This week on Newport Harbor everyone is making plans. Mayor G-Thing is planning to school Clay straight down the path to promiscuity, Chrissy is planning to go shopping for a new swimsuit, Allie and Fatty are planning to visit a continent called France, and Chase is planning to continue jerking everyone around. Taylor is planning to remember to be mad at Chase, and Sasha is planning to provide a lot of good conversation driving while Chrissy ponders on which swimsuit to buy. I'm planning to steal my parents' credit card and put a down payment on a condo. Let's head on down to the real Orange County!
Chrissy leads us in with a little recap of the prom episode. Apparently Chrissy has started smoking crack because she claims that Allie and Chase finally got back together last week, which wasn't the case at all. At most, they went to prom as a question mark, or a dot, dot, dot. Then Chrissy says that Taylor plowed in and ruined their evening! Um, Chrissy? YOU invited Taylor and encouraged her to come. Bad narrator! Pull your tongue out of Clay's throat and pay attention!
So Chase brings Allie to the beach to try and deconstruct what went wrong on prom night. Chase does his usual song and dance making himself look like an innocent bystander to the chaos, but explaining that he does want to try and make things right with Taylor. Allie says that Taylor will come around because Chase has her on a leash. Ha! Totally. She may have hung up on him last week, but I'm guessing she'll collapse well before this episode ends. Kudos to Allie for once again behaving gracefully when she's passed over for another girl.
"So prom wasn't my fault. I wasn't even there."
Tonight's episode is called "The V Word." Oh, what could it be? Valentine? Violence? Vanity? Ventriloquist? I can't stand the suspense!
Sasha and Chrissy plop into Chrissy's pool to float around on rafts sunbathing and discussing prom. Mayor G-Thing and Clay toss a football around on the beach and then sit down to have a discussion of their own. Maybe it's just me, but Mayor G-Thing drives me insane. He is always going around like he's doing everyone such a huge favor by being there ("Prom with G-Thing?") and talking like he's omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent to everything going down in the Harbor and regions beyond. He always talks to Clay like he's leading him down the path of cool-dom, bestowing all of his exquisite advice on his naïve little pal. And really, Mayor G-Thing has gotten the least action out of any guy on the show. He took Taylor on a date that led nowhere and Sasha wouldn't even look at him all during prom night. Step off, G-Thing. And cool it with your idiot surfer drawl. This isn't "Maui Fever." My apologies to the Mayor G-Thing fans - sort of.
"Dude, you're so lucky I'm here."
Anyway G-Thing wants to know if Clay and Chrissy hooked up on prom night and Clay pulls the "I don't kiss-and-tell" attitude to cover for the fact that all they did was long kiss. Next G-Thing wants to know if Chrissy is a virgin. As if he isn't. Clay giggles and says he doesn't know. Mayor G-Thing then "accuses" Clay of also being a virgin and Clay scoffs. I'm guessing they both are. And rightly so - they're children. Wait! Doesn't "virgin" start with a V?
Imagine the sheer coincidence to discover that Sasha and Chrissy are having the exact same conversation in the pool! Chrissy tells Sasha that while she and Clay were making out after the prom she got the idea that he probably wanted more, but that he was such a gentleman that he didn't pressure her. Wow, that was really big of him to not pressure her into having sex with him on their third date - in high school. Chrissy is very proud of herself for making it all the way through high school while remaining a virgin. Seriously? First of all, that's a bit alarming, but I guess I didn't go to high school in Orange County. Secondly, I'm not a bit surprised that she made it through because she had a virtual chastity belt in the form of Daddy and his cell phone. She can't really take all the virtuous credit. Sasha wonders aloud if Clay will "go in for the kill," but Chrissy says that she's going to hold her ground no matter what because she made it this far. Also, her implanted GPS device has an alarm that activates whenever she's alone with a boy.
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Comments (10)
These kids don't seem to be as promiscuous as Laguna kids. I think the innocence is cute. Not so much entertaining but cute.
1 of 10 | Posted by jasminetheawesome | Posted on September 21, 2007 8:01 AM
This episode drove me nuts with the shady editing. Maybe I'm crazy, but I swear the phone Taylor was ignoring in her bedroom was a red razor...and then the phone she answered was not even close to a razor. Am I making things up?
