In honor of this week's job on New York Goes to Work, I busted out my old Ouija board, and asked it a few questions. I was looking for some answers. Question #1: Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? It ignored me. Hmmm. Question #2: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? No answer. ***Shakes it***. Is this thing broken? NOOOOOOO. Oh. Okay. Question #3: When is this show gonna get cancelled?
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Save yourselves!!!!!!
Okay, fuck the Ouija board. I'm consulting the spirits in a different way.
Much Better
We begin this week as we have every other episode. New York is in her SUV heading toward the job America has chosen for her. New York is really hoping for the cake maker job. Maybe she hasn't figured out yet that she's going to keep getting stuck with the worst job of the three.
And then she sees the sign that says: Ghosts and Legends of the Queen Mary. You guessed it; this week's job is ghost hunter. And New York is beyond excited.
I will kick the ass of all five people who are voting for this shit.
She is already carrying on before the car has even stopped. She doesn't want any dead ghosts getting inside of her body. Umm. It hasn't really seemed like it mattered before who was getting into your body. As she's getting out of the SUV, we hear someone tell her to have a good day at work. I love you faceless nameless wiseass!
New York walks over to meet the team of ghost hunters she'll be working with. They're all with Beyond Investigation Magazine. Pat is the Head Ghost Hunter and he starts to tell her a little of the history of the Queen Mary, and then introduces her to the rest of the team.
We have Erica, the psychic, Steve, technician and skeptic, and Chris, junior techie and resident scaredy cat.
Pat tells New York if she completes every task she'll get a check for ten thousand dollars. We all know by now that that's not strictly true as she's gotten the check before without doing everything, but whatever, carry on Pat. New York tells them she will be there for them, but she doesn't want to do the actual catching. I think they should give her a butterfly net and send her on her way.
And then, New York sees a woman in one of the windows. Of course she immediately starts freaking the fuck out, and Pat and Erica tell her that it's a working hotel, so there are people aboard the ship. What a relief!! As they head inside, New York tells us she is so happy she wore her cross today.
Didn't seem to help this guy
She says she can already feel the energy, and is crossing herself and asking her grandma to protect her. And then, she smells it. One of the guys AWESOMELY says, "Oh, that was me, sorry." Heeheehee. She says it smells like death. Yeah, hot dog farts are like that.
New York thinks it's getting thick in there, and then she freaks out again because she's seen something. But never fear, it's just another poor hotel guest having the crap scared out of them by the crazy screaming lady. The finally reach base camp, which looks an awful lot like a conference room. Pat gives her the ghost hunting uniform to put on and New York tells us she's really nervous, but for ten g's. "I ain't afraid of no ghosts." I'm sure that was completely spontaneous.
Pat tells us that they've been investigating the Queen Mary for about five years. Does it really take five years to figure out whether or not a place is haunted? I think not. Oh, and they take it "extremely serious." Me too, Pat, me too. Let's find out what New York will have to do today.
Voices of the Vortex is totally my imaginary band's name
Pat tells her she's going to be heading down to the first class pool to run some tests. They've also got her rigged up to a camera. Not for the ghost hunting, of course, but for us to see up close and personal how loverly she looks every time she freaks out.
This is not an attractive angle for anyone
« The Unusuals: The Tape Delay | Main | Harper's Island: Thrack, Splack, Sizzle: 2001 A Waste Odyssey »
Comments (7)
Ugh, can this woman just die already?
Who honestly cares about what she does?
1 of 7 | Posted by stillborn | Posted on May 30, 2009 1:19 PM
Darling Pottymouth,
Sick and having to recap this show is just too much. Seriously, it's time to hit Flipit up for a bonus : )
It's kind of too bad that New York's mother wasn't working these jobs, as well. That would have some potential!!
Hang in there. Your recaps are awesome.
Hugs,
Yenta
2 of 7 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on May 31, 2009 5:23 AM
Hope you (and the economy) feel better soon.
Thanks for the recap.
3 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 31, 2009 10:02 AM
your recaps are better than the show....
but I can't stop watching! why?!?!
4 of 7 | Posted by steveninseattle | Posted on June 1, 2009 5:32 AM
Yenta: Sister Patterson would have been awesome on this episode and the naked one! lol
I think I have to call bullshit on this show. How can they take votes for a couple of days, then film and edit the show for the next week. I think that they have already filmed all the episodes and just let people vote for the heck of it. It isn't like Price Waterhouse is supervising the voting process or anything.
Thanks for a great recap, PM. Hope you are feeling better.
5 of 7 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 1, 2009 6:14 AM
LOLOL at the Ouija Board gif!!! I totally fell in love with you for that, those kind of gifs are near and dear to my heart, MWAH!
I am super happy they didn't give the bitch any money, maybe it will teach her that she's let everyone else inside of her, what's a few ghosts for $10,000?
OMG, on a semi-related note, you must search on YouTube (or even buy it at Best Buy, they're not that expensive) and get the season where the guys from Ghost Hunters went to the Queen Mary, it was fucking HYSTERICAL. To start with, one of their guides was this total bimbo/airhead who claimed she was "a sensitive" and that she could "feel things" and went on to tell those guys that part of the "ghostly happenings" there were the fact that you could hear water running through this random piece of machinery on the ship "that we know for SURE is not a working piece of machinery!" The guys pointed their heat-sensitive-camera-thingy (that's the technical term for it) at it and discovered that *SURPRISE* there's hot water running through the machinery because *GASP* it's a working water heater! ROFLMAO! They're plumbers on their off time, it's not like they don't know that kind of machinery. Ms. Sensitive was super-embarrassed. EVEN BETTER, they had set up a camera in one of the staterooms and left it running, and when they went back later to check the footage, they saw that some unseen force started to unmake the bed and pull the covers down on it! It was super freaky... until one of the guys noticed that there was a jump in the video image that led to them discovering that someone came into the room, stopped the camera while an accomplice got into position and pulled the covers down... total hoax! It was an awesome show, PLUS they also go to the Winchester Mystery House, which is one of my favorite places in San Jose...
Sorry for the tangent, but I thought that shit was almost as funny as New York being afraid someone's trying to get inside her body (LOVED the It pic!)
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on June 1, 2009 1:14 PM
stillborn: I don’t wish death on her, just on her stupid show! But you’re right, who really cares about what she’s doing? I’d like to meet those people and smack them upside the head. :-D
Yenta: I agree. I think it would be a lot more entertaining with her mom – that woman is a riot.
fire@will: Thanks so much, I feel much better. Hopefully the economy will too! And soon.
steveninseattle: Thanks! I don’t know. Is your head being held in place by a vise?!? Someone call the cops! Steven’s being held prisoner and forced to watch this show – someone save him!
Snootchy Bootches: I think you are absolutely correct. What scares me is that they might be planning on airing ALL of the jobs at some point in time. I need to go lie down now.
J-Mo: Holy Shit! I have missed you! What and when will you be recapping next? I need my fix. I’m glad you liked the gif! I was cracking myself up, but you never know if anyone else is going to find it as amusing as you. I’ll definitely have to check out that Ghost Hunters episode – it sounds hiLARious!
Thanks all for reading and commenting – you all make having to watch this dreck a little less torturous!
7 of 7 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 1, 2009 3:21 PM