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Chris tells Nicole that now he recognizes if he doesn't have children, he will feel like he is missing out on something. In his defense, Neighborhood Don was standing behind Nicole making a slit-your-throat gesture in the background when she asked. Nicole asks Chris where he sees himself in a couple of years and he goes, "Diapers". As you can see, diapers are a great punchline to any joke.

Oh, my! You're just a stitch!

So Adrienne and her dad go get some bbq after shooting the shit (literally!) and they talk about getting a gun in the house. It would make her feel safer. Adrienne says that Chris is concerned she'll hurt him, but this is nonsense because Chris is the "ragehead". Yeah, that's what I call everybody that tries to disagree with me, too. Adrienne's dad nods his consent on that one. My parents always think I'm right, too. Always. Unless they're being rageheads. Adrienne's dad also says he hopes that they aren't considering children. Midwestern Ogres are notoriously sensible creatures. Me likes. Then Adrienne's dad does on to say that he hopes they keep working on it, because he does want a grand baby. Sensible creatures with a heart.

Back with Nicole and Chris, Nicole thinks Chris would be great dad and that he would especially be a good house dad, and Chris is lovin' this idea. And now Nicole drops the line about Adrienne being great mother material because she's so sweet. And with this revelation, Chris realizes it's just awful that he's been telling her she would be a bad mom. Now it totally makes complete sense that they'll be great parents!! They saw someone else's kids. They didn't kill them. Bingo! So, Chris said he feels bad he's put these awful ideas in her head and that now he needs to get her a card. And Nicole just thinks that's a "lovely idea". And I'm beginning to think that Nicole was lobotomized at some point in her life. And I'm not saying Chris has the drawing skills of a first-grader, but this is totally the mental image I get when he talks greeting card on me.

Everybody is all together back at the ranch and Adrienne is going on about bearing arms AND bigger tits. Eh, shut it. And now everyone says good-bye and this is apparently the end of the visit. That seemed abrupt, but whatevs, who can track the elusive steps of the Midwestern Ogre. So now Chris and Adrienne have a rap sesh and Chris is trying to get the dirt on what Adrienne's dad thinks and what he said about him during their day together. Adrienne admits he thinks Chris has a rage problem. Adrienne neglects the fact that she said it first, but I'm kind of digging it, so I can keep this trick for future discussions with boyfriends. Throw my mom or dad under the bus and get 'em shaking in their boots. It works because now Chrissy gets all, I'm not goin' down like that, and calls Adrienne's dad to gather everyone together again. He demands they all go to a pub and hang out together. No one ever gets drunk and ragehead-y at pubs. Good plan.

So they chalk up the cues and play some pool. Throwing back Schlitz and after Schlitz is an awesome way to show that you are cool as a cucumber. Adrienne and Nicole have girl talk and Adrienne tells Nicole that she won't have children until Chris learns to check his rage. Since when did Chris's rage become the reason for not having babies? First it was Adrienne might be a lesbian (R.I.P This week's ACLT tally), then it was her breast augmentation plans, now it's Chris's rage? I call shenanigans. So, across the bar, our jocular ogre starts laughing about how it makes him nervous when two women talk. But Chris said he's the one that's nervous. When Ogre asks about kids, Chris actually starts stuttering and sputtering and can't even make a damn sentence. The ogre gets as annoyed as I do and crushes Chrissy's head between his giant manacles thus putting us all out of our misery.

Proving my long-standing theory that a proclivity towards wearing slogan shirts is genetic.

Chris says he sees himself being at home while she's working. He said it could be good or a nightmare. Ogre gets it. Once the ogre admits that Adrienne is indeed a pain in the ass, things start to relax and it looks like they are genuinely starting to bond. Ah, good for you, Chrissy, although it would have been way funnier if Ogre had thrown down some Mortal Kombat.

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Posted in My Fair Brady by InternetSensation at 3:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: RHODA on Feb 19, 2008 03:11 AM.