Testimonials

They pimp their daughter out in order to get some of the ol' baby talk going. And sure enough, hook, line and sinker, for these easy targets. They fall head over heels for the little girl, and this raises the question for Ads, If we have kids, would you prefer girl or boy? Ads confesses that she really wants a girl, so Chris says if they have a boy the first time around, they can try for a girl second. Ads gives him death eyes, but this doesn't stop her from still laughing about how Hawaiian sounds like Jambi from Pee Wee Herman.

Next time, I renew your vows!!

OMFG. I LMAO every time!!!

The little girl comes up and ask Ads if she wants to hula. Only if I can get a hug, Ads demands. She gets her hug and then learns in exchange for hugging a beloved Smith child she has to go embarrass herself onstage. She's a little surprised, but don't worry! Chrissy goes too and embarrasses himself even worse.

When these people laugh at you, you know it's time to get off the stage.

Now that's the kinda hula I expect from the surname Smith.

On the ride back to the hotel, Ads says she wants a girl that looks just like that girl. Ads doesn't want a prissy little girl, wants a girl that rolls in the mud, digs up worms and goes fishing! Good luck with that, silicon tits. Speaking of, put your boobs away.

Feast your eyes on the rack of a tomboy.

Back from the luau, Ads is ready for action! And what an asshat Chrissy is. Ads wants to get freaky, but Chrissy wants to get serious. Applying his math skills, to emotional intelligence, he reads her cries of, "Let me see your penis!" as "Let's have a conversation about babies." Ads reads him the riot act. Seriously, Captain Buzzkill. I will cut off you balls and dip them in chocolate and feed them to you, she says. I talk a lot of smack about her, but girl can make a threat.

I like when she says, "Way to dry up a vagina!" Ads is pulling out all the stops to amuse me now that it's finale time. Chrissy is relentless though. The only reason to get married is to have children, Chris says. Well, if you're going there, Ads is too. She points out that it would eff their kids up to see them fight and see daddy say he wants a divorce, pack his bags and then come back two hours later. She has a point, but at least you got those math skills, huh, Chrissy?

She also says that they're not supposed to not have that heavy of a conversation so they don't upset with each other. Why are you trying to get deep, she asks. And Chris replies, It's a deep subject. Blame the subject, Chrissy. Nice. Well, now you're not going to get any.

Ads concludes that she feels with some 35 year old broad that just realized needs to have a kid.

So if I were a 35 year old woman and my kids were 18, then Adrienne would be... Gah! I've never been good at word problems.

Next day they go on an outdoor adventure and they're over last night's bitchfest. Chrissy is her best friend and she just wants to hang. And alls better between these two, except they're going kayaking in the worst weather evs. That looks amazing. Maybe Vh1 can't get a refund on this adventure, because they go even though she's not fully healed and it's freezing rain.

Oh, shit. I think I added that up wrong.

Luckily her implants can't handle rain, so that gets them out of spending any more time in the inclement outdoors. Once they decide to go back and drink though, they manage to get some fire under their pants, hightailing it back to the hotel.

If only the implants were also a barometer of intelligence.

That night they go to dinner at the Planatation Gardens and he's playing his cards right this time by starting off saying she looks like Bettie Page. Ads loves that one. High off his good start, he decides they should play a game. "Let's name," he begins... "your penis!" Adrienne finishes. Actually he wants to list the five most positive things that have happened to her in past two years, which spares us from hearing whatever godawful nickname she wants to give Chris's member.

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Posted in My Fair Brady by InternetSensation at 2:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: blahblah on Mar 29, 2008 07:29 AM.