This show is killing me! To help speed the process along, I've decided to mirror New York's job each week as I write my recap. Last week, it was eating an entire bag of pork cracklin'. This week, I'll be writing my recap au natural - all I can say is be happy you can't see it, and I apologize if you are my neighbor. Shit! I have to go turn the AC off.
In case you haven't guessed, this week New York Goes To Work at the nudist resort.
Uh, Lady? That smilie face is tying to give your husband a blow job.
So it looks like New York is finally catching on to how this going to work; she's nervous about where America is sending her this week. She pulls up to the Terra Cotta Inn. I guess New York hasn't eaten yet because she says, "America, there better be a cafeteria in there." Something tells me she'll be losing her appetite real soon.
The door to the inn is opened by a woman who introduces herself as Holly. She is not nude. I can only assume that this is in order to maximize New York's distress when she meets the owners.
The owner, Tom talks to New York as if he's talking to a two year old. You know the voice. Sort of higher pitched, and really condescending. I can already tell he is going to irritate me. He tells her she is at a nudist resort. She wants to know where the rest of his outfit is, and he tells her normally he works in only in his shoes, socks and a smile.
Awwwww, he dressed up for you!
"Oh my goodness, his wiener is out! Uh uh. No, no, no, no, nonononono." Okay, maybe he should be talking to her like a two year old after all. Tom tells us that the Terra Cotta Inn is a very popular "clothing optional" resort. "It's actually just like any other hotel. The one difference is our guests get a much better suntan." YEY skin cancer!!!! Woo! He tells New York she is going to have lots of fun.
Why is the ass smilie mad? Did this lady just fart or something?
Tom tells New York that they have very good hygiene standards there. New York tells us she always thought good hygiene required pants. Time for us to see what New York will be doing today.
Tom tells her it's going to be lots and lots of hard work, but it's also lots of fun. New York is a little preoccupied. "Your dick is out! I'm sorry, I'm just noticing it." Tom continues on with his spiel, telling her he will decide at the end of the day whether or not she deserves to get paid. I swear to fucking god, if she fucks around Again, and still gets paid.........I'll.........um..........well.........recap the next episode I guess. SHIT!
"My ten thousand dollars is on the line, so you know what, I'm just gonna keep pushing forward, and keeping my eyes on the prize. It's just hard to do it with all these nekkid oooooold people around."
Time to get to work! Tom tells her since it's early in the morning, they will need to serve the guests breakfast. Mary Clare comes over to explain to New York the art of serving breakfast. It boils down to serve them. Be bubbly. And be cheerful. Well that should be no problem since New York has a good case of the giggles going on.
EEEEK! Is this her cheerful face?!?
New York thinks it's going to be simple to hand out fruit, croissants and orange juice. No problemo. And then the guests start to arrive. Alright. I have to say it. Why does it seem to be the people you WISH would keep their clothes ON that want to parade around naked?
Exhibit A
So far New York's asking the people what they want and holding it together. Then a guy walks in that seems to be her type. He's wearing a towel around his waist. She introduces herself to him (as Tiffany), and offers to help him get his breakfast. They seem to be hitting it off, and then he takes the towel off and slings it over his shoulder.
I bet he has a teeny weenie.
Of course she immediately develops a case of the vapors and starts hyperventilating and gulping. "Your thing is out, like you're hanging out." He's like DUH, we're nude. This dude is SOOOO into himself and how awesome he thinks he is. Blarf.
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Comments (5)
Yer doin' a FIIIINE job!
Didn't (thank Gawd) see it, but your recap was LOL funny.
Thanks!
1 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 21, 2009 8:27 AM
Woohoo! I'm with you- I'm really glad they finally didn't give her the check. It kinda defeats the whole purpose of the show if everyone is just going to be nice to her and give her the money no matter how bad of a job she does. That being said I used to work as a housekeeper in a hotel (not a nudist one thank goodness) and yeah it can be extremely gross and whatnot- for example our hotel we were required to clean the floors with a rag on our hands and knees because it was more sanitary than a mop and the stuff you'd find on the floors was horrible. That being said you also do not get paid $10,000 a day for doing even a great job. I hope this becomes more regular with her not getting the money on this show. Thanks for the awesome recap!
2 of 5 | Posted by Reiray | Posted on May 21, 2009 8:41 AM
I think this is the one time where she actually did all the tasks (and did the first two well, despite the jerky guy). It was pretty obvious from the moment NY met the resort owner, he'd find a way to avoid giving her a check. For the other times, it didn't bother me as they were the worst tasks possible.
3 of 5 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on May 21, 2009 9:31 AM
I think that you are doing a great job with your recaps. I would give you the $10,000 if this was new york goes to work and you were new york.
But I think that you may be over quoting the show, cutting into the substance of your recap and missing a few punch lines. But since I didn't have the time or the courage to write a recap for the audition. I don't think my opinion counts for a hill of beans. But I was reading wishing that there was a little more to the recap.
This was the first episode I watched and I was thinking that it would be my last. But I am pissed at that I actually liked it- I couldn't stand any of the other New York shows, but this one actually made me laugh. And I am glad that she didn't get the check because if she had been working there as a real person. She probably would have been fired.
4 of 5 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on May 21, 2009 12:09 PM
Hang in there, darling, this too shall pass. There are only so many places they can send this woman before the producers give up and decide to go back to the "I love blowup dolls" format.
You're totally up for a purple heart for taking this one on and making it funny.
Hugs,
Yenta
5 of 5 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on May 24, 2009 6:33 AM