Hey Gasmi, and welcome to this week's edition of Who's the Biggest Idiot?, or as NBC likes to call it, Momma's Boys. Behind door number one, we have Michael and Lorraine. Lorraine is desperately trying to get Michael's attention away from a blonde porn star to a brunette, and unbeknownst to her, porn star. Hair color is tricky, ya'all! Behind door number two, we have Rob and Esther. Rob is getting his mack on with two girls, one who is not Jewish, much to Esther's dismay. And finally, door number three: JoJo and KKK. KKK is desperately trying to get her kid to NOT pick any girl because no one is good enough, and JoJo is secretly relieved because I still think he likes boys more then girls. So let's get this circus show started after the jump, and let's play Who's the Biggest Idiot!
The boys just handed out invites to the US Virgin Islands. Michael has invited Bangs, Slutty Meghan and secret playmate Erica. Rob invited Nikki (who?), Lauren and Camilla. JoJo invited Mindy and Julie (all together now--who?) and his momma, who ripped her invite up because all the girls are hoes.
Back the house, Lorraine is calling Meghan a hoe, saying her look is hard and not classy. She envisions a more wholesome girl, like Erica. She goes on to dig herself deeper in the idiot hole by saying that she never found an adult magazine in her house, even then she grew up with two brothers and a dad. I say you didn't look hard enough, because adults mags are pretty much a rite of passage for the teenaged set. Of course, she's saying all of this right in front of Little Erica, who keeps her whoreish mouth shut. She then preaches about how your body is a sacred temple that wasn't designed to be exploited that way.
Erica interviews that despite sticking joysticks and dildos in her vagina and letting people take pictures of her doing it, she really is a wholesome girl. She then fake cries and its super annoying.
At USVI, the group meets up at Coral World, which is probably as much fun as it sounds. The moms have their claws out. KKK is already in JoJo's ear talking smack about the girls, and JoJo asks her not to be so negative. Um, JoJo, have you met your mother? Esther is letting her inner-bitch shine like the sun, interviewing that there is no way her Robbie will be fighting for Camilla because she's not Jewish. Anyone else notice that she never says anything about Nikki? Either she's using the not Jewish card on Camilla when she really doesn't like her because she's black, or Nikki is as non-important to everyone else as she is to us. Seriously, where has she been the last 5 episodes? I don't think Esther is as evil as KKK, so I hope its the second one.
Team Michael gets to swim with the sea lions. Michael can't keep his eyes or hands of Meghan, calling him his 10. Lorraine, get the boys eyes checked when you get home, because homegirl definitely is a little rough around the edges.
JoJo's Girls (who he probably secretly wishes were Boys) play with the sea turtles. One of them splashes KKK and she looks like she wants to drop-kick it back into the ocean. The lady is full of love! Out of nowhere, she says "Oh man, Mindy, you got big boobies." WTF? Note to KKK: guys like big boobies! Unless they are gay, LIKE YOUR SON ASSUREDLY IS. Cue the awkward silence, even from JoJo. She keeps on about how big Mindy's boobs are, making the whole group uncomfortable. Even the sea turtles would rather be somewhere else.
Mindy says she was upset and uncomfortable about how KKK kept on talking about her boobs in front of everyone. How about being mad at JoJo for letting his mom do it? KKK tells Mindy "Too bad, that's my personality. Deal with it."
Team Michael goes speed sailing, and Lorraine comments how everyone looks beautiful, except Meghan. Meghan dared to wear a babydoll dress that is "lifting everytime the wind blows." Dude, its not like she's naked underneath the dress, she has a bathing suit on. And shit, even if she is naked under there, anyone with $5 for a copy of Playboy has already seen it.
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Comments (3)
Great recap Princess, got your claws out good!
There's no doubt they've been hiding the whole Rob/Lauren thing -- I'm with you on this one. Let's face it, there's just no way a good Jewish momma's boy would turn down a Jewish girl that hot. And she really is.
Although I wonder why she would bother with a guy so meh. Besides, she's an actress -- get your ass over to Hollywood girl, plenty of the tribe to choose from there AND it'll help further your acting career. Unless, of course, she was hired to come on the show....
Michael is a limp noodle. Jeez. He just wanted to brag to his buddies that he bagged a playboy girl.
Cheers to Nikki for the free vacation. And to Camilla for the almost free vacation.
That whole standing in the ocean kissing thing for, what, hours? With a camera crew 10 feet away...
1 of 3 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 19, 2009 7:07 PM
Wow, this show is so bad, nobody even wants to comment on it! Don't take it personally,Princess. I enjoy your recaps.
I must say, I like Rob a lot more since he stood up to his mom and told her the hard truth, which was exactly what I had been wondering (non-Jewish vs. black). And you can't go wrong giving jewelry, IMO.
On the other hand, Michael is a total dweeb. I mean, JoJo has an excuse (he's just a kid), but Michael needs to man up.
Why are these women so interested in a guy (Michael) who still lives with his mom? I guess it makes sense, since he is at the fire house a certain number of days per month, but the women seem to be pretty independent and mature, at least compared to him.
2 of 3 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 20, 2009 11:37 PM
Love the recaps, hate the show!
3 of 3 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on January 21, 2009 1:24 PM