More to Love: Truncated Stories of Woe (and pizza bagels!)

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Four ladies, Four rings. Lots of fuckin' tears.


This week, the ladies go on individual dates and...surprise surprise...meet their parents or relatives at the date. Sounds like a TON of fun. Drama amongst the girls and Malissa's general deviousness make for another episode of...you guessed it: tears and hate-eating.

Well, fuckfaces, we're back and with new offensive content! Sorry I was late on this puppy...I had to find some skinny bitches and offend them. Also, I had to do things like work and binge drink and paint in a neo-classicist style. Yeah, just your normal shit.

Anyhoosier....this week we're down to the top four fatties: Anna the Zombie, Tali the puckered butthole fashionista, Mandy Mcboring and Malissa the fat schemer.

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That shaving cream has to cover a LOT of surface area.

Lucky Luke is excited to be freaking the girls out by invading their personal space and asking uncomfortable questions. Awesome! Who is first?

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Tali Tali Bo-Bali


Tali. Sweet. Mandy waddles down to the Key corral to get the note that says "it's a race to the finish line," or some such fucking thing. Christ, it's like Lucky luke is writing in his lucky gay handwriting to some very lucky, very chunky fifth graders.

Tali gets ready while Mandy watches in eager anticipation.

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I'm going to fill your shampoo bottles with Nair. Bye, bitch!


Tali yammers on about how she's a big girl and how she likes a fat-ass dude to "contain her body." Well, okay, I guess, how like, peanut butter is contained by a cheap plastic tub? Ahh, that makes more sense and YEAH, I'm like a fucking modern day Wordsworth.

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Catwalk. More like FATWALK!


God, I've wanted to make that joke forever, but there haven't been any fashion challenges yet. Boo! There you go.

Lucky Luke decides to take Tali Go-Kart racing to see if she can have fun. What, a near constant string of pool parties wasn't enough? Fine.

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The first time a limo has ever been in the "K1-Speed" parking lot.


Tali talks about how she's not really "open," "fun," or "friendly" in general, but she's determined to show Luke that she can pose as fun, if only for a couple of hours.

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and only if they fit in the go-Karts


Of course the militant israeli gets SUPER competitive. Geez. Sexy?

Then, Tali talks a lot about being fat? Shit. That's a friggin' change of pace? How about talking about how people made fun of you all the time? Check. And how you just want to be loved for what's on the inside? Check. And, you know, how just because I'm fat I have a lot to give. Check.

Then to disqualify all the fat girl stereotypes, Tali overlooks her family when they bring her a plate of burgers. Yes, you heard me right- her aunt and uncle bring out FOOD and Tali is so focused on the FOOD that she doesn't even see their faces in light of the FOOD. You know what? A skinny person would never do that. Sorry- that's a fat person's thing.

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As is crying a lot.

Luke says something insightful like "meeting someone's family tells a lot about that person." Christ, you're brilliant, Luke. So they meet Tali's Aunt and Uncle. Tali's aunt looks like your general Israeli, while Tali's Uncle looks a little...how do I put this? Skinhead-ish.

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The odd couple?


Then they talk a lot about how different Israel is from America. Really? No shit. This is where I would typically put a lot of old photos of me visiting Israel as a sixteen year old with my jewish youth group, but I'm simply not fat enough. Instead, here is Tali, her Aunt, and a shitload of food.

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All we need are like, 8 milkshakes.


Back at Saddlebag ranch....

Mandy gets her first one on one, and it's supposed to be a "Calm" night.

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Not with the five frappuccinos I've just ingested. NO NO NO! (GUFFAW)


Malissa, of course, gets some snide comment in about Mandy being hyperactive. What? Are you kidding me? I didn't even notice the bitch until the last EPISODE. She's like a glass of warm, whole milk in a refrigerator of other high-fat dairy products. Puh-leeze!

Back at go-kart ville, I marvel at Tali's hair.

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A beautiful jewish lioness


For reals, the bitch may be fat, but she has gorgeous hair! Just saying...so you commentors don't ever say I didn't ever compliment these fatties. Check!

