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So after a few words from our sponsors, we get the requisite Bed Scene of the week. Ads spends a lot of time in bed for someone with a HUGE career.

And now for my favorite scene of this whole season: Financial planning with Tammy. Smarty pants hotness Tammy is coming over for estate planning. When she gets there she asks Adrienne is she's happy with the pre-nup, to which Adrienne replies that she doesn't care about the pre-nup because she's not getting a divorce. And if Chris tries to leave her, she'll kill him anyway. Guys LOVE it when you give them death threats.

Tammy asks if they're having kids (If everyone jumped off a cliff, Tammy would to.) and we get in a hypothetical debate about what would happen to their children if they both died in a fiery crash (or something). Most people have this discussion after they have children, not while they're still deciding whether or not to have children at all, but this isn't reality, this is celebreality! All common sense was thrown out the window a long ass time ago. The best part is that Ads is floored--FLOORED--to learn that godparent status will not hold up in a court of law. The state decides who the children go to if no one has been appointed. Ads DEMANDS to know: What's the point of godparents then??

You married a retard.

I married a retard.

What?

For the record, I also make this face every time I see one of her damn slogan shirts. So basically my face is frozen into this expression the entire show. Anyway, Adrienne is so not into this discussion. She tells us that she just kept thinking about the new bras she's going to get and that she had to pee.

And then she starts hitting on Tammy, who is actually very smokin' hot. Ads loves her handbag, loves her outfit, wonders if she did her own makeup, offers her more champy. I love Tammy, too. Now there's a girl-on-girl I can get behind. I was pretty underwhelmed with Deal-or-No-Deal Kelly, as we all know.

Tammy like-a da flirt.

Then we start talking about Chris dying and Adrienne dramatically insists on having at least half of Chris's ashes. She plans on using him to cockblock any man that tries to court her after him. Chris just chuckles, "The discussion of wills is a battle of wills!!" Oh, Chrissy, you are a card. They throw in an over-the-top church organ number for added drama while Adrienne talks about taking Chris with her into the afterlife. They are laughing at you, not with you, sugar tits. Chris does admit afterwards that Tammy did a pretty good job at titillating Ads. Dare I say, the ACLU tally is back! POINT! Ads can't get over how hot she is and i can't either. Damn, Tammy! Advise me, too!

In an unfortunate shredder incident, Adrienne mistakes skirt for living will.

So now it's time for their surprise...she gets blindfolded in her dirty bandana just like she did last time. No loving couple is without a dirty bandana blindfold tradition. So he's taking her somewhere that was really special to her. And what could be more special to these two than The Surreal Life house? At this point, my television explodes because Vh1 has reached self-referential critical mass. Seriously, it's gross, Vh1. Have a semblance dignity.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the occasion is to celebrate, but Vh1 sure went all out just to set Chris up with a place to give Adrienne a bra and a baby rattle. (Weeks of previews have already spoiled it.) The crib is all decked out like there's gonna be a "Bachelor" rose ceremony after they make these two clear out. And sweet reminiscing indeed. They find the room that was Jane's "dungeon" and the corner where Verne peed.

Oh, showmance, how sweet thy name.

Pun intended: Adrienne says it's surreal to walk around that house. Aw, Ads. Reality television is magical indeed. (I'm actually serious.) I never saw their televised courtship, as I would never stoop to watch such trash as "The Surreal Life", but from the get-go she really was telling him she was going to have a reality show where she got him to marry her. From an early age, her parents always remarked that she seemed just destined for an embarrassing career in playing out daddy issues on television.

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Posted in My Fair Brady by InternetSensation at 1:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: rjfrankel on Mar 1, 2008 08:20 PM.