To get myself in the mood for this week's episode of New York Goes To Work, I just polished off an entire bag of Grandpa John's Pork Cracklin' Strips. Now seasoned with cayenne pepper. Mmmmmmmm. If you have never had pork cracklin' before, you should definitely give it a try. Just be sure to have the phone nearby in case you need to dial 911.
If you haven't guessed yet, New York's job this week will be pig farmer!
New York starts out being excited about her day and finding out what job America has chosen for her. Oooooh. I guess that will be part of the formula every week, right? She'll tell us how excited she is, then she'll see what it is that she'll be doing and say something like "Oh hell no!!" Not that I'm implying that this show is scripted or anything.
So anyhoodle, New York is real excited to see what shut-ins with nothing better to do than spend money voting on this shit her fans have picked out for her next job. And then.........
Of course, as soon as she sees the sign, she starts saying, "Oh no, oh no, no, no, no." Shocking, I know. She thinks this is like a bad dream. New York gets out of her SUV and introduces herself to Randy, Master Pig Farmer.
Lord of the Pigs
New York asks us if we've ever heard of something called swine flu. I hate to say this honey, but have you ever thought that's why they sent your ass to a pig farm? Randy tells her she'll be put through the regular chores that they do there every day.
At the end of the day, Randy will decide whether or not New York can be a pig framer, and whether or not she'll get her money. They better not pull the same bullshit they pulled last week where she didn't even do the job and still got paid. I'm still bitter about it.
First she needs to change into the right working clothes.
Accessorize!
They head on up to where the pigs are. Randy introduces New York to the crew. First up, we have Infro, resident Swine Expert. I'd ask how you attain that lofty job title, but I believe I asked the same question last week about one of the bug guys. So instead, this week I'll ask, why would one want to be a swine expert?
Maybe it's because of the nifty hat!
Next, Randy introduces her to Bryan, his son and apprentice pig farmer.
When dad said apprentice I thought he wanted me to go on Donald Trump's show! I hate these dirty pigs.
Last introduction is Siro, Master Goat Keeper.
Yes, I fuck the goats.
New York says that these guys look like they haven't been around a woman in a long time. No Shit. She is not lying. It's kind of creepy, the way they're looking at her. Time to get to work!
As they walk into the barn, New York wants to know why it's so filthy in there. Randy's like, "Duh, it's a pig farm lady. What'd you expect?" He tells her she's going to need to put her purse somewhere so she can get started working. New York tells him her purse is expensive. Well, in that case, put it in the cabinet next to the semen.
Don't tell her the semen's ours.
She tells Randy, "You guys can't be living like this, this is not sanitary. Oh my goodness. This is disgusting." Well then, you'll love your first job. Cleaning the pig pen. Aka, shoveling shit. Woo hoo! Where can I sign up for this job? New York asks him if that's poop in there. Yep, absolutely.
Ugh. That pen is really gross. New York says, "She should be ashamed of her little pig ass." She does not want to go in there. And then she starts acting like she's going to throw up. Seriously? Is this going to happen every episode too? Please know that even as I say this, I am dry heaving at the thought of that smell. Yes, I am a hypocrite.
She starts to shovel, and immediately freaks out because a fly has flown into her hair. She heard it zing in her ear. She is worse than I am. Really? A fly?
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Comments (3)
On the one hand, I’m glad NY’s back. After watching the twins, Tequila, Daisy, The Cougar, etc. I started to realize that NY brought personality to the skanky-bachelorette role. So, while I’m glad VH1’s keeping her in the reality-loop, I prefer her in the dating scenario.
However, I have to make a minor comment about her face. When she first appeared on the VH1 scene, I thought she was really pretty. But, when she received her own show, I couldn’t quite figure out what was off until I realized she had undergone facial surgery. In the first ep of NY Goes to Work, I thought she had grown into her operation. However, in this ep her face still looks slightly off to me in certain screen shots.
1 of 3 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on May 14, 2009 11:15 AM
I've never watched the other NY shows, so all I know is the 10 minutes or so I was able to watch of this crap.
And they're going to do this every week?
And who the hell is willing to spend $1 (plus usual cost of an SMS) to vote for this stupid concept?
And it seems like one of the choices for next week is to have her work at a nudist's colony? Hmmm...lemme guess what people are going to choose...
I thought the pig farmer guy was pretty funny. Maybe he thought he was auditioning for Farmer Needs a Wife?
2 of 3 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 14, 2009 11:55 AM
anicho01: I hadn't noticed her face looking weird. I'll have to pay closer attention this week.
itchy: I know! I was wondering the same thing about who the hell would PAY to vote for this crap? The pig farmer guy WAS funny, but his two workers were hysterical. I thought they were gonna eat her alive!
Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one watching this show!
SWAK, PottyMouth
3 of 3 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on May 17, 2009 8:31 PM