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So these two attempt to have a conversation about discovering yourself and knowing who you are. I love when reality stars parrot psych 101. It makes me feel like we're really growing together on this journey of self-exploration and understanding.

So Adrienne admits that she's bisexual, which I'm not sure merits conclusive evidence for the ACLT experiment because she says a lot of things we can't take seriously and besides that, I like to count things. She says it doesn't matter about being bisexual, because she's found her man, to which Chris rightfully replies that she should just drop the whole lezzy schtick then. He tells her it's not impressive, it doesn't turn him on, it creeps him out, and it's disrespectful. Oh, come now, Chrissy pants, tell us how you really feel!

But AC gets the last word as always, sobbing and shaking, she manages to whimper that he should stop telling her he'll leave her and stop telling her she's not good enough for him. Oh, man. This girl just slam dunks it in the victim department. Lame ol' Chrissy just hates two hot girls hooking up!

And now finally they are going back to LA. Adrienne announces that she's driving today, which I didn't think needed to be announced, because doesn't she always drive? Now Adrienne gets my compassion when she's all teary and vulnerable but when she morphs into super bitch, which is upwards of 80% of the time, I feel bad for Chris. For all her Chris-is-awful-to-me talk, Chris never says go to hell, fuck you, asshole or the myriad of other juvenile names she throws down. Name-calling is really not cool in adult relationships, Curie. Maybe that's why he says you're not good enough.

Chris prefers, "I love you but I just don't like you right now."

And now for more fun car time with Chris and Adrienne! Once again, no singing along to Top 40 radio for these two. Adrienne is too busy doing everything possible to bait him into an argument AGAIN. Chris tries to ignore her as much as possible, but trying to ignore pissy Adrienne is like trying to ignore Mount Vesuvius in Pompeii, 79 AD. Basically, you're fucked.

But finally we're back home and thank god we're back. But even as they walk into the condo, she still has to talk about the GD photo shoot! Her intentions were good. She wanted to make him happy, blah blah blah. In fact, to save us all some time and sanity, let me summarize every conversation these two have ever had and ever will have:

blah blah blah blah blah blah &*#@$#@% blah blah blah blah blah blah @#($*&%#! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah *@#&$#@$blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah #@$*&@#(*$& blah blah blah blah blah @#(*$&#@&$%*^ blah blah blah blah blah blah@#($*&#@*(% blah blah lah blah blah @#(*&$(%^@#$ blah blah blah blah. Okay, let's go f*ck now!!

So there you have it. Let's shut it down and go home. Kidding! This is all too much fun to stop now. I've learned this week in Celebrity Rehab that quitting is a big no-no and I'm now applying it to even the most extreme and unhealthy situations. Like this!

So back to the fight. Chris pleads that they we take a break from the photo shoot talk. AMEN. This prompts Adrienne to call Chris Captain Douchebag. I prefer calling my men Douche Wonder when it comes to my Douchebag needs, but whatevs. I'm open.

But apparently they're not taking a break from anything. Now we're in the office and we're getting into the bigger issues here and believe me, these two have some doozies. Chris says that he's working on his baggage and she's not working on hers. In fact, her baggage is "slappin' him" all over the place! Sounds kinky! The trash talking is killing Chris, but Adrienne comes up with the dig that Chris has already done twenty years of therapy. Look how far he's gotten! Adrienne says she wants to get help and she's genuinely tired of slinging shit. About time. They both might see therapists independently of couples counseling. They are both so broken and beaten down by life. And now more than anything they need to support each other now and be released from their pain. At the end of the day, these two codependents need each other. So now they hold each other and rock each other and...suddenly I'm genuinely moved. Eff me and my tender heartstrings any time someone starts rocking. And now Adrienne says she has a Great Idea: they should "do it".

Wasn't it better when I just "blah blah blah" paraphrased it?

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Posted in My Fair Brady by InternetSensation at 7:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: blahblah on Feb 14, 2008 07:50 AM.