Moments before... I was watching Mad Men and trying to guess what the episode might TRULY be about before I find out for reals on the interwebs tomorrow. I love that show, but every time I read commentary on it, I realize it's way over my head. So many layers. So much symbolism and hidden meaning. So many contradictions. Smart people watch and deconstruct the universe. I watch and wish I could do my hair like Betty's. And that's why I'm here to bring you the latest and greatest from Models of the Runway!
So what's going on in the world of the brainless? From the holding tank Kojii gives us one of our much anticipated, long awaited model quotes: "I think it's horrible that one of the girls is going to have to go home and there's nothing that any of us can do about it." Ding, ding! Glad you finally caught up, Kojii, because that is a key element to this show. One of you is going home EVERY EPISODE and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Now, she may have meant this on a deeper level, in that she could be vocalizing the frustration that the models are merely pawns in this grand chess match we call Project Runway. Nothing they ever say or do makes any difference and they are at the total mercy of the designers and judges. That is also true, and a thought which required much more cerebral effort to formulate. AND makes this companion series all that much more useless and boring, but here we are. Celine is in frenzy because Logan really blew it this time and she's not sure of her popularity among the designers. Yes, we're back for another episode of this.
This time I'm more confused than ever because our beloved models didn't even get to model this week. Instead, a bunch of divorcees got their wedding gowns made over into some supposedly cool outfit for them to start their new lives in. And I've got to go ahead and say here that nothing I saw coming down the runway made me the least bit excited to start anything - certainly not to start this recap. I wasn't even crazy about Gordana's winning gray fraying thing.
Nothing against Gordana as a person, but I wouldn't wear that rag. I go for more high-end fashion, like Old Navy. Celine has a point, though. Logan's outfit sucked BUNS. That was such a frumpy pile of trash, the only thing that lady should be starting is a trip to Goodwill.
And was gray the only available dye this week? Sheesh. My favorite was probably Shirin's, but even that just made the divorcee look like she was ready to start a tennis match.
So what are we going to watch with the models? Let me guess - them fretting that they may be eliminated. Shall I just skip to the end now? Inexplicably Gordana still comes into the model tank to be congratulated, even though no one in here wore her outfit. The girls wonder whether Gordana will pick Tara or Mater. Oh the suspense! And now here's Epperson for his send-off from the models. Smell ya later, airheads. Smell YOU later, dread locks. Aw, poor Epperson. He did some cool stuff from time to time.
Heidi Time! Heidi wants to know how this week went for the girls and they all say they had SO MUCH FUN! What, watching? Oh, it seems that they got to give the divorcees modeling lessons.
And NOW we understand the significance of the girls' runway coaching session from The Great Pumpkin last week. It's all coming full circle. In model class Cheetos takes the lead and shows her divorcee all about how the models always start off BEHIND the Project Runway screen doing a pose, and THEN they come out and walk down the runway.
Wait, start over, Cheetos. I'm confused. But she doesn't start over and continues right down the runway where she holds a pose for three seconds and then WALKS BACK. I'm so lost. This is HARD! There's even something about a "closing pose" and I give up. I hope I can borrow notes from someone else if I am ever called upon to walk a runway. Wait, one of the divorcees just does a Soul Train dance down the runway, and I call dibbs on that. That's what I'd do too.
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Comments (9)
Honey, am I your first? comment that is . . . hee . . .
Like, OMG, I didn't realize they didn't even work with their different models till you pointed it out . . . now that's lame!!! I'm sure Itchy's glad Matar made the cut, as am I, I guess . . .
Call me crazy, but for a model to fart, wouldn't she have to eat food . . . I'm just sayin'
as to the mirror, I did a google and found this:
R "Meat baby" P. says:
Some TV news show did a story on this abouta year ago, and it turns out that many clothing stores purposely have warped mirrors in their dressing rooms that make a person appear to be skinnier than they actually are. The trick was to bend the edges of the mirror towards the person a fraction of an inch. Subtle difference, but definitely there.
Take your mirror and hang it with a block of wood or something behind the bottom edge, so it hangs at a slight angle to the door/wall. adds Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F.
