We're back on the scene with our lovebirds and Adrienne is going to an autograph signing for Nvidia, which everyone knows as the industry leader of absolutely nothing. She sure is dressed for the occasion too. Ripped jeans and a slogan shirt! Oh, girl, you shouldn't have. It looks like she's has been rendered into a video game, but I don't think she's anything more than someone's CGI doll. But it's all part of Adrienne's sudden career explosion. I had the last guy I dated give me some Photoshop plastic surgery on one of my modeling pictures and I totally felt like a digitial icon, too. I had an autograph signing in my backyard and my mom and her friends showed up. It was awesome.

Adrienne is huge among Best Buy employees.

Chris likes this digital Adrienne, because it looks and walks like Adrienne, but doesn't say a damn thing. Amen, sister.

Some young Asian boy asks when they're going to have children, because that's what all adolescent fans ask their dream girls. Nothing gets horny teens hotter than knowing when their fantasy girl is going to pop a few out. Adrienne says like ten years, just to keep the dream alive for men everywhere and Chrissy sits in the corner, bites his knuckles and cries. It's hard to live in the shadow of a D-list celebrity.

Not pictured: Chris's tears.

Adrienne regales us with lines about how she works "all the time", which I guess is true since she is continually on a reality show. But now, she wants to be considered for "big roles" so she's going full speed ahead towards the boob job. Because once she gets bigger melons, then she'll get the bigger role she's always wanted. Like a reality movie? (In the future, reality shows will eventually become feature length films, but will not be called "documentaries", being their own masturbatory genre, and produced solely by Vh1.)

Next up, Chris is going to have lunch with Neighborhood Don, where we get our next installment in the lecture series. ND is of course super jacked that these two are "considering" a kid. I also take things into consideration when people point guns at my head. It's an effective motivational tool. Chris points out that this relationship is aging him quickly and he isn't getting any younger. Adrienne of course insists she actually keeps him young. I disagree. Just because you keep Chrissy up to date on the latest in slogan tees doesn't mean you're keepin' him young. Chris tells Adrienne that one day she will want to start going to bed at 8 or 9, too. "When I'm dying," she responds. By that logic, I started dying at 23. Death is a slow process.

Drink up. You'll be right where I want you.

He arrives at Don's for lunch and today's lecture is about Experiencing The Fruit of Your Loins, Part 200. Chris laments that now that he's come around to having kids (i.e. beaten into submission by ND), Adrienne isn't. He and Don go and sit down to talk privately (Chrissy has to sit down when it comes to kids. Agreed, get your rest now, says Nanny Sensation) and Don points out repeatedly to Chris that he is old as dirt. Don lectures that he has to get the timing right with Adrienne. Don admits that he was all yeah, whatever, too, on the kid front, but then he had this little gremlin and what stone-hearted jerk wouldn't have his heart bursting with unparalleled joy when he looked into these eyes?

Soul sucker.

Back at the condo, Adrienne is talking about the boob job again. She wants to know what their plans are tomorrow because Flava of Love is on. But, alas, no Flava of Love for Ads, because Chris has a surprise for her! And I am shocked that these two don't have a DVR of some sort. However, I am not surprised they are shilling for other Vh1 celebreality shows.

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Posted in My Fair Brady by IS | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: rjfrankel on Mar 1, 2008 08:20 PM.