Have I told you lately that I hate this show? Have I told you it makes me want to die? It takes away all my laughter, makes me want to swing from the rafters, or maybe just stick a fork in my thigh. This week New York Goes to Work as a doggie day care worker. To shadow this job I decided to babysit my parents' cute little beagle, Sasha for an evening. Bitch pooped on my carpet, broke into my pantry and ate everything she could scoff down in thirty seconds, peed in my favorite pair of shoes and scratched up my doors. There's a reason I don't have a dog. In fact there's at least four right there.
Don't let the cute face fool ya. This is a Devil Dog.
New York thinks she can do anything after being an exotic animal trainer last week. She's got her fingers crossed for the grocery store job which sort of surprises me. There are a lot of people and situations that could really a piss a person off working at the grocery store. That said, I was hoping for that too. I'm sick of the animal jobs.
And so she gets doggie day care worker. Because I never get what I want. Boo hoo hoo. Poor me. I know you all feel sorry for me right? RIGHT?!?!? New York's happy about this assignment. She thinks it will be fun. I think her definition of fun and mine are vastly different. Maybe it's more fun for her to do these things than it is for us to watch them.
That one piece is driving me nuts!
And the people working at this doggie day care......WOW. The owner looks like a piece of work, and the rest, well, look for yourselves.
Marcie tells her she is going to Work because they have seventy-five dogs. Doesn't that exceed the handler to dog ratio? Well, I think we all saw how I handled one dog so it's safe to assume that seventy-five dogs would be out of my league. Let's see how New York does.
Did this bitch say seventy-five dogs?!?
Time to suit up for work and see what the tasks for the day are.
Marcie takes her outside to show her the dogs. There are a buttload of them. I'm guessing about seventy-five. What do you think? There's a bloodhound there that New York says is a horse, not a dog. Then she says he looks like her ex-boyfriend.
I'm offended by that
For her first task New York will be working with Darian cleaning the kennels. That sounds like too much fun. Darian says all she has to do is make the kennels look spotless, as if there isn't any poop or anything in there. Can she just put newspaper down over everything? That would make it look clean, right?
As they go into the kennels, New York says it looks like prison.
It is, Chica. Don't drop the soap, I'm telling you.
New York tells us that she's wondering what these dogs could have done wrong to end up in doggie prison. And then. Darian brings her over to one that needs to be cleaned. Ummm, Gasmi? I may throw up. There's a big ole pile of shit on the floor, and New York says it looks like ground beef or something. I don't know if I'll be able to make it through this part.
I was gonna put a picture of it in here, but decided to spare you all. Also? I don't think I can look at it again. She doesn't want to clean it up. Well, no shit. What else is new? Darian tells her, "It's one of the doodies here." Oh hardy har har Darian. And then they show it again, but all mushed. What the hell did she do to it?
I lied.
Of course as she's cleaning it up the editors have added helpful squishing sounds to push me over the edge into barfville. Omhmygod, my tummy isn't liking this. New York is saying that it's chunky and that it reminds her of split pea soup - please make it stop!!!!!!! You know the funny thing is I can watch the goriest horror movie and be fine, but something like this or rotten food gets me every single time. I don't know why. Weird, huh?
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Comments (6)
At this point, I feel as if they're telling NY to overexaggerate her reactions for good TV. I felt her response to the well-built man at the nudist colony was overdone, especially considering what she probably witnessed in her dating show. Also, the last two jobs have been slightly boring. I know they're doing a low-key version of 'The Simple Life,' and while it's nice to have one show on VH1 not advertising STDs, but come on now . . . At the same time, in the past two eps she's looked pretty again. Maybe she is growing into her surgeries -
1 of 6 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on June 10, 2009 7:11 AM
Thanks for enduring this and turning a pile of dog poop into comedy fertilizer!
2 of 6 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 10, 2009 7:17 AM
I agree, thank you very much for recapping this show. I couldn't take watching it anymore and deleted it from my DVR. It's too contrived and obviously fake. I do enjoy your recaps though. Much more highly entertaining than the actual show without all the bull.
3 of 6 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on June 12, 2009 7:28 PM
anicho01: I think you're absolutely right. She's like a living caricature.
fire@will: Thanks for reading!
thatswhatshesaid: Thanks so much. Can't say I blame ya for deleting it from the dvr!
I keep telling myself it will be over soon. Does anyone know how many shows are left? I can't bring myself to look.
SWAK, PottyMouth
4 of 6 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 14, 2009 2:19 PM
I have never watched this show, and only tuned in b/c i have been working in boarding kennels/doggie daycares for years. Pottymouth, I'm really very sorry that you have to watch this on a regular basis.
honestly, no kennel i have ever worked at would have had someone like her at our facility, even for the "publicity". that place did not look run well, and that many dogs in one yard, with only what looked like 4-5 people and toys? thats a dog fight just waiting to happen. also, every kennel i have worked at has those same 3 people working there, just different names.
also, considering i do this job everyday, i wanted to smack her, especially during the bathing. I hate to sound like bitchface candace, but i bath anywhere from 5-15 dogs a day, and i have no sympathy. and they gave her some easy baths, a bloodhound and a basset are shorthaired. id love to see what she would do with a dog like a samoyed, who actually has shit caked to its hair back there.
i cracked up when you commented about candace telling new york to put the dog back in the yard when she was done bathing it.
let new york work with me for day, trust me you guys would LOVE to watch that.
5 of 6 | Posted by purplex15 | Posted on June 15, 2009 8:45 PM
purplex15: I never even thought of the short hair/long hair difference. They were probably afraid she'd hurt the dog.
I don't think any of these "businesses" are indicative of what the real thing is like - just the fact that they're willing to have NY there tells me everything I need to know!
6 of 6 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 16, 2009 3:44 AM