Probably to hide those ears, though...

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like a beautiful jewish elephant

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Comments (16)

WizeChik:

Cute touch, Mal; the huge ring suits ya! Maybe it's a psychological visual tactic to make Luke automatically picture her for his wife-to-be. I still think Mal has the win.
I can't see him picking Tali or Mandy, tho' Tali has better odds since Mandy finally showed her clingy side.
Still, Tali's culture gap poses an obstacle I don't know that Luke cares enough to overcome.

Whoever is Luke's pick, it's down to how HE feels and what attracts HIM, not what his AUDIENCE considers the nicest choice.
I think that's the main problem with this show ~ because it focused on how these ladies suffered due to their weight, and here comes large Luke to assure them that being fat is NOT an issue for him at all, people seem to be expecting he will select a woman whose feelings have been so damaged that she needs this validation by being loved by some man on TV, and then there's all this fussing about Luke's interest in some of the thinner ladies. They're angry that he rejected some of the bigger girls, as if *that* were his reason.
Luke will fall in love with the one who attracts him. Period. It won't be the lady who needs emotional boosting, I will guarantee that.

kittkatt:

Ok, I don't watch this show, I just read the recaps, but I am sick to death of it already. Where did they find these sad,pathetic, depressed girls? Trust me I understand that growing up a larger size than other people can sometimes be difficult(being that I'm a big girl myself), but get oer it all ready! Also the insinuation the show makes that the only type of guy that would be interested in these girls is some not only fat himself but ugly, assholish tool. I call BS cuz my husband is a Hottie McHotterson from his kick ass butt to his six-pack abs. Oh yeah he treats me like a queen as well. So all I can say to these girls is DON'T SETTLE!!! cuz Luke is not only not cute but kinda a douche!

pammiegapeach:

O.k., so I love this show! It has plenty of things that annoy me, like how Luke us so confident in his 330 pound body. Couldn't we see him crying over how fat he is???

So many of these girls were beautiful but the focus has been WAY too much on weight. I think Malissa is winning Luke's heart because she accepts that she is 170 pounds (the smallest girl on the show) and seems comfortable with herself and the way she and Luke look at each other is quite sweet. I do think, however that she has been a bit manipulative but then aren't we all when there is something we want?

I just hope Malissa's Meth/Crack smoking looking sister didn't screw her up by talking about how Malissa doesn't want children. Who knows? How can se decide RIGHT NOW if she wants children and how many and if she is going to have a career or not? Give it some time Luke! Luke has to decide who he thinks he can love and have a life with -- with or without children!!!! How many of you have ever met a guy who wanted to know all of this information up front -- IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!

I don't think Luke has spent enough time with Tali. I think she's beautiful, but how could he know her -- at all? And the Isaraeli stuff??? God, that would be enough to drive ME away!

And Mandy is a psycho. She goes into these emotional jags that make NO sense given the situation! Has anyone else noticed how slurred her words are all the time? I think she has been getting through the show by taking advantage of all the free booze!!!

A couple of more things..Emme is kind of spooky. Is it REALLY necessary to come into the room to announce that there is only one ring left? And also, I think EVERY girl should be able to keep the ring as a reminder of being on the show.

Lastly...it amazes me, although it shouldn't that the last three girls in the running are the 3 smallest women on the show. Malissa is the smallest at 170 pounds. Yo've gotta think Luke is thinking, "yeah, I can get 30-50 pounds off of her and then she'll be a "normal" woman!!! Excuse me, but is he 339 pounds with a flabby gut hanging over and man titties?

The second smallest girl is Mandy at 180 pounds, but with here height, she actually LOOKS like the skinniest one on the show.

And then there is Tali. I think Tali is gorgeous, but what is the deal with all the crap her Aunt and Uncle were saying about not being accepted by the family? Luke looked like he was gonna pass out?

In closing, I really like this show, but if it comes back again, I hope that next time, they will not post the girls weight...that is just tacky!!!

itchy:

Man, I love "watching" this show through your recaps Mona. If only the real show had commentary like yours, I might actually watch it.

