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This man is kind of awesome. And then he lays down the trump card: This is my birthday, bitch! STFU! I wish it were his birthday everyday, because it actually works. Adrienne makes nice by pulling out her naked titt-ay while she's driving and Chrissy takes a picture. See? All better! Watch and learn again, ladies! How have I been dating for over a decade without these effective communication techniques??

Finally these two arrive at the cabin and in his ongoing efforts to remind us of why he is relevant, he describes the cabin as "Brady-like". So I actually IMDBed Christopher Knight to see when his birthday is because Adrienne looked like she picked the wrong time to go to Big Bear.

CK's birthday was in early November and I silently judge her dumb-dumb decision to go to Big Bear and think there would be snow in early November. (Aside: Who knew pussy pants Chrissy was a scorpio? Scorpios are no joke. I sure can't push around a scorpio for the life of me. But I let bunny rabbits boss me around, so I can't really speak authoritatively on the matter.) Well, it looks like Chris had nothing to worry about, because this is the much touted "snow" playing.

Aw, they both win after all.

After they get their artificial snow on, they come back to Bradyville to deliver the highly anticipated hot tub scene dedicated analysts have been waiting for: point for the ACLT tally (or Adrienne Curie Identified Lesbionic Titration, if that meets your aconymic needs better). But first, she takes a walk down memory lane with Chris to when they celebrated his first birthday together while filming the Surreal Life. Since I never saw this, I cannot understand why they are at a strip club putting dollar bills in Adrienne's dress.

Reality stars are easily confused.

Back in present time, Adrienne is finally delivering her line about not caring for men that much, but preferring "hot chicks". Chris laments that he "married a dyke" and Adrienne does not refute this, so point 4 for the ACLT! And point 5 for asking him if she can eventually eff chicks in front of him when their sex life dies down. Straight women go for toys, girl! You can't fool me. I'm a scientist!

Onto the birthday dinner! Adrienne puts on a birthday hat and blows birthday blowers and demands that he put his "f*cking hat on" like the brattiest six-year old ever. Sometimes I think this one does need a babysitter. Possibly a hot chick. She again reminds us over and over again how excited she is to give the UBG, dumps confetti on Chris's head, and puts on the candles (Ho, snap! I stand corrected, this girl is twenty-four, not twenty-five. God, this age difference really disturbs me.) I can't think about that for long though because suddenly I am distracted by the huge sheet cake she got for him, the kind you see at a large office party of you know, more than two people. Maybe she invited strippers! Maybe Deal-or-No-Deal Kelly?? Chris would loooove that.

You don't have to have an advanced degree in Reality Television Studies to know that the rhetorical device "irony" plays a large part of these narratives. Basically the viewer knows the the more Adrienne is excited about something, the more it will be a complete disaster. And we just get to sit back and enjoy. (Sometimes I try imagine my life before reality television and then I realize I can't remember living before that time.) But, I digress. So Chris loves the shoot of Adrienne solo and is actually quite sweet about it, since he really loves his adopted daughter. But, oddly, he acts like she went waaay out of her way to pose in front of a camera. Um, doesn't she model for a living? That's like if I offered to write my mom a snarky recap of our last visit for her birthday. What a stretch.

She's "just a normal girl!" :) :)

So, back to our original double threat, Adrienne tells Chris to sit down because she's comin' at him with the UBG! And you know it's a problem when Adrienne starts doing all the talking as soon as he starts looking at it. She points out that it's Kelly. (Duh! Like he doesn't recognize the other half of Manhattan Beach's famous double threat.) Then she asks "How hot is that??" a few times and calls it "masturbating material".

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Posted in My Fair Brady by InternetSensation at 12:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: blahblah on Feb 13, 2008 09:53 AM.