This lady was a pro wrestler for fifteen years and was known for picking up three hundred pound guys, "dumpin' 'em and knockin' 'em."
Really REALLY Scary.
I hope they all get their asses kicked by this broad. New York thinks she's a beast and does NOT want to get in the ring with her. Mr. Boston's up first. New York can't wait to see him get his ass handed to him.
Beantown? Wienie Town.
Bryan's next. He's never sparred before but he can't imagine it will be that difficult. New York feels bad for him and wants to destroy his ass at the same time.
I don't even think she connected to him on that one. Maybe she blew him over with her breath. Not that she has bad breath or anything! Don't come looking for me scary boxing lady!! Bryan actually lands some punches. I'm sure they were completely legit.
New York's turn. Mia tells her to just pop scary boxing lady right in the face and then move, move, move. Yeah, as in get the hell outta there before she pops you back! Mia thinks she started out great, her punches were hard and she had great movement. And then....
Once she got hit, she got all riled up which is the worst thing to do, I guess. It basically falls apart once she gets hit in the face. And before you know it, she's tired. She rallies back and makes it through the round, but she does not like doing that. She doesn't know if she can do this.
I'm going to skip over the part where she fake quits and Mia talks her into doing it. So lame, so predictable, I'm so over this formula in everything that she's done this season. Let's just skip to the part where she decides to go on to the fight. And we can pretend it was super inspirational.
Oh, but I spoke too soon. New York has decided she needs some divine inspiration, so off to church she goes.
Good food, good meat, good god, let's eat!
What? It's the only prayer she knows!
Kidding! Let's listen in on New York's heartfelt prayer....... "Heavenly Father, I thank you for putting me in this opportunity (where I can make money jumping around and screaming like an idiot week after week after week). I thank you for making me strong (and my breath stronger). But father, I ask that you give me the strength that I need to win this fight tonight. Lord, I don't know who I'm gonna fight tonight, but whoever it is, I know I'm gonna beat their face in."
Should she be talking about beating people's facing in while she's in church?
So spiritually uplifting. I bet a lot of people will return to the church after seeing this.
Fight time. Looks like they've hired some idiot announcers for the fight, and the school gym boxing arena is packed to the gills with paid extras rabid fans. Todd is back as the "let's get ready to rumble" guy. Except he yells, "Let's. Get. To. Wooooooorrrrk!"
Out comes New York. But who will she be fighting? It's..................Pumkin! WOO HOO! But wait! Pumkin has chickened out and is a no show. YAY! That means the match is cancelled, right? WRONG! New York's gonna fight Mr. Boston instead. Blech.
New York's okay with this; she's going to pretend he's Pumkin and bash his freaking face in.
Hey! It's Dickish Diva from the Nudie Resort!
Mr Boston comes out swinging and hits New York. She starts flailing at him and he hits her again. And again.
Whatta man.
New York is down. But we still have twenty fucking minutes (fifteen after commercials) to go on this thing, so I know she's not going to stay down. She doesn't. She gets up and seems a little discombobulated. She comes out punching and kicking, and that's the end of round one.
Mia tells her not to get mad. Boston is ready to put her away. Round two. Boston knocks New York down again. How many freaking rounds is this stupid fight? Round three. It all comes down to this round if New York wants to keep her HBIC title. Didn't she self-appoint herself anyway?
New York lands some good ones in that round. Alright, last round. New York is a crazy lady, throwing punches left and right. But she's so frenetic that she's leaves herself open for a big punch to the head from Boston. She seems ready to give up, and then she doesn't. This is just too riveting.
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Comments (8)
Oh God,
I have a prayer of my own. Please make this all go away, please lead her to Michael Jackson's doctor. And please let poor PottyMouth never have to deal with this chick again.
Thank you.
Amen
1 of 8 | Posted by twunty mcslore | Posted on July 1, 2009 12:43 PM
I thought the same thing regarding which direction New York's lunch would exit.
Although this episode sucked, I can't help myself, I think she's funny. I'm rooting for an ILNY 3. I would also like an I Love Buck Wild. And I have a Master's Degree. And friends. And hobbies. And sanity. I swear.
2 of 8 | Posted by messystation | Posted on July 1, 2009 6:26 PM
When they had the voting for NY to get the $2k bonus, did she actually get it? I don't remember...
3 of 8 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 1, 2009 6:31 PM
I too am waiting for a Becky Buckwild show. "It's Time To Get BUCKWILD!!!!" As for New York hope she gets another show also. for someone who I used to dislike the more I see her the more I like her. I guess she grew on me(like a fungus maybe?) Anyway whatever she does next I desperately hope her momma isn't in it. It seems that when she's away from all that crazy she's almost(almost I said) normal.
4 of 8 | Posted by kittkatt357 | Posted on July 2, 2009 11:13 AM
Thank God it's over. This was soooooooo boring! I'd rather see another I love New York installment than this piece of excrement. I just wished she would stop screeching the entire time this show was on.
5 of 8 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on July 2, 2009 11:32 AM
i'd love an i love buckwild show.. BUT the entertainer is getting his own of love show. is it gonna be a trainwreck? probably.
6 of 8 | Posted by kmh5125 | Posted on July 2, 2009 5:49 PM
Twunty: Thanks so much for your kind prayers.
messystation: Often those that swear their sane are, in fact, insane. :P
slutty_whore: I have no idea. I didn't want to know because if I found out she was getting even more money, I think my brain might implode.
kittkatt357: I wouldn't mind seeing New York in another show - I just think this format sucked. If they had more jobs like the fast food restaurant it may have been better.
spacevenus: You and my ears were making the same wish! I'm sure she'll get another I LOVE show. You can never have too many of those, right?
kmh5125: The Entertainer's show is sure to be vomit inducing. But I'll be right there watching with all of you.
Thanks again for reading and sharing your comments with me during this show! I couldn't have made it through it without all of you!!
If you feel like getting your dance on at all, I'm over at So You Think You Can Dance - hope to see you there!
SWAK, PottyMouth
7 of 8 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on July 5, 2009 2:22 PM
Yay Pottymouth, you survived! Wasn't that lady wrestler Tawny Kitaen? If not, the two of them look like twin sisters! I think the next job should be "New York Goes To The Nunnery... For At Least A Decade".
great job, loved the recap!
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 8 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 6, 2009 3:21 PM