Well, no, I probably wouldn' either. What's the point? I rather watch trashy but hot skanks on VH1.

Or the bikini girls on Survivor.

juddfan:

Don't cry don't cry please don't cry.

How can I when I'm laughing so hard!!! I love your biting tone on this one, Mona!!! The stuff on the crack ho sistah was too funny!!! She looks like she should join the skanks on Itchy's shows . . . oh well, maybe she'd need more silicone . . . sad, I know!

Kittkatt, "kinda" a douche--I think he's a big fat flabby gut hanging over and man titties douche/tool!!! (thanks for that succinct desc pammie ; )

Well, I don't watch this, but Tali's family didn't sound very inviting, almost like, "DON"T" Liked your analogy, tho, Mona!

HEARTS AND FLOWERS!

pixielated:

None of the families was very positive about the prospect of their daughters hooking up with Luke. Who can blame them? It IS often a problem with Jewish families when a young'un marries outside the faith. Or it could just be a handy excuse to save pretty Tali from that douchey slob.

I would have thought Mandy was the "least heavy" girl.

pixielated:

I think Tali's uncle is hawt. He reminds me a little of Stefan from "Top Chef."

itchy:

Shaving your head is also a nice way of giving the big fuck-you to the orthodox.

WizeChiklet:

"Shaving your head is also a nice way of giving the big fuck-you to the orthodox."
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*whew!* .. I misunderstood that for a moment: I thought you were suggesting that Tali shave her head. LOL!!! .. mind you: it's the women who need their head covering more than the men, so that's why I initially thought you meant her, and I cringed "NOOoooo, not that luxurious, thick, shiny hair she has.. " but then what a nice donation it would be to a cancer wig foundation! (whooops, don't hit me, Tali)

spacevenus:

Malissa is only 170 lbs? Seriously? Her boobs weight like 40. I call bullcrap with the weight.

NegativeNancy:

I don't think Malissa is 170 lbs either, unless she is just 4 ft tall.

If there's another season of More to Love, will it be a large woman chooses from 25 large men? And will the men cry? will bicycles be broken? how about some zip-lining or bungee jumping dates to liven things up a bit.

pixielated:

Didn't Moshe Dayan have a shaved head? Not Orthodox, huh?

Malissa looks heavier than Mandy for sure. And Tali is supposed to be 5'3" and something like 250 lbs., isn't she? If true, she carries it a lot better than Malissa.

pixielated:

I meant that Moshe Dayan wasn't orthodox, not that I was questioning Itchy's knowledge. I always defer to him on matters of Judaism.

You have a shaved head, dontcha Itchy?

itchy:

Since I was 18. Although I'd already given up on the even the most remost possibility of the existence of any sort of deity by then.

Of course, shaving my head is all the more sweeter since I'm a member of the 'priestly' tribe who are never allowed to shave. I'm not supposed to go into cementeries either. That one's easier to live with.

But the real reason I shaved my head was because there was this beautiful girl in college who wanted to give me a haircut one drunken spring night ...ah...yes... excuse me while I go, uh, take care of certain things... ;-D

itchy:

Oops. That would be 'remote' not 'remost' ...

Hard to type with just one hand. Oh. Sorry about that.

Anyway, I would never suggest Tali her head. Drop a few pounds? Yes, definitely. But the hair should stay.

WizeChiklet:

itchy;
I know you didn't mean Tali, it's just the first idea that I got, then corrected myself. LOL .. yikes, that'd be awful ~ if I had a mane like Tali's, nobody with any remotely sharp or otherwise cuticle-removal-capable object would be allowed anywhere near my head.

icemayr;
pleeeeez don't spam the boards, thank you.

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pixielated;
I think Mandy's fitter shape means she has denser muscle mass, making her weigh more than Malissa, who LOOKS heavier, and is probably not as athletic.
The 170 seems a gross underestimate but I can see her weighing less *on the scale* than Mandy, due to muscle tone.
I'd say Malissa probably weighs about 200 or so.

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