A hearty thanks to Meat baby, Bendy and to you Honey!!!
1 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 12, 2009 11:35 AM
Ooh yes, a real nail-biter this one.
And yes, very happy Matar made the cut. Partly because I can't remember any of the others' names. Except Koji. I like her, even though I wonder how the hell an Irish gal picked up a Japanese name? Stoner parents, I imagine.
2 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 12, 2009 1:14 PM
Ha ha ha! Thanks, Juddfan, for the tips on a skinny mirror! It sounds like I have some tilting to do. I love that every week I can count on you and Itchy to appreciate my snide remarks and make me smile. :)
-HG
3 of 9 | Posted by Honey Gangsta | Posted on October 12, 2009 7:18 PM
It's funny, I not only laughed at the recap, but spent the whole time nodding my head to everything you said, Honey. Especially the Mad Men thing!!!!! Oh my god, my feelings exactly! I start reading the deconstruction the day after and I'm in awe, but after a while I start wishing a cigar were just a cigar. (...) Excuse me, I just lost track of what I was saying. You know, cigars. Big fat, upward tilting cigars. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Models of the Runway!
Damn, juddfan, you have confirmed what I suspected all along. Macy's and Eddie Bauer definitely have skinny mirrors, and I truly suspect (WANT to suspect, because the alternative is awful) that Target has fat mirrors. I can't possibly really look like that. Especially when it seems to be only at Target and, you know, Macy's and Eddie Bauer tell me so. Well, now that you know the caliber of stores I shop at (just what's available in my area) I might as well go full disclosure: my full-length mirror at home has always been tilted at a slight upward angle. I have always told myself that it is because otherwise my whole body won't fit in the frame, so ssssshhhhhh...
And after that shining poetry example from our divorcee, I'm so inspired I must close with a poem to you, Honey:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
This show's a piece of crap,
Thank god that we have you.
Thanks as ever for making the moronic to-die-for funny!
4 of 9 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on October 12, 2009 8:06 PM
Sayhuh, I'm tearing up! I don't think I've ever had a poem written for me before! Now I'm going to gently weep all the way through Gossip Girl. And thanks for the hot tips on where to shop and NOT to shop. Noted!
-HG
5 of 9 | Posted by Honey Gangsta | Posted on October 12, 2009 8:29 PM
Glad to be of service, Honey, and it's the least I can do to ease your suffering, or at least your ennui . . .
And I sympathize Sayhuh, I can look rather chunky at some angels in some mirrors, and heck, skinny mirror or not, my bodacious buttocks never look right in new jeans . . . I risk it every time I shop, but I must say, I never check again . . .
Also, I don't know what I'd do without Target, there's one 5 minutes from my house, and I am there often . . .
Can't wait to see what happens next week, and did I mention, poor Gordana . . . she weeped up more a storm than all of us put together while subjected to this show . . . "sniff"
6 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 13, 2009 10:55 AM
juddfan, there was a Seinfeld where Elaine bought a beautiful black evening gown at Bloomingdale's (I think, might have been Barney's) and when she put it on at home, it looked like a sack. She tried to return it and campaigned against the fraudulent mirrors.
7 of 9 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 13, 2009 5:29 PM
Hey, I probably should look for a Design Star forum here and find the appropriate thread to post this, but nah, I'm just too lazy. Anyway, it's about modeling! (sorta) But I figure juddfan and the other Design Star enthusiasts around here might like to know that while Antonio is having butt-ugly tattoo women made for his headboard, Danny Boy is modeling for Fred Meyer! Yeah, I opened my newspaper's Freddy's Columbus Day Sale insert, and there was Dan, holding a basketball modeling some Adidas stuff. When they talk about the opportunities they get from these shows, I don't think the chance to add "big box store model" to "bartender/designer", no?
8 of 9 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on October 13, 2009 7:48 PM
say huh, wow . . . whod'a thunk, and you forgot to add giant honeydew melloned, butt-ugly tattoo woman!!! LOL
That's sounds just like a Seinfeld epi, Pixie--too funny, and sadly, sounds like something I would try to do--the injustice!!!
9 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 14, 2009 9:38 AM