Also, the hot tub editing drove me nuts. Chrissy saying she was a virgin was clearly a voiceover. Didn't she say it loud enough the first time? That annoyed me.
This show is not nearly as interesting as LB was - there just isn't enough drama for my liking. Or maybe it's because I don't like most of the people on this show.
2 of 10 | Posted by Mrs.Meow | Posted on September 21, 2007 8:18 AM
Mrs. Meow -
I thought the same thing. The worst case of the editing was clearly Taylor's phone. Must be an MTV thing lately between this show and the Hills.
3 of 10 | Posted by heathie66 | Posted on September 21, 2007 9:15 AM
Well, the scene with grant and clay at the beach was cleary dubbed over! they weren't even moving their mouths when they were talking about chrissie's virginity! i still like the show though...i think it's as entertaining as LB, just more true to life.
4 of 10 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on September 21, 2007 9:51 AM
I loved your comment about Clay sitting there with his big grin, chuckling about everything. That was perfect!
Daddy has definitely not been as ferocious with the cell phone of late. I really wonder if the MTV producers told him to knock it off as he was ruining their big storyline.
Art and Carolyn were terrible. Just as i would suspect, just seeing their spawn. I did laugh at Art when Allie told him if he ruined her senior trip, that she would never speak to him again and he was like "Promise??" but i do think he was just hamming it up for the cameras.
Very funny recap and I think you have G-Thing pegged. For as much advice as he gives, the most action he's gotten all season has been from that exercise bike at the after-prom party!
5 of 10 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on September 21, 2007 12:51 PM
"So now regular courtesy is not to be expected as a given, but rewarded with intercourse?" I laughed so hard at that entire paragraph. So funny!
Great recap!
6 of 10 | Posted by rachw00 | Posted on September 22, 2007 10:18 PM
This show is sooooo boring! MTV should follow my nieces and her friends around. Of course they don't live by the beach and they are not nearly as rich as these kids, but let me tell you...
Just a tidbit: My niece (just graduated hs) has a best friend who, believes she is a pixie, is an aspiring actess, aspiring singer, and has a double personality. Just so happens that her boyfriend also has a double personality who tried to make out with my niece...not the actual boyfriend but his alternate self. My niece was very entertained and was actually surprised that he commited so well.
My niece's best friend also took the opportunity to performe an interpretive dance to an Evanessence song at her own birthday party. She wasn't deterred with the fact that some kids spit their drinks out.
So far this sort of material would make for hilarious TV. I prefer listening to her stories than watching this lame show. LB 1 and 2 can't be matched I guess.
7 of 10 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on September 22, 2007 10:49 PM
Funny recap!
I can't stand Mayor G-Thing either. He's totally a Spencer in training.
And as far as Chrissy making it through high school a virgin, I grew up in Orange County and I only knew 1 or 2 girls who graduated as virgins. If you had a steady boyfriend for more than a month, it was pretty much assumed you'd be giving it up, and then go on to being a total ho with subsequent hookups and boyfriends since you all ready got your pesky virginity out of the way. Or maybe that was just the sluts I hung with.
Did they ever mention how long the trip to Europe was for? I don't even think my parents credit card would have had enough room on it to charge something like that. Allie's parent's only have themselves to blame so I can't feel sorry for them.
8 of 10 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on September 23, 2007 2:49 PM
Hey guys!
As always, I LOVE reading your comments.
UglyCutie: Your comment had me rolling! You should write comments each week and give us a mini episode because you are totally right - your niece and her friends sound way more interesting and camera worthy than what we've seen lately.
SnackyCakes420: Thanks for the info about real-life OC kids. I guess I'm just a square. :)
See you all soon!
Much love,
-HG
9 of 10 | Posted by honeygangsta | Posted on September 23, 2007 9:23 PM
One more episode and it's over! Does this mean the summer was so boring there was nothing worth airing?
Take away the money and these kids seemed to represent kids from just about anywhere in the US. It was also nice to see some parental involvement.
Anyone hear of a season 2 or another LB?
10 of 10 | Posted by jenna | Posted on September 28, 2007 11:36 PM