I'm sure you've guessed as much from the title, but I'll tell ya anyway......this week New York Goes to Work as a clown! Now I know I asked for this last week, but I sort of had second thoughts. I mean, clowns have always creeped me out. Ever since that fucker in the Poltergeist movie.
I may start having nightmares again.
We begin the episode as usual; with New York driving up in her shiny SUV. Today she's bitching and moaning about how she never gets the job she wants. Seriously? Be happy you have a job at all. So she wants the matchmaker gig but we all know there's no way that's going to happen. And then........
How many points is it these days for running down a clown?
Uh oh. New York's not happy. Hilariously she says she doesn't want to be a clown and adds, "I'm not that happy. I'm not that cheery. I'm a mean bitch!"
I think that's what we're all counting on
Lord. This clown lady is going to irritate me, I can tell already. First of all, she's cheerful. And like New York, I am not that happy. Cheerful people aggravate me. Go be cheerful somewhere else. Also? She's got a voice that's annoying as fuck. It's sort of nasally and very chipper, and it makes me want to punch her in the face.
Sorry. I can't help it.
For once New York and I are on the same page. She tells us, "This crazy ass clown better get her ass back to Who-Ville." Oh. Never mind. We're not on the same page. Clowns don't live in Who-Ville, New York, Whos do.
Who?
Exactly. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any more annoying......
I lied. I knew it would get more annoying. I'm just praying she has to work a kid's party and ends up cursing all the kids out. THAT would be awesome. Let's meet this group of clowns.
Is ballusionist even a real job? In that case, I'm going to start calling myself a BULLusionist.
Moxy tells New York that Jack will be teaching her how to juggle and New York tells her that she's used to juggling two things at once, but not three.
Excuse me while I go barf. Whew! I got a mental picture there for a minute of what to things she could possibly be talking about and.........oh.......no..............blaaaaaarf. Who know this was a weight loss show?
Moxy tells her there may be time for that later (eeeeewwww), but for now she will be training, and then performing at a kid's party. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh. I might enjoy this after all. In case you've found any of this hard to follow, let's take a look at what New York will be doing today.
Time for New York to get dressed and ready for her clown training.
Botox-y
Up first is learning balloons with resident ballusionist, Brian. The first step is putting the balloon on some sort of pump. She should be good at this.
Ahhhhh.......I bet she's reliving some of those moments with Tailor Made right about now.
She gets the balloon on the pump successfully and blows it up. What cracks me up is that New York is less like someone who is there to learn right now and more like a little kid at the show. It's sort of endearing in a weird way. Don't worry though; I'm sure it won't last for long.
Brian starts off with something New York is sure to enjoy. A balloon penis! Her balloon pops almost immediately, so Brian, ever the gentleman, gives her his balloon to work with.
What kid wouldn't want one of these?
Ooohhhh, they're actually making a dog. Brian makes it all seem very easy, but I don't think I'd be able to do it either. I'm sure I'd be popping balloons left and right. Brian thinks she did well at the task once she got over her initial fear of the balloons.
On to juggling. Jack the juggler is a giant dork. I'm trying to figure out who he reminds me of, but I haven't quite placed it. The bad thing is I won't be able to stop thinking about it until I figure this out. I hate it when that happens.
Aside from "doofus", I got nothing.
So Jack has got hankies or scarves for New York to learn to juggle. She goes right back into "kid" mode while he's demonstrating, ooooing and aaaahhhing over his mad juggling skills. And then it's New York's turn to try.....
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Comments (6)
I think the parents that send their children to a party hosted by New York are the same ones that let the Charm School girls supervise their kids at the YMCA.
Great recap. Everytime I think I hate my recapping assignment I see a commercial for your show coming up right afterwards, and I remember that Charm School really ain't so bad.
1 of 6 | Posted by themiki | Posted on June 17, 2009 11:00 AM
Darling Pottymouth,
I hate to say it, but New York's face actually looked kind of pretty when she was dressed up as a clown; at least compared to her unclown face.
I hope she gets stuck with Dog the Bounty hunter next week and they "accidentally" shoot each other.
You are totally my hero for continuing to turn out TWO f-ing quality recaps a week. Holy cow!! Flipit better be sending you somewhere warm, sunny, and sandy when this is done...
Hugs,
Yenta
2 of 6 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 17, 2009 12:10 PM
Ditto to what Yentapatrol wrote.
Thanks, P-M.
3 of 6 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 17, 2009 12:46 PM
I would have thought "Clown" would be as close to an ideal job description for NY as you could get.
You want to see a scary clown? Tim Curry in "Stephen King's IT"---wooooo.
I've always hated clowns. Mainly because they are not funny. The same reason I hate Howie Mandel. (Clowns have better personalities, though.)
4 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 17, 2009 3:04 PM
This episode was pretty f'in hilarious! I thought it was hysterical when she had to interact with the kids, especially since they are FAR more mature than she is.
I did however, think she looked a lot more like an extra from "Party Monster," than a clown, and like yentapatrol, thought she actually looked somewhat "cute" in her clown garb.
Last, but certainly not least, my offering for Jack's "resemblance," is a darker, more rectangular version of Alfred E. Newman--must be something about those tea cup ears :P
5 of 6 | Posted by jerzgrrrl72 | Posted on June 20, 2009 5:59 PM
themiki: Holy Shit! You are so right. I can't believe I didn't make that connection myself! I love what you're doing over there in Charm School; you make me giggle every week.
Yenta: I also thought New York looked better as a clown than she does in real life. LMAO off at Dog the Bounty Hunter! If only!
fire@will: Oh no! Thank YOU for reading and letting me know I am not alone with this dreck.
pixielated: I almost put a picture of the Tim Curry clown! And I totally agree about Howie. I have never understood his appeal.
jerzgrrrl72: Ooooo, I didn't think of that, but you are onto something with the whole Party Monster vibe.
I wish I could say I'm looking forward to seeing what job she gets tomorrow, but......well.....you know. Hope to see you all on the other side!
SWAK, PottyMouth
6 of 6 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 21, 2009 7:29 PM