on 4 caps in a row . . . I don't know why that makes me feel lame . . . )
Actually, I was sorry to see Fatma go . . . she was not boring. Koji is just okay, as mentioned, Delta is boring to me, and Kara and Katie are bone racks, but no one seems an awful person. Fatma is def the most outspoken tho . . . I'll miss her. In honesty, she didn't look the noir part, even with the hair style.
Redundants final comments to Ra'mon made me wish he had switched, coz they felt very fake, even worse so with the redundance!!!
Hail to our Honey! XOXOXOXOXO
4 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 28, 2009 2:15 PM
Hey Juddfan - don't feel lame!
5 of 9 | Posted by ohionancy | Posted on September 28, 2009 3:31 PM
I think Koji & Lisa are terrible models.
Fatma is 1000x better as a model and she's 99% correct in her views on America. I see nothing wrong w/her stating that truth.
I wish Vanessa had gone. I don't think she's very pretty. In fact, she has an old/emaciated face IMO.
6 of 9 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on September 28, 2009 3:52 PM
Ok, Juddfan and Hutchlover got me thinking... I have to rethink my comment and agree that FatMa was at least an interesting personality (unlike the remaining crew). At least she was interesting when she spoke, whether you agreed with her comments or not. So, thanks guys - you made me think about it more and realize that without FatMa the show may become even more boring - God help us all.
7 of 9 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on September 29, 2009 6:50 AM
Thanks ohionancy, I can be last, and damnit, people like me . . .
njgasmifan, anytime!
Hutchlover, Vanessa has given some memorable moments, like the depends. Have to say, it was classic that she had those huge lashes on during her hour of discontent, really added to the drama for me. What I didn't like is how fake she seemed toward Ra'mon, after he'd obviously been loyal to her despite his want of a girl with a rack.
Lastly, there is one girl whose a terrible stomper, I keep noticing how awful and thudding her walk is, but I don't recall who at the mo.
I also think Fatma will be fine. she's got a great look for fashion. Watch for her in the finale!
8 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 29, 2009 10:00 AM
Growing up I spent summer vacations in an East coast beachtown that had a proliferation of "Candy Kitchens." In addition to salt water taffy they were famous for make-your-own sundaes. You could have any flavor of ice cream (say, Cotton Candy, or Butter Brickle) and then go to town with toppings. Sprinkles, graham crumbs, all variety of candy bars, something called "wet nuts" and every imaginable crumble. Then sauces -- chocolate AND hot fudge, caramel, butterscotch, and gooey marshmallow. Whipped cream and, of course, cherries in a red never found in nature. In theory you could have all of these at once. Fortunately as I got older I learned to edit. But I'm thinking if only they'd had frozen yogurt I might be skinny enough to be a model today.
Sorry, but Yogurtland was the most exciting part of the show. Thanks for educating us. And double thanks for the recaps. It's a dull show. The only thing I enjoy is your take on it.
I thought the frontierwoman and the outerspace-catwoman were the most exciting. Matar rocked the runway. She was the only one who took on the character. Some might call it stomping but she was being the tough independent woman Epperson had envisioned.
9 of 9 | Posted by NYdiva | Posted on September 30, 2009 5:24 PM