Steph chose a Venetian Masquerade theme for the party and the pre-party in which she would make an entrance and present her guests with invitations. So upon her request, some idiot had to try and tie a horn onto a horse to make it look like a unicorn on which she would ride into the "pre-party". All was going well until the humiliated horse bucked like crazy saying, "Get this fat biatch off my ass and get this horn off my face!" Good horsy.

On to Plan B. Stephanie presents the invitations after arriving to her lakeside home, accompanied by "jesters" who look like the orgy clan from "Eyes Wide Shut".

Then Steph proves that being a truly spoiled princess isn't just about getting everything you want, but that it's also about making other people do what you want at your beck and call. Steph announces that a select group of her close friends will be made to attend manditory rehearsals to learn choreographed dances to be performed at the party. I thought I put my 15 boyfriends through hell, but Steph is making these dudes curtsey and bow in costumes for the hope of a measly hand job. Getting these teenagers to cooperate by force and threat of death, the group pulls it off and starts the party with a Traditional Dance à la Interview With A Vampire.

And did I mention the midgets she hired to dance around for her amusement? That's right folks, along with fire-eaters and stilt walkers Stephanie "hired" some midgets to dress up in Jester outfits and dance around the party. As Stephanie said, "You can't put a price on perfection!" No. But I guess you can put a price on a little person's self worth.  The party was filled with so many carne-like freaks I was waiting for the bearded lady to pop. Oh wait, that would be Stephanie.

And how could I forget the "video" Stephanie shot to be played at the video. Dressed in a "flirty" white dress Steph frolicked in the sand like a Chris Isaak video gone way wrong.

The final most awesomest moment of the whole episode was towards the end of the party when a midget dressed in a cop uniform stripped down to his boxer as a "Surprise" to all her friends. I don't know how she came up with this idea but I do recall a similar scene from Itty Bitty Gang Bang.

Stephanie insisted on spending $42, 000 on not one but 15 cakes to celebrate every year roll she added to her ass that day I don't think her parents realize they will be spending twice that amount on Liposuction in the next 5 years. But her parents do realize that they don't want to listen to her anymore thus sending her, per her request, to Europe for a semester of school.

"I'm going to France motherf*&#@#!" Steph bragged. Oh good! Just what we need. Another reason for the French to hate us.

| Discuss In Our Forums Posted by Guest Columnist on January 24, 2007 12:24 PM